Page 14 of Only Temporary

I open the door and see Braylen and Kieran running around the room, chasing each other. They’re laughing, so I think they’re good and not fighting. But who the hell knows? They head out into the backyard, still squealing and having a seemingly good time.

Raegan isn’t anywhere in sight, and I still don’t know what the hell happened there. I didn’t mean she’s too skinny—even though I kind of think she is. All of them are on the scrawny side, but it’s not their fault. I know exactly who I blame for that.

Cason is camped out on the couch though. Just waiting for me. “This isn’t going to work. You should just give up.”

“I don’t give up easily.”

“Bullshit,” he says and stands up, his eyes cold and angry as he approaches. “You gave up on us.”

“Cason,” I start, feeling that sick feeling twisting in my gut. Before I can even try to tell him how sorry I am again, knowing it’ll fall on deaf ears, there’s a knock at the door.

No way Tatum had time to get pizza already, but when I open the door, I see it is in fact him with no pizza. He grins at me and places a hand on my shoulder. “Relax. I ordered the pizza, but you sounded like you needed backup.”

I try really hard not to just sink to the floor, then and there, with relief. I hate that I’m so dependent on him, but after all this time together, he’s been my rock. “Thank you,” I say, desperation clawing at my insides because I want to use.

I hate that about myself. My mother—who I despise and am so damn angry at—she just died from addiction. She let it control her, and I hate that the same thing lives inside me.

“Breathe,” he says cautiously, his eyes on mine, and he knows. He knows how badly I want an escape.

I do as he says, and I take a deep breath in and then release it, but my eyes close in frustration as soon as I hear Cason’s voice. “Oh, is this the boyfriend?”

“Goddammit, Cason.” I open my eyes and glare at my brother over my shoulder.

“Ah, so you’re going to be the one to make it really fucking difficult on your brother, huh?” Tatum doesn’t sound bothered at all. “Can’t make it easy. Why would you want to do that?”

Cason is practically frothing at the mouth as Tatum walks in to approach him. He’s huge. I mean a really massive human, tall and a wall of muscle, and he towers over my little brother. But I don’t worry for even a second that he’ll hurt him. “Why should I?”

“Why shouldn’t you? He’s all you’ve got, kid.”

“Fuck you. You don’t know me, and just because you’re looking to get into my brother’s pants or already have or whatever you two have going on doesn’t mean you can talk to me however the hell you want.”

I shake my head and close the door, watching as Tatum walks closer to Cason. To Cason’s credit—and maybe a little bit to his detriment, he doesn’t flinch. “I’m not fucking your brother. I don’t swing that way, but I do care about your brother.” I swallow hard and watch Cason as he takes that in. “He was there for me in my darkest hour, when I was crying like a baby because I wanted another hit. He kept me strong.” Cason’s eyes darken, and I pray he just shuts his mouth. Thankfully, he does for the time being. “You don’t have to make it easy on him, but trust me on this one, your brother...”—he moves in even closer—“he can weather the storm, and he won’t give up on you, no matter how hard you push.”

Cason stands there, just staring up at Tatum, looking like he wants to kill him. But I also swear I see a hint of something else. Respect, maybe? “Whatever. Who talks like that about a dude who’s just his friend?”

“You really seem stuck on the whole boyfriend thing,” Tatum remarks. “You want to tell us something? Because I’m down with the rainbow, even if I’ve never dabbled in the same sex.”

Cason frowns deeply now, and I laugh, punching Tatum in the arm. “Stop.”

“What?” He shrugs, grinning wide. “I just want the kid to know he’ll be accepted, no matter what. And there’s no shame in liking dick.”

“Wow,” I say with a laugh and shake my head. He’s being an over-the-top asshole right now. Trying to rile up Cason, but I also know he means it. I have no idea how my brother identifies, but it doesn’t matter either way to me. I’ll never understand hating people because of who they love. Or are attracted to.

For some reason, Phillip pops into my head right then, and I don’t really know why. I’ve never been one to judge or guess anyone’s sexuality in any way before, but I can’t help wondering if he’s into men or women or both.

“Pizza will be here soon.” Tatum’s voice interrupts my wayward thoughts, and I realize Cason has left the room. “I ordered a shitload.”

I plop down on the couch and run my fingers through my hair. “Thank you.”

He sits down next to me, and even though I’m not looking at him, I can feel his worry. “You look like shit.”

“Thanks,” I say sarcastically, but he doesn’t laugh or joke.

“You going to be able to handle this?”

My entire body is rigid with tension and fear, but I still manage to look right into his eyes. “You just told my brother I can weather any storm.”

“And I meant it. But you don’t have to play it down for me. This is a lot.”

---