Page 30 of Only Temporary

Who apparently is once again going to swoop in and save me.

FOURTEEN

“You sure we need all this?” I look pointedly at Kellan, who’s staring at the items in the cart. And yeah, maybe I went a little overboard, but I want to fix this for him. When I heard his voice on the phone tonight—when he told me he had fucked up—I thought he’d relapsed.

That he was sitting out on that porch in agony—knowing he let his siblings down. I couldn’t stand the thought of him blaming himself, and on the drive to his house, I was thinking of how I could help. How I could find a great rehab program and maybe take care of the kids while he was getting sober again—so many ways I’d have broken all the rules for him.

I need to get myself in check—but I’m afraid I’m already in too deep for that. But thankfully—he didn’t go back to drugs and alcohol. He forgot Raegan’s birthday—which sucks—but in the grand scheme of things isn’t so bad. And it’s something I knew instantly I could make a little better.

I start to put things on the belt and grab my wallet out of my pocket. “We do. We really do,” I answer, and he stares at the debit card I pull from my wallet. I can see it makes him nervous—me paying for this—but I try to make light of it. “My treat. I’m kind of growing fond of the kid.” I wink at him, and thankfully, he smiles at that.

Growing fond is a mild way of putting it, and it’s not just Raegan. All four kids, I’m learning, are incredible. I mean that, truly. And I deal with a lot of kids. But Braylen, he’s so cute with his big blue eyes that are way too large for his face at the moment but make him endearing.

He’s starting to like school a little more, from what I can gather. Making friends. Even though he’s shy, the more outgoing kids in class seem to be drawn to him and are hellbent on pulling him out of his shell.

Kieran, I’ve found, is extremely book smart. Like genius level. He loves to read, and I’m not talking about books for ten-year-olds. He loves to read way above his level, and history is his favorite subject in school.

Raegan—she’s a tough cookie—but she’s had to be. The only girl out of five kids. Her mother, the only female role model she had, was obsessed with male attention and hooked on drugs from a young age. Raegan has told me a couple of times that her greatest fear is being anything like her mother. She wants to be a great artist, and from the drawings she’s shown me, she’s well on her way to that.

Cason—phew, that kid may never fully open up to me, but I’ve noticed he’s found a slight kinship with Tatum from the rare glimpses I’ve seen of the two together. Tatum has only been at two of the dinners I’ve made for the family. And both times, he sat next to Cason, and they held pretty long conversations without any sneering.

And then of course, there’s the oldest brother of the brood—one I cannot stop thinking about. Talking about dating and apps the other day was such a bad idea because I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him since then. About what it would be like to actually go on a date with him.

I try to push those thoughts away as I check out, and we drive back to his house. When we get there, Tatum is in the living room with Braylen and Cason, sitting on the couch and watching wrestling on the television.

It’s loud, and the wrestlers are way over-the-top, but Braylen seems to be enjoying it, and Cason doesn’t look as murdery as normal. “Hey.” Tatum stands up and walks over to us, looking at the bags in our hands. His eyes meet Kellan’s. “Cason told me about Rae. I’m sorry, man.”

Kellan stiffens but seems to relax marginally when Tatum puts his beefy hand on his shoulder and squeezes. God, what I’d do to be able to be the one touching Kellan right now.

But I rally and hold the bags up, striding toward the kitchen. “The night’s not over! Cason, Braylen, you guys want to help me?”

They both follow me, Braylen clearly excited, and Cason—I’m sure it has more to do with curiosity than anything, but I’ll take it. I start to pull everything out of the bags when I reach the kitchen table, and Cason picks up some of the streamers we bought. “Seriously?”

“Yup,” I say, letting thepsound pop and hand him some tape. “Can you start hanging these up and maybe blow up some balloons?”

“You really think Rae cares about streamers and balloons?”

“Yup,” I say again with a bright smile.

He grumbles, but he does what I ask, and Tatum and Kellan join us as we all quickly decorate the place with black-and-white birthday decor, and I quickly wrap a couple of presents. Just some nail polish—red and black—because it seems very Rae, and a gift card or two.

I put fourteen candles in the cake and look around the room. Not too shabby for an hour’s notice. I tell Braylen to go get his brother and sister while I light the candles on the cake. I secure my hat on my head after handing them out to Tatum, Kellan, and Cason, who all look at me like I’m insane but still humor me and slip them on their heads.

I pick up the cake, candles lit, and we all wait, standing side by side until Braylen leads a very suspicious and annoyed-looking Raegan and Kieran out to us. I yell, “Surprise,” and then launch into a rendition ofHappy Birthdaythat takes the others way too long to get into, but they finally do.

Raegan stares at me and the cake after we finish singing, like she’s not quite sure what to do. “Happy birthday! Make a wish, Rae,” I say happily, hoping this plan doesn’t backfire.

She looks over at Kellan, annoyance multiplying as she folds her arms. “You think this really makes up for you forgetting?”

Kellan’s big shoulders sag, and he shakes his head. “No. Not at all, but I’m trying, Rae. I’m so damn sorry I forgot today was your birthday.”

He looks so down and hopeless as he stares at his sister, his remorse written all over his face. I silently plead with Raegan to forgive him, but I let them have this moment. She huffs and drops her arms, looking back at the cake. “Whatever.” She huffs out a big breath and blows out all her candles before looking back at me. “Thanks.”

“It sucks that we all forgot, but it doesn’t have anything to do with how much we care about you, kiddo,” I say and place the cake on the table. Picking up three hats and handing them to Rae, Braylen, and Kieran. They all have the same look on their faces as the others did but also seem to relent and put their hats on. “Plus, we get to have cake. Chocolate cake,” I say exaggeratedly, and Raegan snorts.

“Pass.”

“Are you kidding?” I gasp. “You can’t pass on the cake. That’s blasphemous,” I tease. “But we do have a couple of presents too.” I wink at her, holding up presents. She reluctantly takes those, of course. Opening them while Tatum and Kellan cut slices of cake.

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