Page 32 of Only Temporary

He grins. “He’s easy to trust.” We sit silently for another moment, and then he says, “You know, that bath idea was a terrible one.”

“What?” I say, looking over at him. “You tried it?”

“Well, sort of.” He shifts a little, looking uncomfortable, and I find myself moving a little closer to him on the couch. “It started out as a shower, and then I kind of let it turn into a very cold bath.”

I shudder at that and shake my head. “No. That’s not how you do it. You have to start it out as a bath, add bubbles or salts. Run it warm, and sink into it.”

By the grim look on his face, I sense there was more to it, but I don’t push him. There’s so much pain hiding behind those big blue eyes of his. But then I see it—his eyes aren’t looking at mine. Nope. They’re settled right on my mouth.

My heart gives a desperate flutter, and God, I want to lean into him. It’s a magnetic pull as he starts to lean in, and as much as I want to feel his lips brush over mine, I know I can’t do this.

I jump up, almost comically, and nearly fall right on my ass when I trip over something on the floor—a notebook, I think—as I head toward the door in a hurry. “I have to go.”

“What?” He looks slightly out of it as he rises from the couch to follow me. “Why?”

I could lie. I should lie. But as he reaches me when I get to the front door, I can’t. “Because I think maybe you were about to kiss me.”

His voice is deep, rumbly, and oh so sexy when he leans in a little closer, his eyes moving to my lips again and then settling on my eyes. “Yes. I was.”

I swallow hard, swaying into him, wanting so badly to give in, but I just rest my hand over his heart instead. “I want that so badly too,” I say honestly, my voice hoarse. “So badly.”

“Me too.” His eyes are deadly serious, his vulnerability slicing through me.

I hold him there and keep myself in place, with just my hand on his chest and look deep into his eyes. “But Kellan, if your lips touch mine, there’s no going back. And that’s a line I can’t cross.”

He takes his time processing that. I can’t help wondering if he’s as at war with himself as I am right now, but he doesn’t say a word. He just smiles and then leans forward, pressing a quick kiss to my forehead. “Goodnight, Phillip. Thank you for tonight. For everything.”

I can’t find any words at the moment, my throat is too dry to speak anyway, so I just nod my head and wave at him before slipping out the front door.

Even though our lips didn’t touch, that move was just as devastating.

FIFTEEN

“What’s your problem?” I look over at Cason, where he’s sitting next to me on the couch. Honestly, I’m surprised we’ve gone almost thirty minutes without fighting—that might be a record, but it looks like that’s about to end.

“Nothing. Why?”

“You’re home early, and you keep watching the clock,” he observes. “Did you lose your job? Because that would suck.”

“I didn’t lose my job,” I grumble.

Nope. I just asked Tatum if he’d cover for me so I could leave an hour early because it’s Tuesday, and I haven’t seen Phillip since Raegan’s birthday. Knowing today is a Tuesday means he’ll be picking Rae up at school, and I didn’t want to miss him.

It’s possible I have a really big problem when it comes to my family’s social worker. I can’t stop thinking about him. Especially thinking about kissing him for real and not just on his forehead.

The fact that he’s a guy and I’ve never been into a guy before should probably be freaking me out, but it’s not. I was more than willing to dive right in, but apparently, the feeling is not mutual. I mean, he said it was, but I think—I know—that if he had given me the go-ahead, I’d have kissed him. Consequences be damned.

But then I look at my brothers and my sister, and I feel like a total dick because it could put them in jeopardy, and no matter how badly I want Phillip, I can’t and won’t do that to them.

So maybe Phillip was right to stop me from kissing him, but it doesn’t mean we can’t still be around each other. I look at my phone again. “Aren’t they usually home by now?”

Cason looks at me like I’m insane, and I’m kind of starting to feel that way. “You know Raegan has walked home from school since she was like five years old, right? In way worse neighborhoods.” I do know that, and it twists my stomach in knots, thinking about what could have happened to all of them.

But that’s not why I’m obsessing about the time. “She’s with Phillip. I know she’s safe.”

“Yeah, which is fucking ridiculous that you won’t just let her walk home, but she’s with her babysitter. So why are you worried?”

Because I want to see said babysitter.Thankfully, I don’t say that out loud. Cason would be all over that. “I’m not worried. It was a question.”

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