Page 35 of Only Temporary

“This was you.”Again.

He shakes his head, his eyes going back to the kids, and my eyes follow as Cason moves to the next cage over and starts swinging. Not missing one. “These kids have been through hell, but you stepped up. You’re getting help, and you’re doing everything you can for them. That’s all that matters.”

I laugh when a rogue ball hits against the fence where we’re standing, and Braylen starts cackling uncontrollably, which has a ripple effect through us all. I don’t remember ever laughing like this—but Braylen’s laugh is contagious. He hiccups and finally catches his breath, only to start laughing again and making us all do the same.

I don’t even remember what we’re laughing about, but in that moment, we all seem so free in ways we never have been.

And whether he knows it or not, the man standing next to me is the reason for that.

SIXTEEN

When we get back to the house, Tatum heads out pretty quickly because he has to work tomorrow. All the kids head to bed but seem pretty excited about this evening. Braylen is already asking to go back.

Kellan promises they will soon, and he finally decides that’s good enough and bounces down the hall to his room. That kid is seriously growing on me. He’s way too cute.

I feel a sense of peace from tonight, like maybe I did something right. And I have to be honest, it feels nice to get a win sometimes. This week has already been a tough one, and it’s only Tuesday.

“I should go,” I say, starting toward the door.

“I’ll walk you out,” I hear Kellan’s deep voice say, and I can’t argue with him—okay I could—but I don’t want to.

I’ve spent every minute thinking about that almost kiss since it happened. I’m not going to let it happen, of course, but it doesn’t mean I can’t be around him. We go outside, and he’s careful to close the door quietly, so he doesn’t disturb the kids.

“That was a really good idea. I haven’t seen the kids that happy since...” We were walking toward my car, but he stops. “God, I don’t think I’ve ever seen them that happy.”

I reach my door, and he walks the few steps over to join me. I should just get in the car, but there’s something about the look on his face that makes me turn to look at him. “You okay?”

“No.” My brain runs through all the scenarios of what could be wrong. I go over the night in my head, but then he leans in closer. “I really want to kiss you.”

Oh.

“Kellan...” I start, but what can I say to that. I want that too. So badly, I can’t sleep at night, but I can’t do this. It’s not right. I know that. Hell, it was even in the training book when I started. These clients—they trust us during some of the worst times of their lives. We can’t take advantage of that.

“I know,” he says softly. I can smell his minty breath and wonder if he was chewing gum at some point. I can’t keep my eyes off his mouth. “I can’t stop thinking about it, Phillip.”

“You’re killing me here,” I say honestly because I feel the desperate need to touch him clawing at my insides—making my hand twitch.

“Oh yeah?” He gives me this sexy little half grin as he places one hand on top of my car and looks into my eyes. “Killing you? I’m the one who wants to do it.”

God, his lips are perfect.Full and pouty. They’re masculine but still so beautiful, I want to weep with the desire to touch them with my own. “You think I don’t? I do,” I answer the question before he can. “I want to so damn badly, but I can’t.”

“But what?”

“But I’m the social worker assigned to your family. It’s unprofessional.” There. Good. I said it. That was good... but shit, his eyes are so beautiful.

And right now, they’re stormy and confused. “We’re both adults. You’re a professional. The best social worker I’ve ever met. You can keep it separate.”

See... when he puts it that way, it sounds totally practical. I can’t think with him this close, but I can’t seem to push him away either. He’s tall and broody, so sexy that I can’t think.

I find myself leaning into him, my hand resting over his chest and the soft hoodie covering it. “Have you ever even been with a man?” I ask the question that’s been plaguing me since he asked if I was gay. I’ve held back, but I can’t seem to now.

Which means my brain is contemplating doing something very, very stupid.

“No.”

Okay, that’s the good answer. The safe answer. I press him back a little with my hand and look up at him. “See, that’s another rule I have. I can’t kiss a straight guy, or a guy who’s questioning things. I don’t want to get hurt again.”

He doesn’t say anything about his sexuality or him at all. No, his concern is for me. “Who hurt you?” His eyes have gone darker now. Even by just the streetlight, I can see it. The protectiveness washes over me, and I want to lean into it, but I force myself to stand straight. “I’ve been hurt plenty. By several people. I do this, Kellan. It’s sort of my thing.”