Page 52 of Only Temporary

“Anything,” he says easily.

“Come take a bath with me.”

I feel his chin on my head when he nods, and I don’t waste any time, pulling him to my bathroom. I run a warm bath and put in my best bubble bath before letting him sink into the water, leaning his head back against the curved edge. I slide into the bubbles with him, my back to his front as his large arms swallow me up and hold me close.

“Okay, you win.” His breath tickles my ear, and I close my eyes. “Bubble baths are nice.”

“You just needed your boyfriend with you,” I say with a sleepy smile, relaxing into him.

“You have no idea how true that is.” He holds onto me tighter, and I hold his arms, not wanting to let him go.

I’m more than happy to lean into this whole boyfriends concept.

TWENTY-THREE

“This is pretty cool. Thanks.” Okay, that was a whole sentence from Cason. I’m calling this Christmas a hit. I couldn’t afford a brand-new gaming system for the kids, but I did manage to get a refurbished one that was in really good condition.

They each got a couple of games and seem fairly pleased. I got some books for Kieran, toys for Braylen, art supplies for Rae, and Cason wound up with a gift card because that’s what he wanted most.

Tatum and my amazing boyfriend, Phillip, got them all a few things. I really like the sound ofboyfriend, I have to say. Not something I ever thought I’d have—but I’m enjoying it all the same.

There’s still a deep worry there though—that it can’t be real. That he’ll leave—everyone always leaves. That the kids will get too attached, and I’ll mess it all up. But thankfully, Phillip is pretty good at calming me down.

If the kids think it’s weird that Phillip is here on Christmas morning, they don’t say it, so I’m going to say they don’t find it weird at all. These kids hold nothing back. I kind of expected today to be gloomy—but somehow, it’s actually fun.

After presents, Phillip and I make breakfast before everyone spreads out and does their own thing for a bit. I want to drag Phillip to my bedroom, but of course I can’t, so I do my best to pay attention as he goes over the Christmas feast he’s preparing for a late lunch.

Which turns out to be delicious.

By the end of the day, we’re all totally worn out, and I want more than anything for my present to be getting to go home with Phillip—but I can’t leave the kids. We agreed we weren’t going to exchange physical gifts—spending our money on the kids instead, like an old married couple.

I can’t say that thought scares me either. It’s crazy—falling so hard and so fast—it hit me out of nowhere. The terrifying thought is that I’ll lose it. I don’t know how to hold onto a guy like Phillip, even if he assures me that can never happen.

I want to believe him. So damn badly.

* * *

By New Years Eve,I’m dying to see Phillip. I haven’t seen him since Christmas because he had to go out of town the day after for a conference, and he just got back today.

Tatum is here, and we made popcorn, watching the countdown, but no one seems really into it. No one really has that much of an attitude though, so again I’m calling it a win.

It’s been strange lately—how good everything has been, and honestly, I’m just waiting for the storm to roll in. There’s no way it’s not coming. For now though, the kids are home for winter break, and I’m just trying to sit back and enjoy.

But my mind is on Phillip all night. I want to kiss him at midnight, I realize, and when the kids give up on watching the ball drop and go to their rooms, I must look all kinds of pathetic.

Tatum nudges me with his arm in the side to get my attention. “What?”

“Go be with your man.”

I stare at him, my mouth gaping open. I know I didn’t just hear what I think I did. “What?”

He rolls his eyes at me and tosses a piece of popcorn at my face—which bounces off my cheek, and he laughs. “Do you really think you’ve been subtle? You’re totally fucking the social worker.”

I look over my shoulder quickly, checking to see if anyone is there. When I’m sure there isn’t, I hiss, “Keep it down. And how do you know that?”

His grin is cocky and annoying. “Oh please. I think I knew it before you did. But the way you two look at each other? Gaga.”

“Not gaga.” I try to act annoyed, but mostly I’m freaked-out. We’re obvious? Do the kids know? Shit. Shit. Shit.

---