Page 64 of Only Temporary

“When Kellan left, it was up to me. I kept Mom as safe as I could. I kept Raegan, Kieran, and Braylen safe, no matter what. No matter how many beatings I took, I didn’t care. It was my job to keep them all safe.”

That’s too much on a kid, but I don’t say that. He doesn’t want to hear that.

“I didn’t even think about the rules or fucking up our case with social services. I just saw red because I wasn’t there to keep Raegan safe, and then I heard Blake talking about her...” He shakes his head, and I feel bile creep into the back of my throat. I’m not even sure I could have stopped myself from doing something. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hit him, and I definitely didn’t mean to hit Liam. I was just so angry.”

My heart breaks for him. This is the most real Cason has ever been. “Listen to me. It’s going to be fine. It has to go into the report because the school could easily report it, but I promise you, I’ll make sure they know the whole story.” He doesn’t look so sure, but I’m confident this will just be a small blip. “Next time, you can’t settle it with your fists. I know how much your siblings mean to you.”

“Why are you so nice to us?”

His question takes me off guard, but I try not to show it. “I’m nice to everyone.”

“You sure about that?” I’m a little uneasy with the way he’s looking at me right now. Like he knows something, but I try not to give it away. We’re very careful around the kids. No way he knows anything.

“I’m sure,” I say and stand up, needing to get out of here. Cason has had to be good at reading people to navigate his world from a young age, and we’re getting closer to being able to tell all the kids the truth. The right way. “I have to go. But please stay out of trouble.”

“I will,” he says, his voice level and his mask slipping back into place.

* * *

“I’m goingto lose the kids.” It’s the first thing Kellan says when he walks into my apartment, and I can see in the time it took him to get the kids settled and Tatum to come and take over, his worry has multiplied.

“Come with me,” I say, taking his hand and leading him to my bathroom. This isn’t about sex, but I can’t help pressing a kiss to his mouth, taking my time to taste his sweet mouth.

The kiss lasts longer than I mean it to, but when he melts into me, relaxing for the moment—I just sink into it. I slowly remove his clothes and mine, taking in every second and every bit of his naked flesh. He’s hard, and so am I. But it really, truly isn’t about anything more than comfort for the time being.

I run us a bath and put lavender bubble bath into the water before he lowers himself into it, and I lie down against his front, letting his arms come around me.

“Kellan, you aren’t going to lose them. You’re a fantastic guardian to those kids. No one in the world loves them like you do and never could,” I say, letting my hand move through the bubbles, relaxing back into his big, strong body.

“Braylen had to get stitches.” His arms go tighter around my middle. “Raegan was attacked by her boyfriend.” I reach one hand up and let it drag over his forearm. “Kieran is being bullied, and Cason is getting suspended for fighting. No one is going to look at that and think I’m doing a good job.”

I hate that he sees it that way. “Braylen is a ball of energy, and he bounced right back. He’ll likely get hurt again, but not because he isn’t loved and taken care of.” I turn around in his arms and smile when he still holds me close, just wrapped around my back now. Water splashes over the side of the tub, but neither of us are too bothered by it. “Raegan is a strong girl, who can handle herself but doesn’t have to because she has plenty of people watching out for her. But she didn’t do anything wrong, and neither did you. You can’t control everything that happens to them, Kellan.”

“But I want to.”

I smile at that and cup his face in my hands. “Welcome to being a parent. Pretty sure that goes with the job.”

The right side of his mouth kicks up ever so slightly, but I know he’s still terrified. “Kieran will be okay. The school and you are now aware he’s being bullied, so everyone can and will watch out for him. Trust me, I’ll make sure. I plan to be a total menace to the school over the next few months at least.” Finally, I get a full smile now. “And Cason—” He sucks in a deep breath, probably assuming he’s going to be the deal breaker. “Cason has lived so much life in only fifteen years. It’s hard for him to step out of the caretaker role. He wants those kids to just be okay, and he doesn’t even realize he’s one of them.”

“I don’t know how to keep him in line. I thought I’d explained that he can’t hurt Blake. But I guess he didn’t get the memo.”

“He knew, but he snapped. It happens. He was defending his sister. It’ll go in my report.” I hold onto his face and look him directly in the eyes. “I’m not going to let you lose these kids. Ever. Trust me.”

“I trust you,” he says emphatically, and I lean in to kiss him hard, quickly losing the battle with my own brain when it says we should talk more because the time for talking is so over for the moment.

I grind against him as we kiss, needing him badly in the moment—although, it feels like I need him more and more every day.

“Bed.”

He nods against my mouth, and we climb out of the tub, quickly drying off but unable to keep our hands off each other. When we make it to my bed, I grab the lube and a condom before pulling his body on top of mine.

“You know, I was thinking...” I say breathlessly, my hand dragging over his back. “Since we love each other and all...”

“What?” he asks sounding confused, probably wondering why I’m still talking—honestly, same. But I have a point. He sucks on my neck, hitting a spot that makes me moan, low and deep, my entire body feeling on fire.

“Maybe we don’t need a condom.”

He pulls back at that, his hands resting on the bed beside my shoulders. “You want that?”

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