Page 8 of Only Temporary

Cason hates my guts. As he should.

It doesn’t surprise me that he already has a cold view of the world. No one we know has ever changed. Well, if they did change, they only got worse. He’s fifteen now and has grown a whole hell of a lot.

I still see the young, vulnerable kid there, but he’s been hardened by time around the edges. God knows how many times he had to clean up after our mother in the four years after I left. That was always my job. And. I. Left.

I sit next to Phillip in the van, while Cason sits in the way back as far away from me as he can get. He thinks I’m a fuckup. That’s all he can see me as, and I can’t blame him one bit. I did fuck up. Over and over.

We made a pact when we were younger. Raegan, him, and me. We promised we’d never be like Mom, and then I went and got hooked on anything I could find that would numb me a little bit.

Guilt soars through me, but I try my best not to show it. I don’t apologize because nothing I say is going to matter, and I don’t really want to be forgiven. I want to feel every ounce of their pain and maybe have a chance of taking some of it on myself.

We pull up to a little white house in the burbs—it looks nice from the outside, but I don’t trust it. Some of the nicest houses have dark, dirty secrets.

“Raegan?” I look over at Phillip, who nods his head in answer.

“This is the Connor family, an older couple who couldn’t have kids of their own. They’re one of my favorites.”

I hear Cason snort angrily. “I’m sure you’re an excellent judge of character. But go get my sister out of there.”

My eyes snap back to Cason, trying to tell him to cool it with the look, but he doesn’t care. He doesn’t respect me at all, just glares back at me with cold hatred.

Phillip doesn’t engage and instead opens his door. “You’re both welcome to come with me.”

“Fuck no,” Cason says and crosses his arms over his chest, and I sigh heavily, feeling his anguish from here—knowing the anger he’s using to mask his pain won’t do anything but eat him alive.

I climb out of the van and follow Phillip up the walk to the front door. “The Connors really are a nice family. Patient. Good people.”

I keep my lips pursed tight so I don’t say anything because I’ve been told that before by social workers—and it wound up haunting my goddamn dreams. Thankfully, he doesn’t push me and rings the doorbell.

An older woman answers, and even I have to admit she has kind eyes. But I still don’t trust it. Phillip seems to know her and she him. She’s friendly and warm to him and smiles sweetly at me before she invites us into her home.

It smells like cookies and cinnamon, and I don’t see a hint of dust on anything while we wait for Raegan to pack her things and come to us. Her eyes are wide when she approaches. “Kellan?”

I give a quick nod, my body stiff as I wait for her to ream me like Cason did, but she shocks the hell out of me when her thin arms wrap around my waist and she sobs into the hug. I stand there, frozen, for a moment, then awkwardly wrap my arms around her. “I’m here.”

She just sobs quietly, and I can feel Phillip’s eyes on us. But I don’t look at him. I can’t. My insides are too busy being slashed to pieces. The agony coming across in her sobs tells me everything.

The last four years have been utter hell.

“I’m here, Raegan,” I say again and smooth my hand over her soft, blonde hair.

“You left,” she says, her voice torn apart.

“I’m so sorry.”

She pushes away from me gently and wipes at her eyes with the tissue Mrs. Connor has supplied. Raegan thanks her and then gives her a big hug. I watch as the older woman whispers something into my sister’s ear, and Raegan nods her head and thanks her.

“I’ll tell Tom you said goodbye,” the woman says, and I’m assuming she’s talking about her husband.

Raegan actually smiles at that. “I can’t believe I’m going to miss out on his famous chili he promised.”

The woman looks a little teary-eyed. “This is good news though, sweetie.” She looks at me. “Your family will be together now.”

Raegan frowns at that but quickly tries to school her expression, clearly not wanting to disappoint the woman. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Take care.” Raegan nods and then grabs her bag before I can and exits the house. Phillip and I follow as she climbs into the back of the van. I see her squeeze the hell out of Cason—who thankfully, hugs her back, and I hear him tell her it’s going to be okay.

Good. They still had each other’s backs.