Page 26 of Burn It Down

And he should be able to do that. This is his house. “Look, if you need to get laid, that’s fine...” I glance over at Elijah, who still isn’t paying any attention, and then focus back on my brother. “Just maybe give me a heads-up, and I can take Elijah somewhere for the night.”

“Nah, I don’t want to disturb his life, man. Kid’s been through enough. I can keep my dick in my pants.”

I snort and fill a mug up for him before sliding it over to him. “Yeah, I don’t think that’s possible.”

He just grins, taking a sip. “I can try. Maybe I’ll get one of those relationship things!” he says with mock excitement.

“Right. I’m sure you’ll get right on that.”

My brother has never been the settle-down type. I’m not sure why because he really is a great guy. He loves people and socializing, but maybe that’s just it. He loves everyone too much. Total commitment-phobe, that one. As far as I know, he’s never tried monogamy and never really wanted to. I wanted it so bad, I couldn’t even stand it.

When Megan told me she was in love with me—I wanted to hold onto her forever and never let her go, no matter how flawed our relationship was. I just wanted love—real love. I was terrified of her leaving me, of losing her—and then she went and died on me.

I swallow the bitter coffee, trying to wash away the matching feelings. “Relationships are overrated.”

“Tell me about it.” He shakes his head. “Just ask Will.”

That gets my attention. “What do you mean?”

He shrugs. “Marriage is hell, man. I don’t know why anyone would do that shit.”

My eyes glance over toward Elijah, who’s bopping along with whatever music he’s listening to on his tablet, and then look at Bowen, surprised. “Really? They looked so happy at their wedding.” Though, I have seen Will quite a few times since bumping into him at the station, but never his wife. He’s brought the kids over a couple of times to hang out, but she never came with him.

He just shrugs. “Big party with lots of booze. Who wouldn’t look happy?”

I roll my eyes but smile. “Well, maybe they’ll work it out.”

He stands up, finishing off his coffee—which is impressive because it’s still pretty hot—before putting his mug in the sink. “Don’t know. She’s not a big fan of me anyway.”

“Bowen...” I laugh, amused. “You can’t wish for your best friend to end his marriage just so you can play with him more.”

He snorts a laugh and punches me in the shoulder as he passes by me, nearly spilling my coffee—the dick. “I’m gonna go shower. We should take the kid to the park or something. It’s a nice day.”

“Sure,” I say before he leaves the kitchen. And while I can’t wait for a day with my son, I can’t deny the fact that I’m also really excited about tonight, after I tuck him into bed.

“So your brotherhasn’t changed then?” Spencer asks just as he lines up a shot at the pool table and sinks the ball into the pocket effortlessly. I find myself staring at him for far too long—just like back in school.

I finally get my brain to work again. “I mean, he has, and he hasn’t.” He lines up his next shot and misses, so it’s my turn. “He’s really good with Elijah. Seriously... I never really saw that coming, but he loves the hell out of my kid.”

I miss when I notice Spencer’s bright smile as he takes in my words. I couldn’t give a fuck about missing the shot either. Not when he’s smiling like that. He takes a drink of his beer and then lines up to shoot next. “I could see that. He got a little defensive when he thought I implied he wasn’t a good caregiver.”

“He can be an ass.” I cringe. “I heard he may have called you a...”

“Nerd?” Spencer supplies, pulling his hand back and sinking another perfect shot before he glances up at me with those pretty eyes. He’s wearing contacts tonight—so no glasses—and I kind of wish he had his glasses on. Not to block his beautiful orbs or anything, but it just feels more like him. “He did. Kind of. I got the sense the word doesn’t really mean the same to him as it does to me.”

He sinks another ball, and I just settle my ass into a seat at the bar, taking a swig of beer as I watch him clean the table. “It really doesn’t. He’s just an idiot.”

He snorts and then hits the eight ball into the corner pocket and lays his pool cue down on the table, walking over to grab his own beer. “I’m picking up on that.”

We got here at almost the same time tonight. My heart beat like a motherfucker the entire way here because I was going to get to spend some time with him—alone.

I had a great day with Bowen and Elijah. We went to the park and then to an arcade, where we grabbed a shitty—really delicious dinner—and then headed home. After I tucked Elijah in, I tried my best to act casual about going out for a couple of hours. My brother just waved me off and out of the house.

I thought it would be awkward with Spencer, but it wasn’t. We’ve kind of easily fallen into this friendship. I ordered us some drinks, and he suggested we play a round of pool, and I told him about how my morning started and that I should feel sorry for being such a dick but wasn’t at all.

I start to overthink a little bit though as I finish my beer, remembering that he’s Elijah’s teacher. “Um, you know about the stranger in the house...”

“The half-naked one?” he asks playfully, so he apparently doesn’t seem bothered, but I do have to think about him being Elijah’s teacher. I can’t really think of him as only a friend.

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