Page 29 of Burn It Down

“Thank God he was there.”

Kade’s jaw is tight with tension, all the veins in his neck pulled tight, and he looks angry. “Yeah, because Megan wasn’t.”

I don’t understand, but I keep my mouth shut.

“Apparently, she was two floors up. She left Elijah in our apartment with the goddamn door unlocked. I don’t know if it was the first time—but I doubt it.” The fear he must have felt is clear on his face now, and I can’t blame him. It’s hard for me to blame her too though, not really knowing the extent of her mind’s hell at the time. “A fire broke out in the apartment next to the one she was in with a few people from the building—getting high. She passed out, apparently.”

“I’m so sorry, Kade,” I say and put my hand on his shoulder, unsure what else to say. I don’t think there’s anything I can say.

“I don’t want to hate her.” But that doesn’t mean part of him doesn’t. He doesn’t have to say it out loud though, and part of meis grateful he doesn’t. I don’t want him to carry that around with him.

“Addiction is tricky.”

“She never touched that shit before. She was adamant that she wouldn’t turn into her parents. That she would be so good for Elijah. I believed her, and then...” He stops himself and shakes his head.

“Depression is even trickier, Kade.” I squeeze his shoulder. “I didn’t know her well, but she was one of the few people who was nice to me in high school.” He looks at me like he’s caught off guard by that, and I smile, thinking about the pretty blonde with kind eyes—eyes that match Elijah’s. “She was a good person who made a bad mistake, but I don’t think she wanted anything bad to happen to your son.”

He looks stricken by that, and for a brief moment, I think he’s going to fall into my arms. And I would have welcomed him, but he doesn’t. He does reward me with that beautiful smile of his. “She loved him.”

I nod. “I know she did. I’m sorry you both lost her before she could find her way again.”

He studies me for a long moment and then nods quickly. “We should probably get you home. Might turn into a pumpkin.”

I snort but don’t fight him on it as we walk out of the park and toward my house again. “Really? ACinderellareference?”

“I have a kid,” he says, and I laugh at that, matching his pace but also not wanting to be at my house just yet. I don’t want tonight to end.

But of course, we do make it to my house, where we both just stand kind of awkwardly at my front door. “Do you want to come in?” I blurt out and then freak the hell out because what was I thinking?

He also looks freaked-out, so that’s just great.

But he doesn’t run away. He looks almost disappointed as he pulls out his phone to check the time, I think. “I would, but it’s not fair to leave Bowen on kid duty all night.”

I try not to think about all the things we could do with a whole night—and then kick myself because I know he didn’t mean that when he saidall night. My brain doesn’t seem to care about that at all though.

Kade is hot, and I’m a gay man—so sue me.

“Sorry I dumped all that on you though. Probably not the type of hangout you were thinking of when you agreed to it.”

Again, my brain starts to drift to all the things we could do all alone, hanging out in my house—but I finally gain control of my errant thoughts. “I liked it. I can’t imagine how hard it is for you to talk about Megan.”

His expression sobers slightly. “It is, but you’re pretty easy to talk to when you don’t hate my guts.”

I snort. “I didn’t hate you.” He cocks his head to the side and lifts his right brow. “Fine,” I relent. “I may have hated you a tiny bit, but I don’t now.” Not even a little bit. I’m starting to like him way, way too much.

Which should send me running—screaming.

But he smiles at me, making my insides flutter and go all hot, before he says, “So next weekend?”

My stupid head is nodding long before my brain can kick in and sayOh hell no, we can’t do that. “Yes.”

Everything inside me is screaming to lean into him, to brush my mouth over his and taste him for the first time—to embrace the fantasy. But thankfully, I come to my senses and take a step back away from him before I actually do that.

Friends.

We’re friends.

Kade is straight.

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