Page 32 of Burn It Down

“I know, Dad,” he says, already dismissing me, and I know he’s ready for this. He’s going to have fun. And honestly, as little as I trust my own mother, my aunt is someone I know I can trust with my son. She reminds me a lot of Tori, and I feel at ease—as much as I can.

She’ll protect him.

“We’ll be fine,” she says when I hug the hell out of Elijah and stand up again. She gives me a kind smile and then hugs me too. “Go have some fun. Or sleep. Lord knows parents can always use extra sleep.”

Sleep is the very last thing on my mind, but I manage to get out of there without saying it. I go home and take a quick shower, overthinking my outfit several times—which is so not like me.

I guess nothing is like the me I know these days. When I drive to the bar at the downtown square, I immediately see a lot of cars parked outside. My body runs hot and then cold, thinking about it being homecoming weekend.

The likelihood of knowing someone in there—someone from school and my childhood—is pretty great. Hell, running into my own mother is actually really, really probable. Homecoming is a celebration around here—a big party for current and former students—which has my mother written all over it.

Before I can overthink it too much, I do something totally stupid and reckless, hoping it pans out the way I want to and that I don’t wind up making things even more awkward with Spencer.

I drive to his house and hope like hell he hasn’t left yet.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

I’m just heading out the door when I smack right into Kade’s big body. My eyes widen when his strong hands land on my shoulders to steady me. He’s at my house.

He looks good—but Kade always looks good. Tonight, he’s wearing a tight pair of jeans and a red fire department hoodie. He’s wearing a black baseball cap over his head and has pulled the brim down low so I can barely see his eyes.

He looks nervous.Is he here to tell me we can’t keep hanging out?Of course I’d be disappointed by that, but maybe a little relieved too? Well, not really relieved, but I know I should be. We’re crossing a pretty serious boundary, and while it likely doesn’t mean anything to him—my own thoughts all week have been running rampant.

Thinking about what it would be like to kiss Kade. To do a hell of a lot more than kiss him. I’ve had to jerk off every day in the shower before work and every night before going to sleep, just to take the edge off. And it’s barely working.

So him being here at my door, all tall and sexy with his stupid baseball cap that makes him look way too much like he did in high school—basically a wet dream come to life right out of myadolescence—yeah... it’ll be better for me if he’s here to blow me off.

He drops his hands from my shoulders and then sticks them both into his jean pockets, looking a little dazed and lost as his big blue eyes meet mine. “Hey, I hope this is okay. I drove by the bar, and it looked packed.” His hands remain in his pockets, and he looks like he wants to be anywhere but here, shifting nervously on his feet. “I didn’t really feel like dealing with all that.”

Oh. My. God. He’s here at my house because he doesn’t want to meet at the bar but still wants to hang out.

Holy. Shit. New fantasy level unlocked.

I’m frozen stupid, unmoving and unspeaking, but I must do it for way too long because he removes his hands from his pocket to lift one to the back of his neck. The hoodie is too baggy for me to drool over that strong bicep flexing like I know it is right now.

“Or... we can totally go to the bar.”

“No,” I practically shout and then shrink back, mentally kicking myself and probably turning bright red. I try to play it off, but Kade is grinning at me knowingly. “We can hang out here. No problem.”

I step back enough to open the door for him to come inside my house, and I don’t know if I feel relief or sheer panic when he follows. The door clicks closed behind him, and I wish I thought this was a mistake—maybe way, way, way far in the back of my mind, I know it is—but I can’t seem to bring myself to care.

“Beer?” I ask, strolling toward the kitchen.

Kade nods, still standing near the front door, his eyes sweeping around the open concept of my home. “Yeah, thanks.”

“You can take a seat.” I gesture toward the couch as I go over to the fridge and grab two beers for us, twisting the caps off and tossing them into the trash before making my way to the couch just as he does.

I hand him one, and he takes it and immediately brings it to his lips. I swallow hard, my eyes fixed on the way his lips wrap around the bottle. This is probably not a good idea.

I force my knees to bend and sit down on the far end of the couch. “So the bar was packed, huh?” I’m an educated man. I swear it. I spend my day molding young minds and educating—but when I’m around him, I swear I sound like an idiot.

He smiles softly, nodding his head. “It was. I’m not big on crowds.” He takes another drink, and it takes everything in me to rip my eyes away from the way his throat works as he swallows.

“Yeah. I’m not really either. Never have been.” It’s still hard for me to think about how in high school I thought he wasMr. Social, but maybe my brain was just playing tricks on me. When I really, really think about it, he did seem kind of uncomfortable. He was polite and friendly, but now that I really think about it, I can remember him shifting awkwardly when all attention was on him—which was often.

“Do you ever see them there?” I look across the sofa to his face and see the worry there, and I know what he’s talking about.

“The guys who bullied me in high school?”

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