Page 38 of Burn It Down

“Kade...” I breathe, and without overthinking it, I climb onto his lap, straddling him, and grab his face in my hands to force him to look at me. Anything to make that dead look in his eyes disappear and show me signs of life. It’s like he’s looking right through me at first, but slowly he comes back to me.

“He reminded me of Elijah.”

I nod my head. “I know he did. But Elijah is safe. That child has a chance of being okay because you were there. You’re okay, Kade.” He starts to shake his head, but I hold him firm in my grip and lock eyes with him. “Elijah is safe,” I repeat because I know he needs to hear it.

“This shouldn’t do this to me.” His eyes are watering, and I want nothing more than to take his pain away. “I’ve been a firefighter for four years. I’ve seen death and pain more times than I can count. It’s shouldn’t hurt this bad just because it was a kid.”

I run my thumbs over the apples of his cheeks and look deep into his eyes because I can’t even begin to imagine how painful it was to see that boy trapped in the back of the car—bleeding and hurt. “You’re a father. Of course that hits you deeper. It has to.”

He shakes his head but just barely because I still have my hold on him. “We can’t do that. We can’t see them as people we know. We have to put that aside and do our job, or we couldmake mistakes. I, uh...” He’s quiet for a moment as I wait. “That day I fell...” He tries to look away, but I refuse to release him. “There was a boy who reminded me of Elijah. What if I got him hurt too? Or some of the other firefighters? All because I was distracted by how much he looked like my son.”

“You saved that boy?” I ask softly.

He nods. “I was able to get him to another firefighter right before I crashed through the floor.”

I hate thinking about how close this man has been to death—but I push it away to focus on the here and now. “You saved him.”

“But . . .”

“No,” I say firmly, moving in a little closer to him, dropping my hands from his face down to his firm chest. “You saved him. You saved that boy tonight, and you have nothing to feel guilty about.”

He takes too much upon himself, I’m starting to realize—and it makes sense. He’s a hero—a true one—not like one you see in movies. He wants to save the world, and he does—just one emergency at a time.

“I couldn’t stop thinking about what if it were Elijah.”

“And if it was, you’d want someone like you saving him, Kade. Trust me. You did your job. You’re incredible.” I kiss his cheek, and I mean for it to be just that, but when I pull back just a little and look at his face—I can see how much he wanted it to be more than that.

I did too.

I try not to overthink it again when I press my lips against his. I’ll just—make us both feel a little better. Just a couple of quick, sweet, reassuring kisses, but of course it quickly turns heated.

There’s no way to stop it once our lips connect and his hand goes to my hair. I kiss him back with fervor, my body on fire, and everything else just fades away. I let it without putting up a fight.

His hands roam over my back and down to my ass as we kiss. I can feel the heat of his hands through the fabric of my sweats and briefs as he squeezes my cheeks in his firm hands.

“Is this okay?” he asks against my mouth, and I don’t think. I just nod and slide my hands over his chest and then down his arms—cursing the fabric keeping his skin away from me.

“Are you on duty?”

He nods against my mouth, and I start to pull away because if he’s on duty, I’m sure he can’t stay long, but he holds me in place. With one hand in my hair and one on my back, he tugs me closer to him and slides his lips over my neck, sucking hard and making me squirm on his lap. “I walked here from the station. I needed some time. If there’s a big emergency, I’ll hear sirens or someone will call.” He pulls back enough to look up at me. “I need this, and yes, I’m sure. But if you want to stop, we can stop. No hard feelings.”

Ugh. Why does he have to be the perfect guy?

It’s not that I planned on never dating when I moved here. I just thought I’d be really careful about it and make sure it was really serious before I came out officially. But Kade—he makes me want to break all the rules without knowing a damn thing about what kind of future he sees.

“Take anything you need from me, Kade,” I breathe against his mouth and don’t give him a chance to say anything else. I dive into his mouth, not coming up for air. I kiss him until my lips feel numb and my dick feels like it’s going to burst out of my sweats.

He reaches behind me and lifts my shirt up, and I raise my hands to let him remove it completely without having to thinkabout it. Our mouths are only separated for a moment, but it still feels like too long.

My hands go to the suspenders on his shoulders, and I play with them, my hands sliding under them and feeling the stretch as my tongue duels with his, sweeping into his mouth and tasting him.

When I lower the suspenders off his arms, he reaches between us and lifts his shirt up and off his body, tossing it somewhere. He goes for my mouth again, but I hold him still, letting my hands touch his bare chest.

I marvel at the sight before me. He’s heavily muscled but not bulky. He has a tattoo over his heart—his son’s name in simple script. His arms I already knew had tattoos, but they go up fairly high. His veins pop out, and his muscles bulge, making me whimper at the sight, and I lean forward, letting my tongue drag over one of the particularly bulging veins.

He’s breathing heavy, and it’s a heady experience, knowing I’m making him lose control like that. That he wants me that badly.

I let my hands smooth over the light dusting of hair between his pecs and down his sides, seeing one tattoo he has there, vines and some sort of flower. It’s beautiful. His tattoos are a work of art. And his body is not just the canvas though—it’s part of the artwork, melded together with the ink and mouthwateringly perfect.

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