Page 44 of Burn It Down

It’s a good thing too, because I’m not letting go of his firm ass. I hold onto him as he starts to pulse, and he kisses me hard. He releases into the condom, hitting my prostate one last time, and I cry out, cum splashing my stomach and his, our bodies glued together.

He continues to stroke in and out of me slowly, milking every last drop of our release until neither of us can move, and he falls onto my body.

“Wow,” I say on a sort of shocked laugh.

“Yeah. Wow.” He chuckles into my neck. We’re sticky and covered in sweat and cum, but I don’t want to move. I just want him. “Can we shower together?” His voice is a sexy rasp in my ear, and yup, that woke me up.

I nod, and he pulls out of me carefully before getting rid of the condom, then reaching for my hand. I lead him into the bathroom to my shower—which thankfully fits us both because I can’t stop touching him and wanting to be right by him.

I’ve never been this clingy after sex before, but I guess that’s not at all surprising since everything is different with him. We take our time washing each other before we climb out, dicks both half hard, but neither paying that any mind as we dry off and then go back to my bed.

We climb under the covers, and I sidle up to him, letting my head rest on his shoulder when he wraps an arm around me. I know we need to have a really serious talk, and I also knowhe likely needs to leave soon, but I can’t bring myself to say anything.

I just lie there in his arms, feeling more content and safer than I ever have. Knowing damn well it could all come crashing to an end any moment now and not knowing how to hang onto it.

His hand strokes over my arm, and I can feel the awkwardness in the air. Both of us probably thinking about the same thing—how this can’t last. It’s Kade who opens his mouth first though. “You know, Elijah was hyper as fuck, thanks to your pudding and gummy worms yesterday.”

That’s not at all what I expected him to say, and I laugh, looking up at his face and seeing he’s not actually mad at all about me giving his kid so much sugar at the end of the day. But it breaks through the awkwardness too. “Hey, it was for science.”

“Suuure,” he laughs and hugs me closer to him. “I think you just have a sweet tooth and wanted an excuse.”

I chuckle. “Excuse you. I’m an adult, and if I want sugar, I’ll just get it.”

“Terrible influence,” he teases, and I lean up a little to kiss him softly. He kisses me back without any hesitation whatsoever before I pull back and lay my head on his shoulder again.

My mind and body are more relaxed now that he didn’t outright say he had to leave right away or tell me that this was a mistake. For someone who hasn’t ever been with a man, he sure jumped right in.

I waited for him to back out. To say it was too much too fast, but I should have known better with Kade. He’s so genuine and good. And brave. He just dove in and made me forget about all my own insecurities.

“Spence...” My entire body locks up tight at his quiet rumble. Okay, so maybe I spoke too soon. This is where he blows me off. I don’t want to look at him. I don’t want to acknowledgehim right now. Maybe I can pretend I’m asleep and hang onto this a little longer. “Spencer,” he says it again. “Look at me.”

I feel like I’m moving in slow-motion, but I do manage to tilt my head enough to look into his pretty blue eyes. “Yeah?”

He grips my chin with his hand, keeping my eyes on his. “I understand you can’t let anyone know about this. I get it. Completely. And I don’t blame you at all.”

Wait. What? He’s worried about me?

“I know it’s complicated and messy. I know I’m a father, and my first priority will always be with my son.”

“And it should,” I quickly add. I’d never want to hurt his relationship with his son in any way. Ever.

He smiles and keeps his hold on my chin. “I know you have to think about your job, and I want that for you. You should be able to date whoever you want, but I know that’s not really the world we live in.”

I shake my head slightly, but don’t pull out of his hold. “It sucks.”

“It does,” he agrees. “But I’ve never felt like this before, and I don’t want to lose it. We can keep it to ourselves. No one needs to know, but I’m not ready to let this go.”

I think about it for a moment because I’m not either—but it’s the unspoken part that kills me. He’s not ready to let it go now, and neither am I, but eventually, we’ll have to.

“Hey.” I realize my eyes aren’t on him and jerk my attention back to him. “I don’t ever want to let it go, but it’s not just my decision. Your job matters. My son matters. It’s complicated, more than it needs to be, but I want to find a way.”

“You want to be with me?” I ask dumbly, and he scoffs, smiling and shaking his head at me as he brings my mouth to his and kisses it.

“Yes. I want you. Can we just take it slow? See where it goes, and I promise you we’ll be careful when we aren’t tucked in here.”

I nod, in complete and total shock, my heart filling with hope because I want nothing more. “I want that. I want you too, Kade.”

His smile is blinding as he pulls back and then releases my chin, letting me snuggle into his side. “Good.”

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