Page 47 of Burn It Down

I think back to my teenage years. I hated my mother at that time. I just wanted to be a normal kid. One who didn’t need to clean up after his mother. One who could have friends over without his mom making an ass out of herself. But then I smile. “Megan didn’t care what the house looked like on the inside, and she actually got along with my mother.” I let out a sort of sad laugh. “Even got her to drink water.”

Spencer smiles.

“I was afraid I’d see her at homecoming,” I admit out loud, and he rolls off me, snuggling into my side but not leaving an inch of space between our bodies.

“At the bar?”

I nod. “Yeah. I can’t believe we didn’t see her when we were there, but I just had a feeling she’d be there on homecoming. Any excuse to get shitfaced.”

“When was the last time you saw her?” he asks quietly, his finger absently tracing the tattoo on my side.

A chill goes through me, thinking about that time, and I think he notices, but I don’t let him call back the question. “Elijah was just a baby. She showed up drunk at his first birthday party. Knocked over the table where we had the cake.”

My cheeks burn with embarrassment, thinking about that day. Tori tried her best to salvage the cake, but it was ruined. We had some friends there but not a lot. Even Joe showed up that day, and he looked sad for me.

I hated that look.

“I told her to leave and to stay away. I was so damn embarrassed.”

“You have nothing to be embarrassed about, but I understand. I’m so sorry. That must have been awful.”

“I just wanted my mom, you know? A real mom. Megan was struggling by then, really badly. I wanted a mom to hug me and tell me it would be okay. Maybe even step in and help a little. Not to raise Elijah—but help.”

He hugs me closer to him, and he nods against me. “I know, baby. I’m sorry. You deserved to have that.”

I smile at his endearment. “We should go shower.”

“My legs don’t work. You made them jelly.” I laugh and stand up, tossing the condom in the trash and then grabbing Spencer, pulling his body up and over my shoulder in a perfect fireman’s carry.

He laughs and wiggles. “I’m too heavy.”

I smack his bare ass and start walking toward the shower effortlessly. “Relax. I’m a professional.”

He cackles but doesn’t resist, and I carry him into the bathroom, turning on the shower before I place his feet on the ground. He pulls me in for a searing kiss before we climb under the shower spray.

It’s strange because talking about my mother usually puts me in a terrible mood, but for some reason, I only feel light and freein this moment. Enjoying him under the water as we soap up, laughing and kissing.

There’s no way in hell I’m ever going to let this go.

CHAPTER TWENTY

After a long shower, we both dry off and make our way back to my bed. I know it won’t be long before he has to go home, so I soak in every second I can with him.

I lie in his arms as he strokes my back softly, both of us just lost in the moment and quiet.

“Will you tell me about your parents?” His question is hesitant. And when I tense up at the subject, he slows the soft touches on my back but doesn’t stop them, as if he wants me to know he’s right here with me.

Like he knows it’s a difficult subject.

“They’re the typical Garnett residents, you know? Super religious. Conservative.”

His fingers are featherlight as they drag over my hip. “Mm-hmm.”

“They weren’t terrible parents or anything. They were actually pretty decent until...”

His fingers stop moving all together. “Until what?”

I can sense by his tone and the way he’s stopped touching me, he already knows, but I tell him anyway. “Until they started to think I was different.”

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