Page 54 of Burn It Down

I wish Spencer was here and can’t stop thinking about him at his place, having his quiet little Thanksgiving alone. My heart aches, thinking about us not doing this alone but together.

I really wanted that.

Dinner actually turnedout pretty well, if I do say so myself. I had an excellent little helper assisting me in the kitchen though. We managed to make deviled eggs, mashed potatoes, and candied yams to go along with the turkey—and I didn’t burn a damn thing.

I’m gonna call it a win.

I’m sitting with Elijah, watchingElfon television—a tradition we started when he was really little—with full bellies and what I hope end up being really good memories for him.

Elijah is looking a little sleepy, but I know he’s going to insist on watching until the very end, and honestly, I don’t mind one bit. I hug his little body to mine and soak in this time with him. Time I could have lost out on if we’d stayed in Kansas City.

I don’t regret being a firefighter. And maybe, if I wasn’t a dad, I’d have stayed there all the way until retirement, but I know I made the right decision moving here. I know this is where I’m supposed to be. And I know something could still happen to me, but somehow being here, I feel like he’ll be taken care of if something happens.

I can’t explain it, but there’s a sense of community here. Bowen is here. Spencer... I bring my hand up to my chest and rub absently over my heart, just thinking about him. I know he’d be there for my kid too.

There’s a gentle knock on the door which startles us both, and Elijah looks adorably annoyed. “Who is here?”

“I don’t know.” I release him and stand up from the couch, trying not to be too hopeful. “Uncle Bowen surely didn’t forget the key to his own house, right?”

Elijah giggles. “He coooould,” he sings, and I laugh, making my way toward the door.

But when I open the door, all the hope bubbles up to the surface because it’s not my brother—it’s Spencer. And he’s standing there with a pie in his hands, his coat and glasses on, and a scarf around his neck. In short, he looks fucking delicious.

“Spence.”

“Hi.” He looks nervous as he stands there.

I’m about to invite him in when I feel Elijah by my side. “Mr. Bell?”

Spencer looks down at Elijah with a wide, anxious smile. “Hey, Elijah. Um... your dad knew I was going to be alone for Thanksgiving and invited me for dinner.”

Not a lie. And when Spencer’s eyes meet mine, I know he’s relieved he didn’t have to lie to my son.

“But you missed dinner,” my son says, sounding exasperated.

Spencer looks back at him, with a more relaxed smile now. “Dang it. You’d think with me being a teacher, I’d be good at telling time.”

“That’s embarrassing,” Elijah snickers. “You’re even teaching us that now!”

Spencer chuckles. “I’ll practice over break, okay?” Elijah grins and nods. “I brought pie though.”

Elijah looks up at me excitedly. “Dad! You forgot the pie, and Mr. Bell brought some!”

I smile to myself because I absolutely did forget about pie, and my son was pretty disappointed by that fact. “It’s a Thanksgiving miracle,” I joke, while Elijah is still eyeing the pie.

“Can we have some?”

Spencer looks to me, and I nod my head, stepping back out of the doorway to give him more room to come in. “Come on in. You saved Thanksgiving.”

Spencer laughs and walks inside before Elijah practically rips the pie from his hands and heads toward the kitchen.

“Elijah, wait for us to cut it,” I yell after him but then turn to Spencer. “You came.”

He slowly unwraps the scarf from around his neck and has gone back to being apprehensive. “Is this okay? I should have sent you a text, but I was worried I’d chicken out.”

“More than okay. I’m so happy you’re here, Spencer.” His eyes shine with relief, and he lets out a puff of air before taking off his coat too. I take it and the scarf from him, hanging them on a hook by the door. “How did you know where I lived though?”

“Um...” His cheeks pinken a little and not just from the cold. His glasses have fogged over a bit from coming from the cold into the warm house, so he takes them off and cleans them with his shirt. “I may have seen Bowen’s truck parked here a lot and just assumed. I drive by here on the way to school.”

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