Page 56 of Burn It Down

He’s watching the television and doesn’t look at me, but I see his lips curve into a smile. “I’m crazy about you, Kade. You have to know that, but I guess...” He turns to look at me now. “I guess by the way I was acting, how could you? I needed you to know I’m just as into this as you are. I want it badly.”

I cup his cheek softly, trying to keep the contact brief, but it feels like the most impossible thing. “You have it. We can figure everything else out, okay?”

He nods and surprises me with a quick—way too quick—kiss on the lips, and I release him afterward, even though my body is screaming at me not to.

“No more pushing you away,” he vows.

And it hits me right in the chest because I know he means it, and the relief is instantaneous.

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

“Kade,” I say, trying to work through the sleep fog in my brain and my voice being dry. “Kade, your phone,” I croak.

I can feel his big body pressed against mine, and it hits me that we must have fallen asleep last night after Elijah went to bed. We really should have been more careful, but after the week without him—I was feeling a little clingy.

I can’t believe I almost lost him because of my own insecurities and fears. Elijah is a really big part of that too though. I wasn’t lying when I said I don’t want him to have to keep our secrets. I’m terrified of losing my job—or rather being forced out of my job—but at the end of the day, I know this is where I belong. With Kade by my side, I’m more willing to fight it if they do try anything.

Which means I’m going to have to get okay with facing the town knowing I’m gay. Because I’m not making him do that. And I’m not losing Kade—that is if Elijah is okay with us being together and if Kade wants that, of course. But I’m all-in.

“Kade.” I sit up straight and look over at him, seeing his head is leaning back against the back of the couch, and he’s slightly snoring. It’s not fair for someone to look so beautiful that deep insleep, but he does. I shake his shoulder slightly, and he startles, his eyes immediately going to me and then his mouth curving into a sexy, sleepy grin.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning. I should go before your son wakes up.” I can’t believe I fell asleep, and I’m shocked Elijah hasn’t been up yet. But looking out the window, it must still be pretty early because the sun hasn’t quite come up. “Your phone was ringing.” It’s stopped but starts again just when I say it.

“Oh.” Kade pulls his phone out of his pocket. When I see the stark fear on his face, my entire body reacts to it. He answers it quickly, “Will?”

I hold my breath as he talks on the phone, his worry apparent.

“Okay, I’ll be right there.” He hangs up the phone, looking deathly pale. “Bowen was hurt in a fire. I have to get to the hospital.”

I cover my mouth, trying to hide my worry. But I’m terrified for Bowen and Kade in this moment and don’t hide it well at all. “Is it bad?”

He moves slowly as he looks at me. “Will said he hit his head pretty hard and is unconscious. But he’s alive.”

“Jesus,” I breathe.

“I have to get Elijah.” He looks like he’s lost—uncertain what he should do. “Right? Fuck.” He pushes his hand through his hair and his eyes meet mine. “When I had my accident, he spent all day thinking I was dead. I need him to see that Bowen is alive. But what if it fucks him up more?”

He stands up slowly, and I follow. “Kade.” He stops and turns to look at me. “You’re Elijah’s father. You know what’s best for him. You aren’t a babysitter, and you know that kid. If you think he needs to go and see his uncle, then you’re probably right. ButI’m going with you, and if he needs to stay outside of the room, or needs a break, I’ll be there too.”

He looks about two seconds from breaking down, and I know then, it isn’t even a question. I’m going with him, and I’m going to help him get through this. I don’t really know if I can help lessen the trauma this will undoubtedly have on Elijah, but I think he’s right. Elijah is a smart kid—but he’s very visual and literal. If he sees his uncle alive and breathing for himself, I think it will help him process everything better.

“I’m going,” I say firmer this time.

He looks relieved, and it breaks my heart because I know he was questioning it. I know he thought there was a chance I wouldn’t go with him for fear of someone seeing me and knowing that we’re together, and that’s just plain unacceptable to me.

The man I love needs to know without any doubt that I’ll be there for him.

“Wake Elijah. Get ready, and I’m going to go start the car to warm it up for you both.” He nods his head solemnly, but before I can walk away, he grabs my arm and pulls me to him, pressing a soft kiss against my lips.

“Thank you.”

I smile and kiss his nose before he releases me, and I go out to the car. I don’t even think about anything else but getting Kade and Elijah to see Bowen. Soon, Kade is walking what looks like a very tired Elijah out to the car. He looks sad and a shell of himself in the moment—much like his father.

Elijah climbs in the back, and Kade gets in front before I start driving toward the hospital in Olathe, which is an hour drive. Both the Mitchell boys are quiet, Kade looking out the window silently as his son does the same.

It breaks my heart because I know Elijah has been through this before and was only just starting to recover from it.

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