Page 69 of Racing Hearts

Sierra sighed and laid her head on Ellie’s shoulder. “And I want you to know that I’m really trying to believe you, but it’s tough to ignore the voice in my head telling me otherwise.”

“Well, I hope this week together helps to silence that voice a little bit.”

“Me too.”

As the trip passed by way too quickly, Ellie wasn’t sure if it had eased Sierra’s worries at all, but she did know it had caused Ellie to fall even harder. There was nothing magical about this trip. It was very domestic. They spent every day much like the first. They woke up in bed together, drank coffee by the lake, spent most of the day switching between watching movies and talking, then ended their night under the stars. One night they even made love underneath them, and Ellie thought her heart might burst into a million tiny love-filled pieces. It took everything in her not to tell Sierra she loved her at that moment, but with Sierra’s clear hesitance, she didn’t want to push anything and scare her away.

On their last night of vacation, they laid under the stars together, neither of them saying a word for a very long time. Ellie was thinking about how much she didn’t want to leave, and she wondered if that’s where Sierra’s head was as well.

After close to an hour of silence, Sierra rolled onto her side to look over at Ellie. “I think I’m ready to tell people about us.”

It was as if Sierra had said the four-letter word Ellie had been holding inside with the way Ellie’s heart jumped in her chest. “Really? You’re sure you’re ready?”

“I am.” Sierra furrowed her eyebrows. “Are you not? Do you want to keep it a secret?”

Ellie grabbed Sierra’s hands. It was hard to understand why her making sure Sierra was ready would make Sierra think she was questioning it, but the trauma from her last relationship was still very much present. Ellie needed to keep reminding herself of that. Things she didn’t think twice about were the same things that kept Sierra up at night. “Of course I’m ready. I’ve been ready from the beginning. I do want to talk to Juniper first, of course. As my best friend, I think it’s important she hears it directly from me personally, rather than finding out at the same time as everyone else. It might take her a little bit to get used to it, but I have no doubt that she’ll come around when she sees how happy you make me.”

“Yeah, she’ll just have to get over the fact that she hates me.” Sierra squeezed her eyes shut, and Ellie worried she might start to cry.

“That’s not it,” Ellie reassured her. “I honestly think she’s over that. I just don’t think she’s going to be super happy that I’ve been lying to her.”

That was the one thing that made Ellie okay with continuing to keep this a secret. She knew Juniper was going to be pissed when she found out Ellie had been lying to her, and even though she knew she would have to deal with that eventually, she had no problem putting it off.

“I’m sorry you had to lie because of me,” Sierra said softly.

Ellie put a hand on Sierra’s cheek. “I’d do it all over again if I had to. You’re worth it.”

A relaxed grin took over Sierra’s face. “Thank you for saying that.” She looked back down at the blanket and picked at a loose thread. “When do you think you’ll tell Juniper?”

“How about tomorrow, right when we get back to school?” She lifted Sierra’s chin to force their eyes to meet.“Then, tomorrow night, I’ll take you on a date to celebrate no longer being in the closet.”

“That sounds perfect.”

And it would have been perfect if Ellie didn’t walk into her apartment the next day to find Juniper crying hysterically and completely inconsolable. Was this some weird déjà vu or had everything just come full circle to the first time Ellie had asked Sierra to dinner? At least now Sierra knew her well enough to understand if she had to cancel. At least, Ellie hoped that was the case.

Chapter 32

Sierra

Sierra couldn’t stop herself from skipping into her dorm room after returning to campus from her trip with Ellie. She was so happy she was pretty sure nothing could ruin the mood. That theory was about to be tested, though, since she walked into her room to find Teresa had already returned.

Teresa looked up from whatever she was doing on her phone, and the devilish look in her eyes told Sierra this wasn’t going to be one of those times they ignored each other and went on with their days. “How was your break? Was it hard being away from yourgirlfriend?”

Something about the way she said girlfriend made Sierra want to slap her. She said the word as if it was fake. Almost as if Sierra had made Ellie up to piss Teresa off. “No, it wasn’t hard, because I wasn’t away from her.” Sierra held her head high in the air. There was no way she was going to let Teresa get the best of her. “We went on a trip together. It was fantastic. Thanks for asking.”

Teresa scoffed. “I didn’t ask.”

“I know.” Sierra took off her shoes and hopped onto her bed, immediately relaxing against her pillows to prove to Teresa just how unbothered she was by her.

Teresa turned away from Sierra, and Sierra was hopeful that was the end of the conversation until Teresa shook her head and turned back around. “You know what? I don’t know what you’re trying to prove, but it can fucking stop right now.”

Her accusation made Sierra sit up straighter. What the hell was she even getting at? “I’m not trying to prove anything. I’m finally happy again, and you can’t handle that.”

“That’s not true at all. Why should I care if you’re happy or not? You mean nothing to me.”

Sierra would be lying if she said those words didn’t sting. As much as she tried not to care about Teresa, it still hurt that the person who used to be her everything saw her as nothing. Was that really the case, though? Sierra swore she could see something in Teresa’s eyes that told her it wasn’t. It was as if there was a small piece of the old Teresa sneaking through and Sierra swore she could see a pain in her eyes. She hated the fact that seeing that hurt just as much as hearing Teresa’s cold words. She shouldn’t still care about Teresa. Not after everything she had put her through. But at the same time, that’s what made her different from someone like Teresa. When she cared about someone, shereallycaredabout them, and that didn’t just go away overnight.

Sierra shook her head back at Teresa. “I don’t think that’s true. I think I do mean something to you, and that’s why you’re being so rude to me right now. If you didn’t care, you would just let it be.”

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