Page 74 of Racing Hearts

“Youpanicked?” Sienna sounded completely flabbergasted.

“Last week when I got back from spring break, Teresa gave me a long lecture about how no one would ever actually love me. Apparently, I’m easy to fall for, but not worth sticking around for.”

“And you listened to her? She’s a bitch who is jealous that you’re happy while she’s still living her miserable closeted life. You did exactly what she wanted you to do.”

“It wasn’t only that.” Sierra went on to tell her sister the story about how they were supposed to come clean about dating, but Ellie changed her mind for some unspoken reason. Even reciting the story made her feel dumb. In her heart, she knew Ellie hadn’t actually done anything wrong. The real problem was her gut reaction to the situation and the fact that she still felt like she couldn’t trust another person. That wasn’t Ellie’s fault.

“I’m trying to think of a nice way to put this, but I can’t, so I’m just going to say it. You’re a fucking idiot.”

Sierra rolled her eyes even though her sister couldn’t see her. “Wow. Thanks. Way to make me feel better.”This is why you called her, Sierra reminded herself.

“I’m just being honest with you. Ellie is cool and down to earth, and at Christmas it was so obvious you two were into each other, the rest of us were taking bets on when you were going to kiss.”

“That’s not true!”Is it? No, it couldn’t be.

“I guess you’ll never know. But, my point is, Ellie isn’t Teresa. She never was and she never will be. I understand why you got worried, but it sounds to me like Ellie is just being a good friend. If you were going through something shitty, you wouldn’t want me going around telling random people, would you?”

Sierrawasgoing through something shitty, and Sienna was right. If her sister shared this with someone else, it would kill her. “No. You’re right.”

“Good. Now that we’ve established that, we need to figure out how you’re going to get your girl back, because you don’t let someone like Ellie Finch get away.”

Sierra sighed. “That’s the problem. IwantEllie, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to give my heart away to someone again. I thought I was, but last weekend showed me that I’m probably not.”

“You might not think you’re ready to give your heart away, but here’s the thing—you already have.”

“I…” Sierra wanted to argue with her, but she couldn’t, because she knew Sienna was right.

“Do you love her?” Her question made Sierra lose her breath, and when she didn’t answer right away, Sienna spoke again. “And don’t bullshit me. I can see right through you. Or in this case, I guess hear right through you.”

“I think the right way to word that is you can hear the words I’m not saying.”Avoidance. Great tactic.

“Stop avoiding my question. Although, I must say, your lack of response already gave me the answer I was looking for.”

“Great. Then I guess I don’t need to say it.”Don’t make me say it.

Sienna chuckled. “You dug your own grave, sis. You’re not getting out of this one.”

“Fine.” Sierra took another deep breath and blew it out. “You’re right. I love her. I’m more in love with her than I ever was with Teresa, and that scares the shit out of me.”

“Love is supposed to be scary. If it wasn’t, it wouldn’t be worth it.”

Sierra rolled her eyes again. This wasnotthe kind of wisdom she needed right now. “You sound like a Hallmark card. Or mom.”

“Ew. You’re right. I’m sorry. What I meant to say is that you need to get your fucking shit together and figure out how to get your fucking girl back before you mess up the rest of your fucking life. Is that better?”

“A little harsh, but yes, I liked it.”

“Cool. Now, what’s the plan?”

If only Sierra knew that. “I have no idea. I need to figure something out, but I just need a little bit of time. I clearly need to sort my own shit out before I drag Ellie back into it.”

“Just don’t wait too long. A girl like Ellie isn’t going to wait around forever.”

“If it’s meant to be, she will.”Really, Sierra?She shook her head at herself.

Sienna snickered. “Now who sounds like a Hallmark card?”

“I know. That was terrible. I’m sorry.”

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