Page 101 of Sweet Shots

Oh, it was definitely what it looked like.

Your boyfriend was kissing that guy he fucked.

The one he won an award with. They’re both MAIF award winners.

And they were kissing right in front of your face.

Fuck!

Tears sting my eyes, and I scrub a hand over my face, sucking in a sharp breath. I look around, trying to figure out what to do. Where to go.

All of my things are at the hotel room because the limo dropped everything off for us after dropping us at the award ceremony venue. The only stuff I have with me are the clothes on my back, my wallet, and my phone. I have nothing else.Nothing.

I have to leave. That’s the only thing I can do right now, is leave. I can’t stay here, I can’t face him, I certainly can’t talk to him. There is no way I can do that. I don’t want to listen to his lies. He says he doesn’t lie, but how is he going to explain what happened? I saw it happen. I saw the whole thing. He reached for Trent, who was right in front of him, and he kissed him.

They were kissing! I saw them kissing, I know I did.

He’s just like everyone else. He’s no different than every other shitty person in my life. If I tried talking to him about this, he’d somehow make it seem like what I saw wasn’t true.

Don’t ever leave me. I… I fucking love you.

His words from earlier assault me, causing my throat to tighten.

I heard everything he said as we waited outside the bathroom. I remember each word. The pure happiness I felt was jarring, and I was sure I’d remember that moment forever—for the best reasons. Now I know those words are just going to haunt me.

With all the alcohol swimming in my veins, I didn’t know what to say in response, but I wanted to tell him I felt that same way. That even though thinking of moving in with him scares the crap out of me, I would do it because it’s him and I love him.

Maybe he was just saying all that because we’d been drinking, because he was in a good mood. But then he said that wasn’t true without me even bringing it up.

I’m not just saying it because I’ve been drinking and tonight is amazing. I fucking mean it.

Liar.

I love you, Mikah. I fucking love you, and I want to be with you.

Liar.

I should have known he wouldn’t change. People never change.

The amount of times my mother told me she was going to change and never did…

I always believed her. I believed her every single goddamn time she said it and all it did was make a fool out of me, and I regretted it every time. That’s exactly what’s happening now. I chose to believe that someone like Dominic would give up his lifestyle, would change for me, and look where it’s got me? I’m nothing but a pathetic fool once again.

I don’t want anyone else, just you.

Liar.

“Liar,” I growl, just as my phone vibrates in my pocket.

I know who it is before I pull it from my pocket. I let it go to voicemail.

I know what I need to do. It sucks, but I know what has to happen.

I refuse to spend my life the way I was before. I will not let my mind take control of me again. I finally got myself out of the dark hole I’d been living in, with a good amount of control over my thoughts and anxieties. There is finally some light in my life now, and I refuse to let Dominic ruin that for me, even if he is the one who brought me the light in the first place. He will not take it away from me.

I need to get away from this situation until I’m stable enough to process it, because if there’s anything that I learned, it’s that I’m too impulsive and I can’t think clearly when it comes to my emotions. When it comes to most things, honestly. Things affect me differently than other people. I’m triggered by so many things, and if I don’t take time to process them, I overreact.

No more of that.

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