Page 124 of Tobias

“Love you too, Marianne.”

We’ve all finished dinner and dessert, and we’re moving into the living room to have coffee. Everyone has had their time gushing over baby Leslie, who looks so different from the photos I first saw of her. She’s an adorable little baby with chubby cheeks and wild blonde hair. Our families having dinner together isn’t an uncommon thing, and I think if Marianne and Betty had younger sisters, my brothers would have been forced to marry them.

Betty and Lawrence are aware of what’s going on tonight. Marianne let them know well ahead of time, and they support us fully. Marianne’s parents do seem to be the more reasonable ones, so I guess it’s easy for her sister to understand the situation. My brothers are going to think I’m a fool but will be grateful that I fucked up so badly so they can take over the family business. Honestly? They can have it. I don’t care about it. I never have. I just want a loving family who accepts me for who I am. I don’t care about the money. At least, not all of it. Maybe 100k a year so I can live comfortably…

Everyone is chatting quietly while Gerta pours coffee and gets cream or milk or whatever it is they’re asking for. I decline, not needing caffeine that’ll put me more on edge. I keep shooting Marianne glances, and I can’t believe she’s as calm as she is.How isn’t she freaking out?I’m sweating.

After a few moments, once Gerta is gone, Marianne gives me the signal that she’s ready. She wipes her nose, but I shake my head and get up to go to the bathroom. I think I’m going to pass out. I can’t do this. Why did I think I could do this?

I splash water on my face and on the back of my neck, then stare at myself in the mirror. The bags under my eyes are huge, and I need some sun.

“You got this, Theo. You’ve got this. You’re doing it for Tobias.”

For Tobias. I’m doing it for him. For us. For the life that we are going to have together. Once this is done, I can move forward. One thing at a time.

I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. It’s now or never. With my chin held high, I go back into the living room. Marianne and Betty are both watching me. Betty looks slightly concerned while Marianne looks… nervous.Great. She was the rock here. She was the one holding me down and stopping me from freaking out. Now I have nothing. I give a small tilt of my head, letting her know I’m ready.

She gets up, smoothing down her pretty blue dress and taking my hand. We stand in the center of where the couches are placed, so we can see everyone and they can see us.

I clear my throat. “Everyone,” I say, waving my free hand. “Hey, hi.” I smile as everyone starts looking at me, the room getting quiet. “Hi,” I repeat. “Uh, Marianne and I have an announcement.” I try and fail at keeping my voice chipper. I sound like a boy going through puberty.

“Is everyone okay?” my mother asks, her hand on her chest, concern in her eyes.

“Oh yes,” Marianne says with a nod. She looks at me. “Everything is perfect.”

I stare at the crowd of people, sweat dripping down my neck. Speaking in front of a crowd is something I’ve done plenty of times. I’ve taken charge of meetings for our entire company. I’ve given lectures, trainings, all sorts of things. Public speaking isn’t the issue. Yet, standing here in this room full of ten people and a baby feels like the end of the world. It also sounds like the start of a bad joke, which my life has turned into, so I guess it’s fitting.

I feel Marianne squeezing my hand, but it isn’t enough to ground me this time. I’m panicking. My head is fuzzy, and my vision is going dark. I feel like I can’t breathe. Maybe if I have a heart attack, my family will take pity on me and not flip out about the news. The last time I felt this much panic was the night Tobias left.

You’re doing this for Tobias, I remind myself.For him.

“So, Theo and I have been thinking,” Marianne begins, giving me a wide-eyed look.

I blink a few times, meeting the gaze of my concerned parents and siblings.

“Yes,” I add. “We have been thinking. And have been discussing some things.”

“We have come to a decision.Together.”

“Together,” I say with a firm head nod. “It’s a mutual decision. Webothagreed on this.”

“It’s as much my idea as it is Theo’s, and it would mean more than anything to us if you all could give us your support.”

“We would,” I add, feeling a little better now that Marianne and I seem to be on the same page. Though, I do realize we are going around in circles.

Glancing at her, for the last bit of courage that I need, I turn to face everyone, seeing a supportive look from Betty. And with that, I say, “Marianne and I are calling off the wedding.”

That’s when all hell breaks loose.

My mother lets out a sound that could rival a dying cat while my father jumps to his feet. “You’rewhat?” he bellows.

There’s so much chatter and crying that I can’t think straight. Marianne holds onto my hand for dear life. I don’t think the jaws of life could pull us apart. I can’t tell if she’s scared or just trying to keep me from falling apart.

“Did he put you up to this?” my father shouts at Marianne.

“Don’t yell at her,” I say, pulling her closer to me.

That’s when I notice her parents are at her side, her mother with tears in her eyes and her father furious.

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