Page 21 of Tobias

“You need to do whatever it is you need to do to be happy.”Fuck, that was a mouthful.“Stop worrying about what people think. Don’t do this for anyone else. It’s your life, man. You’re in charge of your happiness.”

A slight frown falls over his lips, and his eyes get all sad. I hate having to ruin the night like this, but it’s important for him to know this. I feellike no one has ever said this sort of thing to him before. He’s probably been told his whole life to do as he’s told and not question anyone or anything. I don’t like that. Maybe I’ll never see this guy again, so I need to say this now. Maybe my words won’t be enough to make him change his life’s path, but maybe they will. Maybe they’ll stick with him. Just maybe my words are enough to make him choose happiness over misery.

Chapter Nine

Theodore

“Here you go, sir.” The waiter winks, for only me to see, as he fills up my glass of water. He’s young, possibly not even twenty-one. Natural dark red hair, pale skin with a dusting of freckles over his nose. He’s attractive, but not my type. Because apparently I have a type of man now.Fuck. Why the hell do I have a type?

“Hello, Theo?”

“What? Sorry.”

“What is with you?” Marianne asks, reaching for her wine. “You sleep okay last night?”

I pinch the bridge of my nose, glancing at the young waiter who walks away. I try really hard not to check him out, but I can’t help but take in the way his body is shaped. How tall he is. How bubbly his ass is.

“Not really, no.”

“You should have come over,” she says suggestively.

“I had an early meeting.”

“It’s never stopped you before.”

She’s right, it hasn’t, but ever since that date with Tobias, I’ve been distant. Not because I’m trying to call off the wedding, I’m just trying to figure things out. Being inside my head is confusing, and I wish my money could buy someone to sort it out for me. I don’t mean in the way of a therapist who I pay to talk to; I mean someone going into my brain and figuring it out for me.

“Are you mad at me or something?” I ask.

“No, of course not. You’re just… I don’t know. Different.”

“Maybe I’m getting sick.”

She nods understandingly. “Pick up some of those Vitamin C packets before you go home.”

“I’ll do that.”

My phone vibrates on the table, and I glance at it, hoping it’s an email.

It’s not.

Though, even if it were, it wouldn’t be fromhim, so I don’t know why I’m waiting for it.

Everything that happened between Tobias and me last week was normal for him. It’s what he does. It’s his job. Even if he seemed like he cared at some points in the night, he didn’t. He only cared enough to make $500 an hour worth it. And it worked, because he tricked the hell out of me. I can’t stop thinking about him.

It’s awful, and I’m pretty sure I’m going to rent him again and make myself look like a crazy person, but he mentioned having regular customers. Maybe I can be a regular customer?

After I drop Marianne back at her place, I drive around for a bit, needing to figure out what to do about my life. I’m more confused than ever. Which irritates me, considering I thought the date with Tobias would help. I guess it did, in some ways. It gave me clarity. But now that I have it, I don’t know what to do with it.

I don’t hate Marianne, but the more I think about it, the more I realize I can’t spend my life with her. Not if I want to be happy. But what will my life turn into if I call this wedding off? My parents aren’t the understanding type, and they’ll no doubt cut me off, fire me from my position in the company, and write me out of the will. It’s not that I can’t get by on my own, I’m sure there are options, but that’s a big mountain to get over… a very daunting mountain that I don’t think I could face alone. I’m not that strong. Sure, I have Asher and Morgan to lean on, and they’d probably let me stay with them and help me get on my feet, but… it’s just not that simple.

I drive around for an hour before I find myself idling outside of The Butterfly, wondering if I should go in. I feel like I can’t—like I shouldn’t. Like walking into that bar would be crossing a line. It's his friends and the place they hang out together. Renting Tobias again is one thing, almost normal, but showing up at this bar is weird.

What’s even more weird is how he brought me here in the first place. Is it because he trusts me? Or does he just not care? I don’t get it. Why introduce me to all these people, his friends, for nothing? Unless he thought I’d never come back. But why would he think that? I must not give off stalker vibes, which is a good thing, I guess.

I pull away from the curb and head across the city to the bar Morgan works at. I don’t know if Asher will be there, but Morgan certainly will be, since she works Sunday nights. When I get to the bar, I don’t want to go in. So, I sit in my car in the parking lot for far too long. I should go in. Talk to her. Have a beer. Do something to get my mind off everything I’m worried about, but I can’t get my legs to move. It’s stupid. All of this is pretty damn stupid.

A knock on my window startles me. There’s someone’s face in my passenger side window, so I roll it down and I’m met with Asher’s grin.

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