Page 51 of Tobias

“I don’t really know.”

“Do you work this weekend?”

“At Foxy’s yeah, but not at the rehab. I only work there Monday through Friday.”

“Wow, you got lucky with that one.”

I huff out a laugh, but it sounds pathetic. “Yeah…”

I never should have let Brandon manipulate me the way he did. Maybe if I was stronger then, I wouldn’t be so fucked up now. Because I honestly think if I didn’t have the memories of Brandon being such an asshole, I may actually want to date Theo. Or someone, I guess. Doesn’t have to just be Theo.

“Can I ask you something?” I say as we stop near a quiet corner. The wind picks up, and I pull my jacket a little tighter.

“Sure.”

“Are you going to tell your fiancée about all this?”

He takes a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “I want to. I’ve thought about it many times. Even before meeting you. It’s just… it’s a big thing, you know? Not just about me and who I am, but my decision affects a lot of people.”

“How so?”

“Well, for one, it’ll change Marianne’s life. What will her future be without our plan? Our families won’t be joined,and that’ll be an issue for our fathers. Our mothers would be devastated that there is no longer a wedding to plan.”

“Theo, do you even hear yourself?” He frowns at me, brow furrowing. “Would Marianne or your father or her father give you this same courtesy? Would they live a life unhappily just to keep you from suffering?”

“I—”

“I don’t think they would, because if so, you wouldn’t be here right now. They’d all make it known that your happiness is key.”

“They think I’m happy.”

“And what happens when you tell them you aren’t?”

I don’t know where this flare of anger came from, but I am angry. I’m so pissed off at this entire situation for him. The way people are? It’s ridiculous. They’re his family and they should accept him for who he is. The way my family did. Because even though they’re assholes now, my family was very supportive of who I am.

Theo stares at the ground, toeing a blade of grass that’s still somehow alive despite the cold.

“You don’t know what it’s like to be loved conditionally.” Now I’m frowning at him. “To only get love if you are a certain way or do certain things. It’s terrifying knowing that if I change, that love will go away.”

“That’s not real love and it’s certainly not worth being miserable for.”

He shakes his head. “I’m not miserable.”

“Well, you’re not happy.”

He looks up at me, giving me a sad smile. It hurts my fucking heart.

“I have nothing if I call off this wedding, Tobias. Nothing. I don’t know how to live on my own or without the financial support of my family.”

“You can learn,” I urge, stepping closer to him. Why this is suddenly so important to me, I don't know, but I feel it deep in my bones.

“Maybe. But what if that learning curve is too hard? What if I choose to be with someone they don’t approve of, and I’m struggling like hell just to survive, and that stress ruins my happiness? My relationship? What if I become so miserable because of all of it that everyone else leaves me too? What if I’m alone? What then?”

“Loving the right person won’t be like that.” My voice cracks, and I don’t know why. There is no reason for me to be so emotional over this situation. It’s not even my life.

“How will I know who that is?” he asks, his eyes boring into mine. They’re sparkling in the moonlight, the green much darker than normal.

“You just… have to take a risk. Hope for the best.”

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