Page 59 of Tobias

Will she though? I’m not so sure. Maybe.

I plan to tell her after the holidays. That’s my goal. Maybe I should wait to push Tobias into this until then, but I’m going crazy thinking about him. When I dream, it’s him I see fucking me. It’s his dick in my mouth. I wake up hard, sometimes covered in my own cum because the dreams are too real, and I can’t hold back. I need that for real.

Maybe taking this final step and being with him, with a man, will give me the courage I need to tell my family. It’ll make this whole thing easier once I see how perfect it all really is. I have an idea in my head of how it’ll be, but maybeI’m grasping at straws. Maybe I’m hoping it’ll be that good because my life is boring and vanilla. If this isn’t worth it, then what’s the point in destroying my family and Marianne? I need to try it first…

“You need to break up with her,” he says adamantly.

“I will.”

“When?”

“Right now.” I dig into my pocket for my phone, but Tobias stops me. It’s a good thing because I may have actually done it, and that would be the biggest disaster. Or maybe it would have been a blessing. I'll never know.

“You can’t do that to her. She deserves a conversation not a text.”

This is the sort of thing that has me crazy about this man. He is a good person. He’s standing there, hard as a rock, with me begging to suck his dick. He wants me to; I can see it in his eyes. Yet he won’t let me because of her. He respects her, me, himself… Tobias is a good man. Better than me.

My dick is tired of waiting and it’s making me crazy.

Tobias grabs my jaw, lifting my face so we're eye to eye.

“What happened to us just being friends?” he asks softly, but it’s almost like he’s asking himself.

This came out of nowhere. But it’s been building for so long… at least on my end. I know I've felt it from him too. I know it.

“I can’t stand just being friends with you. You’re…” I sigh. “I need more.”

“I don’t do relationships, Theo. We talked about this.”

“I’m not trying to marry you, Tobias. I just want to fuck a little.”

He grins, huffing out a laugh. “As long as you know what the expectations are. No falling in love with me.”

Impossible.

“I won’t.” And to make sure he really believes me, I add, “The last thing I need after a two-year engagement is another relationship.”

“Okay. We can discuss this… friends with benefits situation, after you break it off with your fiancée.”

I groan, but nod in approval. With his hand against my chest, he carefully pushes me back and looks down at the tent in my jeans.

“I can’t go out there like this,” I say.

He chuckles. “If you want to take care of that in that back stall over there, I won’t tell anyone.” Grinning, he slips out the door and I stand there for a long moment, willing my dick to get soft.

It doesn’t.

So, like the pathetic, drunk man that I am, I lock myself in the stall in the back, that’s darker than all the others because the light doesn’t reach it, spit into my palm, and jerk off until I’m coming into the toilet. It takes seconds, thanks to images in my head of Tobias watching.

When I’m finished, I wash my hands, check myself in themirror, then head back out to where everyone is at the table. Tobias gives me a knowing look when I sit down beside him. He leans in to whisper in my ear.

“The sooner you break it off with Marianne, the sooner I can help you with that next time.”

I bite my tongue, my dick stirring my pants. Fuck this thing, already. I’m tired of it being so active all the time.

“I need more tequila,” I mutter.

I get up and go to the bar to order another drink, hoping like hell I’ll drink so much my dick won’t work. Doubtful, but it’s worth a shot.

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