Page 77 of Tobias

“My mother knows I know. We never talked about it, but she put two and two together when I was so pissed at her after he died. My sister thinks I’m just a royal asshole who hates our mother for no reason. It’s not that I hate her, it’s just…”

“If she weren’t cheating on him, he never would have left angry.”

“Yeah…”

His face is full of pain for me. Hurt. All the things I feel every time I think about it.

“My sister also thinks he was on his way to the store to get me a new basketball, since he and I were supposed to do that.” I feel his gaze on me, but I keep mine on my hands. “Maybehe was. I’ll never know.” I look over at him. “I’m sorry if I’m over-sharing, I’ve never told anyone that before.”

“Hey, it’s okay.” He takes my hand, linking our fingers together. I stare down at our entwined hands, unable to form words or thoughts over how perfectly they fit together. How… right this all feels.

“The one guy I had a serious relationship with, Brandon, he cheated on me,” I then add, and have no idea why I’m spilling all of this to him. His fingers twitch, and I look up at him. “I hope you don’t think I was forcing you to leave Marianne for me or anything, but as you can see, cheating is just a hard line for me.”

“I get it,” he says, his voice raspy.

I hate killing the mood by giving him all my sad shit, but a small part of me feels lighter after sharing this with him. I trust him, in some ways. I’m not sure I will ever be able to trust someone completely, thanks to Brandon, but Theo is close.

“Thank you for listening,” I say, giving him a real smile this time. His is forced, and he nods, then goes back to the TV.

After a few moments, the tension in the room dwindles. He finds a movie to put on, and with our hands comfortably together, we rest back and watch it.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

Theodore

If ever there were a piece of shit that was the worst piece of shit, I’m worse than that. What the fuck am I doing with my life? Other than weaving a disaster of epic proportions, that is.

I’m over here mixing chemicals together, hoping nothing is going to kill me, all the while I’m making a scentless, deadly gas that’s about to explode in my face.

Fuck.

I yank open the door of the building my father owns. We do business on the top floor, while the others are rented to other companies. Most of our employees work remotely, so they don’t take up floor space. It’s a smart way to make profit. Of course, our company’s logo is front and center when you walk in.Celestiisin big bubbly sky-blue letters on the wall across from the main doors. A creative name that my father came up with well before he had any idea how to start his cloud-based storage company, but with a name and an infiniteamount of money, thanks to his parents being rich as hell, he had the means to get what he wanted.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Beaumont,” Tom, the security guard, says.

“Afternoon.”

Once on the elevator, stuffed shoulder-to-shoulder with people I don’t know, I swipe my card and hit the button for the top. I feel the stares, and bet they’re all wondering who I am. Only a select few have key cards that go up to the top. The car is empty when I reach the office, and I step off, more annoyed with myself than ever. I can’t even be excited about the good news my father has for me. Good news is always, well,good, but I don’t deserve to be happy, not with what I’m doing to Tobias.

And Marianne.

I had a whole plan that was perfect, until it wasn’t. Tobias opening himself up to me and sharing something he feels so strongly about was a moving point for us. A big step. One that could potentially lead to more than what we are, I think. This is exactly what I wanted, right? An olive branch that could extend into an actual relationship? Him trying a relationship so I could see if I can make that work?

I don’t want to be the guy who sleeps around for the rest of his life, but I also don’t want to be the guy who builds his life on lies. I’m doing that now, in too many ways. I’m lying to Tobias. I’m lying to Marianne. I’m lying to my family.Hell, I’m lying to myself. It seems the only person I’m being truthful to is Biscuit, that sweet girl.

The top floor is so quiet you could hear a pin drop. It’s large but not many people spend time up here. Those who do have their own offices and the doors are always closed. There is no reception because there are no visitors. If there are meetings, they use the bottom floor conference rooms. Truly, this floor is one step down from a ghost town at all times.

Before walking down the hall to my father’s office, I stop at the corner of the building, the one made of all glass with a breathtaking view of the city. You can see just about everything from here, but I prefer it at night when it looks like a sea of sparkling lights. It’s the perfect place to sit and think, and if there was no chance of my father catching me, I’d do it. It’s not that he’d be mad, but he’d ask too many questions that I won’t want to answer.

Though I came here because he invited me to hear his good news, I also came to tell him the truth. I can’t keep burying myself deeper. This whole thing starts with him. He’s the one I need to tell first. Yes, this will hurt Marianne the most, but telling my father is going to hurt me the most. I need to rip the band-aid off and deal with the repercussions. As long as I come out on the other end alive, I’ll be happy. Giving the skyline my back, I head down the hall to my father’s office and knock.

“Come in!” I find my father sitting at his desk when I push open the door, reading glasses perched on the end of his noseas he looks over a ledger. He glances up. “Glad you could make it. Have a seat.”

My palms get sweaty as I sit in the grey armchair in front of his desk. I was on a mission as I got here, certain my conscience couldn’t take the guilt of what I am doing to Tobias. Telling my father would be easy because it's more about business. That’s what I’d thought, but now that I’m here, in front of the man who could ruin my life, I’m worried…

Not necessarily having second thoughts, because Iamgoing to do this, but the fear hit me all of a sudden. Meaning, I better hurry up and get this over with.

“I’m glad you invited me. I need to talk to you about something too.”

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