Page 11 of An Island Promise

Laurie remained quiet for a moment, nursing her elderflower. ‘It depends on when and how things work out…’

Inside, Belle was screaming with frustration at their lack of enthusiasm, but she held her tongue. ‘I just think it will be good for us to all spend some proper time together because we so rarely do. Perhaps we could tentatively plan something for July.’

‘Yes, well, by then I’ll either be pregnant or disappointed.’

‘Oh God, I’m so sorry. And I didn’t want to upset you either, Gem.’ She felt as if she was walking a tightrope with them both. The music switched from the Ibiza dance tune to cheesy S Club 7 pop, but it was certainly less emotive. ‘I just thought you’d both jump at the chance and would be excited about a holiday together.’

‘Having a holiday without the kids would be amazing.’ Gem paused as if checking herself and Belle cringed on Laurie’s behalf. Her friends were polar opposites; one who was desperate for children, while the other couldn’t wait to get away from her nine- and four-year-old. Gem cleared her throat and continued. ‘But maybe we should go somewhere else. Is it really a good idea to return to the same place, to what? Try and recapture that time in our lives? We’re not twenty-one with no responsibilities any longer. At least I’m not. I would definitely love to go away, just somewhere different.’

‘I understand that, I really do,’ Belle said while focusing on the flickering light from the candle playing across her friends’ faces. ‘It’s just there’s another reason we should have a holiday in Ibiza, something I’ve been waiting to tell you all week. Two things actually.’ She took a deep breath. ‘Last month I handed my notice in at work, then at the beginning of this week I accepted a job out in Ibiza. I’m moving there next week, only for the summer season, but?—’

‘Are you shitting me?’ Gem shook her head.

Belle froze, hyper aware of the other guests, Gem’s outburst out of kilter with the genteel English setting of the courtyard with the soft tinkle of water from the fountain and the pink and white roses climbing the stone walls.

‘I know you keep your personal life off social media, but how could you not tell us about news this big!’ Gem looked at Belle incredulously, then at Laurie. ‘You didn’t know about this either?’

‘Not a clue.’ Laurie turned to Belle. ‘Why didn’t you tell us?’

‘I literally only found out about the position in Ibiza a few days ago, and as for quitting my job, I didn’t want you to talk me out of it.’

‘Because you know it’s a risk?’ Gem shook her head again. ‘I don’t understand. You’re absolutely killing it at work. Why throw it all away?’

‘I’m not throwing it away. I’m moving on to a slightly different role with new opportunities.’

Laurie frowned. ‘But you said it’s for the summer so only a temporary position?’

‘It is, but it allows me to focus on whatIwant to do. I couldn’t do that at Tockbeth Hall.’ Belle hated having to defend her decision, particularly when she’d already questioned it enough herself. ‘The truth is, I don’t want to work with Isaac any longer and life had just become so… vanilla.’

Gem snorted and her face darkened. She placed her glass on the table with a thump. ‘Yourlife is vanilla? Try being me. All I have is the same bloody routine day in, day out and it’s utterly soul destroying.’

‘I get it,’ Belle said gently while attempting to bury her dismay at Gem’s reaction.

‘No, you don’t.’ Gem’s face was stony, her lips pursed tight.

‘Fine, maybe it was the wrong choice of words. We’re all in different places in our lives, dealing with different things. WhatI’m doing is what I think is right for me right now. Obviously it’s hard to explain without sounding as if I’m moaning about my lot?—’

‘You’re not moaning,’ Laurie said firmly. ‘This is exciting news, you absolutely should be free to share it and not have to justify yourself.’

‘Hmm,’ Gem huffed.

‘Well, I’m thrilled for you.’ Laurie shot Gem a warning look and turned back to Belle. ‘Perhaps it’ll be a chance to reconnect with a certain Spanish someone.’

A rush of sadness enveloped Belle. She really had nothing to complain about and yet she couldn’t shake the feeling of discontentment, disappointment and failure that had slowly grown over the years. She continuously felt as if she was chasing something, never satisfied or completely happy, even when life seemed good.

Suddenly on the verge of tears and desperate to be on her own, she stood up. Not wanting them to see her cry, she paced away from the table, heading down the steps that led from the courtyard and into the Tudor knot garden with its neat box hedges and sculpted yew trees.

Laurie had hit a nerve with her ‘a certain Spanish someone’ comment. Ten years on, Belle was still holding on to an impossible dream, afraid of commitment and failing to move on from the perfect image she had of her ideal man – as unattainable as it was unrealistic. Maybe returning to the place where her last carefree memories were before the accident happened would be a mistake, but not facing up to things or reconciling her feelings about that intensely passionate week in Ibiza followed by a disastrous start in London had definitely been one.

The shadowed herbaceous border was packed with perennials and dotted with occasional solar lights that guidedthe way. The scent wasn’t as sweet as it had been during the day when a purple and cream carpet of flowers had attracted bees and butterflies in the sunshine – a joyful reminder of summer, which redirected her thoughts to their Ibiza holiday. Laurie’s words swirled in her head. Of course attempting to reconnect with Diego had been on her mind when she’d accepted the job. No man had lived up to him, and she was torn by the idea of revisiting a summer fling when she’d fantasised about it being so much more. It wasn’t the job in Ibiza she was worried about but the thought of going back somewhere and it not living up to expectations. Gem had been right about that.

Belle reached the stone steps that led to the lake. The blanket of darkness stopped her from going any further. The wedding photos had been taken here earlier in the day, but now the lake looked vast and dark with only the moonlight pooling on the glassy surface. Belle shivered and couldn’t help but think that swapping London for a summer in Ibiza would only be a good thing despite her reasons for escaping not being as straightforward as she was admitting.

Footsteps made her turn. Gem and Laurie were silhouetted by the inviting glow from the courtyard beyond the garden.

‘I’m sorry.’ Gem hugged her. ‘I am happy for you, it’s just my own shit I’m dealing with. I don’t think you realise how lucky you are and how good your life is. I was surprised, that’s all.’

‘Everything’s imploded since splitting up with Isaac and I’ve felt this desperate need to shake up my life and do something different. Like there’s this spotlight highlighting all the negatives. I imagine it’s similar to how you feel about being a mum and juggling that side of things with your plans?—’

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