Page 40 of An Island Promise

‘Do you know what our holiday gave me? Clarity. That I didn’t want to be with anyone but Ade. He didn’t try and talk me out of going on holiday with the two of you to Ibiza of all places. If he was worried I’d cheat on him, he never said, and when I got back he must have trusted me enough to think that I hadn’t and loved me enough to propose.’

‘He trusted you because he knew you would never do anything. You’re not Gem.’

‘I did think about it though.’

Belle turned and frowned at her friend. ‘What? Cheating on Ade?’

‘Briefly. I don’t mean cheating cheating. I considered kissing someone on our last night – before I got completely wasted.’

‘Well there’s no harm done in thinking about doing something. We’d have all been better off if Gem had only considered sleeping with Diego rather than actually having had sex with him.’

The sun-blasted sand was warm against the soles of Belle’s feet. She dug her toes deeper until she felt the cooler, damper grains. Laurie had always been the easy friend, the antidote to Gem’s fieriness, and Belle had never been more grateful for her ability to listen and comfort, as well as share her own truths.

‘Perhaps you should have gone after Gem.’ Belle clutched her bare legs and rested her chin on her knees. She stared out, mesmerised by the rhythmic lap and retreat of the waves.

‘Gem needs to calm down. I think some time to mull over things might be a good thing.’ She squeezed Belle’s hand. ‘I still can’t believe about her and Diego, though.’

‘I can. I mean, it doesn’t really surprise me if the opportunity arose – and it did. It’s absolutely something Gem would do. You saw what she was like flirting up a storm with every good-looking man. It was inevitable she’d cheat on Dan, it was just a case of who with. What I really don’t understand is how she and Dan managed to stay together so long when she was thinking about dumping himbeforeIbiza.’

‘She got pregnant, that’s why.’

‘No wonder she’s so blinking angry about everything if she’s been living a lie all this time.’

‘And I mouthed off to her about how lucky she was to have children.’ Laurie picked up a stone and rolled it between her fingers. ‘I’ve always been envious of her with two beautiful kids to love. I understand not everyone wants to be a mother and what a stressful struggle motherhood can beevenif it’s what you want, but it doesn’t stop me dreaming of that or being jealous. Life is just unfair at times.’

‘It’s the same way she looks at our freedom and envies us that. We all want what the other has instead of making the best of what we’ve got.’

‘That’s just human nature.’

‘Yep. But even though Gem wishes she had more freedom, she loves her kids, but her relationship with Dan has never been like yours and Ade’s. I’m not sure she’s ever been truly happy.’

‘Every time I’ve taken a pregnancy test and it’s been negative, it’s like a little part of me dies. The hope I started out with gets chipped away each time and that excitement and anticipationabout whether it’ll be this month we get good news turns to anxiety and the fear that it’ll never happen. And you’re right about there being other ways to start a family, but we’re not there yet. I’d do anything to have children, that’s why it hurts so bad when Gem complains and wishes she had her freedom or her pre-kids body back when I’d do anything to be in her position.’

‘Except you wouldn’t, Laurie. I know how important starting a family is to you, but do you understand how incredible it is to have found your soulmate? You have each other. You’ll get through this whatever the outcome.’

‘Maybe.’ Laurie chucked the stone back on the sand. ‘But I’m struggling to understand what our life would look like without children in the future.’

‘Families come in all different guises,’ Belle said softly. ‘And a family can just be two people as well. I know it’s not what you dreamt for yourselves but you and Ade are a family. And think of all the people who have extended families through godchildren or friendships that feel closer than blood relatives.’ Belle unclasped her hands and shifted on the sand to sit cross-legged facing Laurie. ‘Or there’re people like Caleb who have lost their soulmate completely, who are still grieving their loss nearly five years on; but his in-laws are still family. His best friend is like a surrogate sister. It’s not a traditional family by any means and I know it’s an example without children. I’m just hoping you can see that the connection you and Ade have is what most people crave. I’m certain Gem does and I know I do.’

‘So then, tell me the truth about Caleb.’ Laurie took Belle’s hands and held them in her lap. ‘Is there something between you?’

‘Honestly, I don’t know how I feel about him, apart from confused because my emotions are fighting each other. It all went wrong with Isaac to the extent I didn’t want to be aroundhim. It was stressful at work, and I don’t want to go down that road again.’

‘Does he treat you like an employee or a friend? Because from the way you’ve talked about him I’m guessing option two. And from his reaction about you and Diego, I doubt very much he would have reacted that way if he didn’t have feelings for you and wanted to be more than just friends.’ Laurie stood, brushed off the sand and held out her hand to pull Belle up. ‘And that’s coming from someone who knows what it’s like to have found my soulmate. Exactly as you pointed out.’

25

JULY 2013, TEN YEARS AGO

Laurie had been waiting at the bar to be served for what felt like an eternity. She’d been passed over and elbowed by a pushy group of women, fellow Brits who looked and sounded as if they were on a hen do, if their shrieks and matching pink T-shirts were anything to go by. They’d already been served despite her having been waiting longer. Gem wouldn’t have stood for it and would have mouthed off at them; perhaps Belle would have too, although she was sure, like Gem, Belle would have caught the bartender’s attention because she oozed confidence and looked like a goddess in a sparkly gold playsuit with her hair falling in beach-tousled waves.

Someone elbowed her again and she sighed at the thought of yet another person to fight with for the bartender’s attention.

‘Sorry, didn’t mean to jab you then.’ A deep voice with a gentle Irish lilt made her turn.

She looked into the smiling freckled face of a man around the same age as her and shrugged. ‘That’s okay.’

‘What can I get you?’

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