Page 54 of An Island Promise

Belle joined him when he was dishing up, back in her dress from the night before with her damp hair loose around her shoulders and a make-up free face, her natural beauty somehow even more enticing.

He took the plates over to the table in front of the windows where he’d laid out cutlery, orange juice and a cafetière of coffee.

She was quiet and he couldn’t read her, although that probably had a lot to do with them not having really talked this morning along with his reaction in the pool. There was something between them though, an energy, a connection that he’d felt before, but last night it had manifested into so much more.

Belle swallowed a mouthful of the eggs with chorizo, cooked potato and piquillo peppers. ‘This is delicious.’

‘One of my favourite breakfast dishes.’

‘I wasn’t sure you cooked.’

‘I do sometimes but it’s much nicer cooking for someone else.’ Aware of how flustered he felt around her, he poured the coffee into mugs and concentrated on his own plate of food.

‘Thank you for suggesting I stayed last night.’ Belle looked at him thoughtfully. ‘I’m glad you weren’t on your own all day yesterday. I can only imagine how challenging it was.’

Caleb took a mouthful of the eggs and considered how much he should share. The smoky paprika and the silky texture of the eggs combined with the sweetness of the peppers helped to ground him. Breakfast with Belle. Recently that had crossed hismind on more than one occasion, but he was glad they were eating together after only having spent the night talking.

‘Paloma’s always with me in some form or another,’ Caleb said slowly, picking up his coffee. ‘There are reminders everywhere and of course on days like yesterday the feelings are acute. But as time goes on, she’s not at the forefront of my mind like she was in those first couple of years. When I’m busy, so many other things take over and I get to the end of the day and realise I haven’t had the time to think about her. Perhaps it’s my head playing tricks making me think if I don’t focus on her I can believe that she’s still here waiting for me to get home. My subconscious torturing me.’

‘Do you dream about her?’ Belle asked.

‘I have two recurring dreams that often happen at times when I’m stressed or have a decision to make, when I’m worried about something. Or simply when I’m missing her. I dream about our wedding day but I always wake up just as I catch my first glimpse of her walking down the aisle. The dream never gets any further than that.’

‘And the other one?’

Caleb dug his fork into the scrambled eggs and stalled while he chewed. ‘The other dream is the last conversation we had and her last words to me. Words I’ve played over and over, committing them to memory and beating myself up about because she wanted me to promise something I wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep.’ Buttery light slanted through the windows and across the end of the table where Belle was sitting, making the golden strands of her hair glow. Caleb cleared his throat. ‘How about you? Do you have the nightmare about the accident often?’

‘Only occasionally, thankfully. They’ve lessened over the years but like you, it often comes back at times of stress or when I feel particularly emotional – and not necessarily in a bad way.They’ve just become a part of life and a way of processing things I guess.’

Caleb grunted. ‘You find a way to keep going else you’d simply give up. That’s not helpful for anyone. Over time the trauma lessens whether it’s the grief of losing someone you love or the shock of being involved in something traumatic.’ He sat forward, cupped his hands round his mug and stared out through the windows to the terrace, where the edge of the pool glistened in the sunshine. ‘It’s the emptiness that I’ve struggled with the most. The finality of loss. How incomprehensible it is that I’m never going to see her again, laugh with her or grow old together. Our story was cut short and it makes me wonder about what could have been.’

Belle slipped her hand over his and pulled him back. His gaze switched from the terrace to her blue eyes which were so open, warm and loving. She managed to convey so much without having to say a word. In that moment, her gentle compassionate touch meant everything.

It was late morning by the time Caleb drove Belle back to Spirit. When they said goodbye, he didn’t kiss her cheeks but held her tight, breathing in her freshly washed hair and the scent of cherry on her skin. He could feel her warmth and the rise and fall of her chest through the thin material of her dress, and it took all of his resolve to let go.

‘Thank you for coming over and for just being there.’ He’d thought he had to get through yesterday on his own when actually talking about Paloma and sharing his heartache with Belle had been helpful and meaningful. Her company was needed and wanted even if he hadn’t considered he could have it.

Belle nodded, her cheeks tightening a touch as she squeezed his hand.

Caleb watched her walk away and it wasn’t confusion he felt any longer. It wasn’t relief or sadness either. What he felt was something he’d only had brief snatches of over the last few years. Happy.

35

Back in her apartment, Belle swapped her dress for shorts and a top thrown over a bikini. If her head and heart had been twisted with conflicting emotions the evening before, then everything had been turned upside down this morning. She hadn’t trusted herself to say anything when Caleb had dropped her off. The idea that she was even entertaining the possibility of her and Caleb was tricky. Wasn’t getting involved with someone she worked with exactly what she’d sworn herself off?

But the way she felt when around him, she’d never felt anything like it, and that scared and thrilled her because it was more than just wanting to be with him physically. She’d seen the desire in his eyes in the pool and wondered if he’d been thinking about sleeping with her. And the way he’d shot out of there as if he’d been stung. She hadn’t intended to be provocative, but she’d been well aware of the impact that getting into the pool dressed in a white T-shirt would have. Although he was the one who’d suggested it. They were toying with each other, neither of them ready or willing to make a move for fear of what? It wasn’t rejection. Deep down she knew it was through fear of where itwould lead, what it would mean and the feelings that would be stirred.

Belle hadn’t heard from either Laurie or Gem since she’d messaged Laurie the night before. Their room was empty but the doors were open and she could hear them talking on the poolside deck.

She took a deep breath and joined them.

Gem glanced over her shoulder and lowered her sunglasses. ‘Ah, you’re back. Laurie said you spent the night with Caleb.’

Laurie, lying on the next beanbag lounger, shook her head. ‘That’s not what I said, Gem.’

Belle sat on the end of the third lounger. ‘I stayed in Caleb’s guest room and we talked a lot, that’s all. If his wife had lived, yesterday would have been his tenth wedding anniversary, so for you to insinuate that anything else happened…’ Belle shook her head at Gem.

There was no way she could put into words the emotions of the night before and the events of this morning without it sounding more than it was.

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