Page 56 of An Island Promise

‘She did seem off.’ Belle wandered to the edge of the terrace with Laurie. ‘Maybe she wanted to be alone?’

It was unlike Gem to go off without saying a word; if she was upset about something she’d let it show, as in-your-face with her negative feelings as her happiness was boisterous. Closing herself off concerned Belle, particularly when the recent revelations meant she’d been dealing with so much on her own. She had some mum friends and a couple of other old school friends in Norfolk, but did Gem actually talk to them? Belle was doubtful.

‘Over there, on the beach.’ Laurie pointed. ‘Is that her?’

Belle lifted her sunglasses and squinted, shading her eyes with her hand. Wearing a hot pink dress and with blonde hair tied up in a loose ponytail, it certainly looked like Gem, a hunched figure hugging her legs as she stared out to sea.

Belle sighed, knowing another emotional conversation was imminent. ‘I think so; why don’t you wait here and I’ll go talk to her.’

Laurie readily agreed. Belle didn’t blame her for being keen to escape any further drama. Gem was hard work at times and Laurie’s emotions were heightened, none of which was helped by the mess of hormones she was experiencing post-fertility treatment. Belle knew there was only so much Laurie could take of Gem moaning about her life, particularly her kids, even if she loved them more than anything in the world.

Belle reached Gem and sat in the sand next to her. Gem dropped her sunglasses over her eyes but not before Belle noticed she’d been crying.

‘Hey,’ Belle said softly. ‘You weren’t at the restaurant. We were worried about you. You okay?’

Gem glanced round. ‘Where’s Laurie?’

‘Getting us a table.’ Belle sat cross-legged, wishing she had a hat on in the unforgiving midday sun. ‘Do you want to talk?’

Gem’s arms tightened a fraction around her knees. Her pink dress was eye-catching and suited her perfectly, her manicured nails a paler bubble-gum pink. Her legs were smooth and tanned in a natural way though Belle knew it was from a bottle. On the outside she was the picture of perfection, but hidden truths were beginning to bubble over as if the cork was about to pop.

‘It was obvious you were upset when I got back, and I promise we don’t have to talk about Diego or Dan or anything else if you don’t want to. We can just sit and watch the?—’

‘I’m so fucking miserable, Belle.’ Gem’s words cut her off. ‘With everything. There’s nothing good in my life and the things that should be good, like the boys, just cause me stress through no fault of their own. It’s my own shit I need to deal with, but I don’t know what to do. Even here it’s like there’s a constant storm cloud over my head. I have this desperate need to enjoy myself, to make the most of time away from the kids, but it’s nothing like how it was ten years ago becauseeverythinghas changed. My life is nothing remotely like it was.’

Belle gently touched Gem’s arm. ‘But you just said yourself there are good things, like your boys.’

‘I love them but I didn’t plan to be a mum. It feels like life’s passing me by and I have nothing to show for it beyond Jack and Oscar.’ She glanced sideways at Belle. ‘But stuff that I’ve actually done. There’s nada.’

‘But Oscar will be going to school in September, so you’ll have a bit more time to focus on yourself and what you want to do.’

‘Do you know how hard it is to find a decent job that fits around school hours?’ She scrambled to her feet and wiped her glowing forehead with the back of her hand. ‘And with Dan gone I’ll have even less support.’

‘What about your parents?’ Belle got to her feet too and scurried after Gem as she strode off down the beach away from Spirit.

‘They already help enough as it is. I was beginning to focus on how I could go about getting my interior design business up and running, fitting it in around the kids and part-time work, when Dan walked out.’

‘It’s only been a few months, Gem. Your life’s been turned upside down and you’ve been dealing with this all by yourself. I presume your parents know?’

‘Oh yes, they’re as disappointed in me as I expected.’

Belle frowned. ‘Your parents are the most supportive parents ever. There’s no way they feel like that about you. Sad because your relationship with Dan has broken down but not disappointed. Do you not think you’re projecting your own disappointment onto them?’

‘Yeah well, I feel utterly shit about myself so I wouldn’t be surprised.’ They reached the end of the beach where the mouth of the river met the sea. The bar on the corner was packed with people eating and drinking, the tables and chairs spillingout onto the sand. Gem paced past and onto the path that ran alongside the river, her fists clenched tightly, her knuckles white. ‘I had a plan and put pressure on myself to start working towards my dream then Dan goes and has an affair. He not only ended our relationship, but he also destroyed my ability to get myself out of the godawful situation I’m in.’

‘But you weren’t happy with Dan.’ Belle had to up her pace to catch up with Gem. ‘I know the timing sucks and maybe it’s not what you thought you wanted, at least while Oscar is still so young, but it’s done now and there’s a freedom that comes with that. A chance to start afresh however hard it is. You deserve to be happy, Gem.’

‘Being a single mum, trying to start a business, trying to keep the kids alive while focusing on myself – it’s utterly overwhelming.’

‘Okay, so forget about the big picture; why don’t we just focus on here and now. This week. We’ve got two days left together. What do you want to do? How can we make you feel better?’

‘I don’t know, that’s part of the problem. I’m wound up tight in here.’ She shoved her fist into the centre of her chest.

Belle didn’t know if it was a good idea or not to suggest it, but the worst that would happen would be for Gem to shoot her down. ‘You could always have a fling; help you move on from Dan. Make you feel better about yourself.’

Gem snorted and picked up the pace. The Río de Santa Eulalia to their left glinted in the sunlight. ‘That used to be my go-to fix but I’m older and wiser now and believe it or not, sex with some random stranger is not going to make me feel any better even for one night.’

‘What if it doesn’t have to be a stranger? What if it’s with someone you already know… Why don’t you talk to Diego?’

---