Page 58 of An Island Promise

The future Belle could have had flashed through her mind. What if it had been her who’d not been careful with Diego? How would she have felt about being pregnant? Would she have tried to contact him then? How different would her life have been? She might not have moved to London, wouldn’t have had the accident. But then everything would have been different. The thought of being stuck in Norfolk relying on her parents filled her with horror; even the accident hadn’t forced her back. Dealing with the aftermath on her own in London had been preferable. Nope, she didn’t want Gem’s life, because after a challenging start, hers had worked out all right. She never gave herself credit for all she’d achieved. Plus she was back here, doing what she wanted, taking chances and moving on. And she’d met Caleb. Even thinking of him now filled her with hope and excitement and longing.

‘Gem, it’s fine to talk about this. Diego is ancient history, just a notch on my bedpost like I was for him, but for you he means something monumental and that’s a whole different thing. You obviously exchanged more details with him than I did, so why didn’t you tell him when you found out you were pregnant?’

‘I did contemplate telling him, but what the hell was he going to do from Ibiza? I knew exactly what his lifestyle was like; why would he have cared?’ Gem took a shuddery breath and started walking back the way they’d come towards where the river merged with the sea, its dependable rhythm soothing as it lapped the sand. ‘Would he even have believed me? I went for the easy, safe option and let Dan assume it was his. I might have even convinced myself it was his.’ She shrugged. ‘What happened in Ibiza stayed in Ibiza, right? I was pregnant, scared shitless, forced to cut my backpacking trip short. I honestlydidn’t know what the hell to do, but Dan was there. He stepped up when he didn’t have to.’

‘You were a couple, Gem, and if you gave him no indication Jack wasn’t his…’ Belle trailed off, a lump in her throat. ‘Do you think he suspects?’

‘Jack and Oscar look nothing like each other.’

‘But Jack looks like you.’ Could Belle see any of Diego in Gem’s eldest? He definitely had Gem’s features, but with olive-toned skin and darker hair, so maybe.

‘One of the main problems was we didn’t talk to each other,’ Gem continued as they reached the beach again and strolled onto the sand. ‘At least not about important stuff, so if he had a suspicion he kept it to himself. We only stayed together because of Jack. Remember, after Ibiza I had every intention of finishing with him. I should have done that before I went travelling with Cerys, but I didn’t want the hassle of a breakup while life was so fucking good.’

‘But there must have been something more between you two because you had Oscar as well. I assume he’s?—’

‘Yes, 100 per cent he’s Dan’s.’ Gem’s eyes flashed with defiance as she kicked at the sand. ‘I did love Dan in my own way. He stuck by me after Jack was born and that was admirable, and I was so overwhelmed that I wanted to make things work with him. I’d compromised so much by then and honestly life wasn’t awful, it just wasn’t what I’d hoped for. Naively I thought completing our family would help, I don’t know, bring us closer together, but he obviously had other ideas. I mean, we were so bloody young. I didn’t want to settle down and have kids and neither did he, it was just as we got older it was a hell of a lot easier for him to have an affair than for me to have one – not that I was contemplating that in the slightest.’ Coming to a stop, she sighed and planted her feet in the sand with her hands on her hips. Spirit was in view, its white wallsgleaming, the restaurant tables and the sun loungers on the beach filled with guests. ‘But none of this is helping me right now because I didn’t expect to be in this situation here on Ibiza with the chance of seeing Diego again. So, what should I do? Should I tell him or not?’ She looked imploringly at Belle.

‘I guess my question is what’s your reason for wanting to tell him? For financial support?’

‘No, nothing like that,’ Gem said vehemently. ‘I keep thinking if I was in his shoes, I would want to know. I also wish I’d had the guts to say something ten years ago, but I can’t change that.’

‘But you can make up for it now.’

Gem pursed her lips. ‘You moving to Ibiza and the connection you have to Caleb putting you back in contact with Diego, it feels like a second chance to make things right.’

‘Then why didn’t you talk to him at Ushuaïa? Laurie said you were avoiding him.’

‘Because I didn’t know what to say and I was scared of blurting out something I’d regret.’

‘But what do you have to lose by telling him? He has a right to know, and isn’t there a chance that he might be open to doing a DNA test?’

‘He doesn’t need to for me to know. I got a paternity test done and Dan’s not Jack’s biological father. That’s why I’m so sure.’

‘Oh my God, Gem.’ Belle put her arms around her then pulled back. ‘Wait, so how on earth does Dan not know?’

‘I managed to swab the inside of his cheek when he’d fallen asleep after being out drinking one night, so I did it without him knowing.’

‘Surely that’s?—’

‘Illegal. Yep.’ Gem ran her fingers across her forehead. ‘I shouldn’t have done it; and I definitely should have been honest with him, but the not knowing… My God, it’s eaten away at me for years.’

‘And there was no one else?’

‘No, no one, just Dan and Diego, so that means…’ She shrugged and Belle felt her shudder. ‘I got the DNA test done not long after Oscar was born when Jack was young enough for me to pass off swabbing his cheek for a different reason. I’ve sat on the truth for four years because why say anything when I was never going to see Diego again? Until now. You’re the only person I’ve told. The truth would turn Jack’s world upside down when he’s already struggling with the breakup.’

‘And unless you come clean with Dan there’s not a lot you can do.’ Belle gazed out at the perfect view of blue sea and sky. ‘You need to put this right for everyone’s sake, Gem. For your sanity.’

‘I’m worried about putting Jack through more emotional upheaval and what everyone will think. Dan especially. I’m worried it’ll change how he feels about Jack.’

‘Even if you weren’t right for each other, Dan’s a decent guy. Do you honestly think he wouldn’t love Jack just as much? He might feel betrayed, but he’s still Jack’s dad and will always be part of his life. Keeping this to yourself will eat away at you more than it already is and being here now is an opportunity you shouldn’t ignore.’ Belle hooked her arm in Gem’s and they started walking up the beach towards Spirit. ‘Don’t beat yourself up about what’s done. We’ve all made mistakes. I’m beginning to learn it’s best to talk and get things out in the open even if it’s hard. You’ve talked to me, now all you need to do is the same with Diego.’ Her earlier thought about leading the way by being open and truthful with Laurie and Gem returned. ‘Also, the reason I’m no longer hung up on Diego is because there’s someone else I like a hell of a lot more.’

‘Caleb,’ Gem said with a glimmer of a smile as they reached the wooden steps that led from the beach to Spirit’s restaurant terrace. ‘Like that wasn’t obvious.’

‘So, how about I have a chat with Caleb and see how we can sort out this messy situation with Diego.’

That evening after Gem had caught Laurie up on the news about Diego actually being Jack’s dad, Belle took them for a meal at Serenity, firstly because she wanted to show off the place and secondly because she knew Caleb would be there so she’d have the chance to talk to him.

If having a heart-to-heart with Caleb the evening before hadn’t blurred the line between him being her boss or a friend, then broaching the subject about her best friend’s son being his former brother-in-law’s would do the trick.

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