Page 69 of An Island Promise

Now, three months after losing her, Solace was even emptier, its peace and beauty lost on him. He went through the motions of daily life, dragging himself out of bed, pummelling himself awake in a scalding hot shower because he wanted to feel something other than hurt or anger or sorrow or grief. Something other than totally and utterly bereft.

The winter months on Ibiza were hard with the hotel closed between November and March. Only the restaurant at Spirit remained open. It used to be a time he and Paloma loved, a time to reflect and recuperate, to travel and make plans. The first winter without her was even harder. He still had work, ideas brewing and things to do, but everything was an effort andnothing brought him joy any longer. Cara kept his spirits up as best she could. She seemed to understand when he needed a friend and wanted to talk, and she’d sometimes crash in one of the guest rooms so he wouldn’t be alone in the morning.

One clear, cold night in January, when the ebony sky was scattered with silver stars, Caleb needed a friend more than ever. Cara brought out drinks and blankets to the terrace and he followed her lead, taking off his trainers and socks, rolling up his jeans and plunging his feet into the pool. Even though the water was heated, it still felt cool against his skin and refreshing.

Cara popped the cap off a bottle of beer and handed it to him. He’d had a particularly bad day when everything had felt like it was going wrong, although nothing really had. He’d taken his anger and frustration out on one of the waiting staff, which had made him feel even worse about everything.

‘Thank you for not hating me.’

‘Oh for fuck’s sake, Caleb. You woke up feeling awful, had a shitty day and took it out on someone who didn’t deserve it. Everyone understands why it happened and knows that’s not who you are. No one’s thinking badly of you, least of all me.’ Cara pulled the blanket up to their waists. ‘I understand you’re upset; hell, I’d be mad at the world too if I was in your shoes, but you’ve got to think of the positives.’ She draped her arm across his shoulder. ‘You and Paloma had the best relationship. I saw that; everyone around you saw that and is heartbroken for her as much as for you. For the life you two should have had.’

‘You’re not helping, Cara.’

‘I’m getting to the point, I promise.’ She squeezed his shoulder and put her hand in her lap. ‘Although you didn’t have anywhere near as long as you were hoping for with Paloma, what time you had together was what some people can long for the whole of their lives and never find.’

‘And that makes me lucky?’

‘It makes you luckier than you’ll ever know, but it also makes the hurt all the more awful.’ She kicked her feet out and Caleb watched the ripples spread across the pool, dark and cool, so different to summer when the water sparkled enticingly.

Summer in Ibiza. He’d always loved that the most: the heat, the people, the parties, the atmosphere, the vibrancy, just everything, but it had been Paloma who’d opened his eyes to the chilled-out winter months where he could take stock and make the most of what he’d achieved.

‘And none of this is fair,’ Cara went on. ‘You were with someone you loved with all your heart and Paloma was all that’s good in this world, while I was in a relationship that I was desperate to get out of with someone who treated me and the world like their own private punchbag. My ex got a restraining order and got lucky winning fifty grand on the lottery, while Paloma got cancer. Life fucking sucks and can do one most of the time, but I’m a good person, you’re a good person. I can continue hating my ex although it won’t help anything and you can continue to love Paloma, but we will both heal and find a way to move on. Even learn to love again.’

Too choked up to say anything, he took her hand and held it on the blanket in his lap. He gazed out at the view he’d shared too few times with Paloma. He was grateful to be sharing it with Cara now, although he didn’t understand how he’d ever find it in his heart to be happy to share it with someone else the way he had with his wife.

He had so much support, from friends both on the island and elsewhere. Paloma’s family needed him as much as he did them, but it had been Cara who was his rock, who he knew he could talk to and lean on whatever time of day. She comforted him but also told him the truth and that was what he loved most about her. She wasn’t afraid to kick him up the bum when he needed it. A month after losing Paloma and on the second day he hadn’tmade an appearance at Spirit, Cara had come round and found him in bed, the sheets wrapped round him, his pillow soaked with tears and sweat. She’d made him coffee, untangled the sheets and held him as he sobbed. Then, in no uncertain terms, she’d told him he stank and marched him into the shower. He couldn’t remember getting undressed or how he even managed to wash. He had a vague recollection of Cara washing his hair and muttering something along the lines of ‘you owe me big time for this’. And he did; she’d been the greatest friend, the person who told him hard truths and didn’t shy away from an uncomfortable conversation or situation.

‘Don’t think too hard about the future,’ Cara said uncharacteristically gently. ‘Just take it day by day and be open to the possibility of happiness.’

‘That’s what Paloma said.’

‘She was a wise woman.’ Cara nudged him. ‘Which kinda makes me wise too, don’t you think?’

44

AUGUST 2023, PRESENT DAY

After dropping Belle off at Spirit, Caleb returned to Solace. He’d intended to work, but he found himself pacing up and down the sun-blasted terrace, unable to focus on anything apart from Belle and the image of her lying next to him, her hair golden on the pillow. He was desperate to tell someone, to talk through his feelings, to make sense of his emotions and to calm his racing heart. He didn’t want to confide in Diego and he couldn’t talk to Maria, not about something so intimate, however relieved she’d be that he’d found someone.

Shit. Had he found someone?

Cara was the only person he wanted to talk to.

Still pacing, he video called her.

Bleary eyed, Cara’s face appeared on the screen. ‘Hey, is everything okay?’ She yawned.

‘Oh shit, Cara,’ Caleb said as he headed inside to see her more clearly. ‘I totally forgot the time difference. I can call later once you’re up.’

‘No, it’s okay. I’m awake now.’ She flung a cover off. ‘Just going to go into another room so I don’t wake Naomi.’

Cara turned the phone towards the bed. Caleb could just make out long dark hair spilling over a pillow.

‘Oh, I see,’ Caleb said with a smile. ‘You’re not alone.’

‘No, I’m not.’ She closed the bedroom door and went downstairs into the snug off the living room. She turned on a light and sat in an armchair.

‘And your parents are fine about her staying over?’

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