Page 8 of An Island Promise

‘Maybe. She works part time to fit in with her kids but I know she’s desperate to work full time. She doesn’t mind her job, but being a PA at a solicitors isn’t what she wants to do.’

‘She’s still trying to set up an interior design business?’

‘Which she’ll never do unless she takes the plunge.’

‘Difficult when she’s got young kids.’ Hannah dabbed away a spot of tomato sauce from her lips with a napkin.

‘She’s got a huge following on Instagram and stages her house beautifully; there’s so much potential.’ Belle sighed and scooped up another slice of pizza. ‘It’s hard to know what’s really going on without talking to her properly. There’s a distance that was never there before and I feel like we’re less and less a part of each other’s lives as the years go by.’

‘It’ll be different when you see her. I have friends like that who I don’t speak to for ages, then we meet up and slip back into our friendship like no time has passed at all.’ Hannah shuffledher chair sideways as the guy next to her made to leave. ‘And things are okay with Laurie?’

‘Sort of. I talk to her often but I get the feeling she’s holding something back. We skirt around personal stuff. To be fair, I’ve been doing the same, not really talking about my feelings over Isaac, mainly because I’m aware everyone thinks I’m mad for letting him go.’

‘But if you weren’t happy, it was the right thing to do.’

‘Gem thought I was nuts; she just didn’t get it.’ Belle gazed across the restaurant, clocking the loved-up couples among the tables of colleagues grabbing a bite to eat post-work. ‘I wasn’t happy, but I wasn’t sad either, just discontented which sounds pretty pathetic.’

‘No, it sounds realistic. I get it.’ Hannah shrugged. ‘It’s what we all do, spend years chasing a dream job and perfect relationship and when they don’t live up to our expectations, it’s disappointing.’

Belle knew it was her personal life rather than her professional one that had been the problem, which was why mixing the two by having a relationship with a colleague had been a mistake, although perhaps it had been the push she’d needed to make a positive change. She couldn’t continue to feel lost and uncertain, or shoulder the constant feeling of failure for never being satisfied despite everything she’d achieved.

Hannah sipped her lemonade. ‘But the job in Ibiza, you’re sure about it?’

‘It’s a risk and an unknown but I feel so hemmed in and troubled here without really understanding why. I’m not sure what I want apart from doing something different.’

‘I think what you’re doing is brave, but then you’ve been brave and focused and determined from the moment I met you.’ Hannah looked at her with a mixture of awe and pity. ‘Do youthink all these drastic changes have something to do with the ten-year anniversary of the accident coming up?’

Belle’s chest tightened and her palms felt sweaty as she put down her half-eaten pizza slice. ‘I think being somewhere completely different for a while can only be a good thing.’

Hannah nodded but didn’t comment further. She raised her glass. ‘Well, I’m happy for you. Congrats, Belle. You’re going to smash it; new job, new country, all that partying…’

‘Mmm, I’m not sure clubbing will be my top priority this time. But a summer of sunshine by the sea, organising exclusive events, forgetting about my string of disastrous relationships, getting away from London and being able to focus on myself for a while is much needed.’

5

The good thing about the move to Ibiza happening so quickly was the lack of time to dwell on her decision with the next few days flying by in a whirl of planning, packing and organisation. Working her notice was hectic because of the amount of things she needed to handover, culminating in a leaving do where Isaac’s absence was conspicuous but expected. As the days ticked by, Belle’s anxiety increased. A bead of doubt buried deep inside made her question if she was really doing the right thing.

The drive to Norfolk for a school friend’s wedding gave her time to think as she put the bustle of London behind her for the slower pace of a country life she’d so eagerly left behind. Although she’d grown up in a small north Norfolk town, returning never felt like coming home even on the rare occasions she visited her parents. Perhaps a decade on was the perfect time to make another move. Yet fear needled her because her move to London hadn’t been without incident. Her first few months had been full of unexpected challenges that continued to fuel her worry that as soon as something positive happened, something catastrophic would follow. And was returning to Ibiza really the smartest idea when she could have gone anywhere?She may have only spent one week there but it had made an impact. Meeting Diego, being consumed by him, loving him, wanting him, needing him, missing him… The one who had got away. There were so many what-ifs, but none were helpful. She couldn’t change the past, although it was crazy how often Diego would slip into her thoughts, even now.

Belle didn’t mind rocking up to a wedding on her own. In many ways she felt more comfortable going solo, happy to spend time with her friends without worrying about Isaac. Of course he’d been her plus-one when the invitation had arrived the year before. Her main concern, beyond having messed up the seating plan, was that some other poor single sod had been added to their table in a pathetic attempt to matchmake.

On the lawn in front of the grand Tudor house, Belle caught sight of Gem looking effortlessly chic in a blue and orange flowery maxi dress, her ash-blonde hair styled into a loose updo. Nerves batted her chest, a ridiculous reaction to the thought of talking to one of her oldest friends, but she often felt like this. There was a distance with Gem that never used to be there, more than just a physical distance because she’d remained in Norfolk while Belle had gone to London, something she’d never felt with Laurie even after her move to Manchester with Ade.

‘You look fabulous.’ Not allowing her anxiety to get the better of her, Belle swept Gem into a hug.

‘So do you.’ Gem pulled away and held her at arm’s length. ‘As always.’

Belle had splashed out on a new dress, an A-line strappy one that she’d take to Ibiza, and had thrown a pashmina stole around her shoulders to ward off the chill of the clear but sunny late May day.

‘Dan’s not with you?’ Belle asked as a waiter paused with a tray of Pimm’s.

Gem took a glass and rolled her eyes. ‘Dan’s not like Ade, happy to chat to everyone and anyone.’ She shrugged. ‘It was much easier for him to stay home with the kids.’

‘And you’re okay being on your own?’

‘As fine as you are, I’m sure.’ Gem looked at her pointedly from beneath fake lashes.

‘Indeed.’ Belle raised her glass of Pimm’s. ‘To my car crash of a love life.’

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