Page 10 of The Wiener Across the Way

See ya there, Besties!

Your BFF,

Mz. Besties’ Bestie

I LIKE BIG SACKS AND I CANNOT LIE

KELSEY

Fuck cheese.

No. Sigh. Cheese didn’t deserve that. Cheese was delicious, cheese wasn’t the villain here.

But neither was I.

While I was doing my cool down after my morning workout, I scrolled through the comments on my phone, each one a little sting.

“I was just trying to be funny,” I sighed, locking the screen, and looking up at Penelope, who was busy organizing my schedule.

Penelope was on the treadmill next to me and glanced over, her expression a mix of sympathy and resolve, and then stole my phone. “Kelsey, you know how it is with the media. They twist everything. But your fans, they get you.”

I huffed but was also glad she’d made me stop doom scrolling. It was bad for my mental health. I nodded, trying to shake off the negativity. “It’s just frustrating, Pen. I thought bynow even the hater dudes would buy into that I’m about body positivity, about loving yourself. Not about making my cheesy jokes about how I need to go on a diet and the size of my butt.”

She stopped her treadmill and turned to me. “Your fans do understand. And honestly, I thought it was funny. Who doesn’t love cheese? Cheese haters are the worst. Only slightly less worse than concern trolls.”

I chuckled despite the frustration. “Right. Maybe I should release a song about it. Brie my lover. No, no wait. It’s not you, it’s Brie.”

Penelope laughed, her eyes twinkling, but shook her head at my horrible lyrics. “Your incredible ability to turn anything into a song that tells a story is why people love you. Just keep doing that.”

I slowed the speed of my treadmill, really ready for this work out to be over. “You think it’s not a setback then? This whole cheese debacle?”

“Absolutely not,” Penelope assured me. “If anything, it shows how real you are. You’re not just a pop star with nothing in your head. You’re a person who can have a laugh and stand up for what you believe in.”

I didn’t know if declaring my love for cheese in front of a bunch of reporters did all that, but her words bolstered me anyway, reminding me of why I did all this in the first place. “I do know how to laugh. Most of the time.”

I didn’t used to need someone else to confirm that I was okay on a daily basis. But thank god for Pen. She was good at making sure I was, well, not going crazy.

Penelope jumped off the treadmill as soon as the timer went off ending the cool down, tablet in hand, ready to tackle the next item on our endless to-do list. Sometimes I wondered where in the world she got her Energizer bunny energy. I used to have that.

I was tired and it wasn’t the workout. Which I hadn’t wanted to do but did anyway because my stage shows were physically intense. So if I didn’t work out pretty much every day, I’d suffer under the spotlight. Which wasn’t fair to my fans. They deserved the best show I could give them.

“Look, for every negative comment, there are a thousand positive ones.” She showed me an InstaSnap post by one of my fans, a Mz. Besties’ Bestie. It was the pic of me from one of the news articles. The one where I was literally biting into that piece of cheese. There were a lot of comments. A lot. “Your message about self-love and acceptance resonates more than you know.”

The warmth of her encouragement did give me some mental energy. “You’re right. Let’s focus on the good. And maybe start brainstorming that cheese song, huh?”

I thanked the hotel staff who’d closed the gym for the hour I scheduled to be in here and then we headed back up to the suite. In the elevator I tapped my lip thoughtfully, pretending like this had just occurred to me and hadn’t been on my mind for two whole days. “Hey, Pen, did we hear back from... um, that football player? Declan Kingman, was it?”

Penelope raised an eyebrow, a knowing smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. “Oh, interested in Mr. Meanest Player, are we?”

I rolled my eyes and pressed my lips together to hide my smile. She and I had done some research on my potential faux beau. We’d found out about this meanest player in the league nomination when we googled him. Seemed weird because he was definitely not mean to me. I understood a PR thing when I saw one. “No, no, it’s not like that. Just, you know, professional curiosity. He did save my dog, after all. And he’s... well, he’s not hard on the eyes.”

Penelope chuckled, flipping through her phone. “Well, if you must know, we haven’t heard back yet. But I’ll chase it up. It’snot every day we pair you up with someone who’s actually taller than you, right?”

I laughed, trying to brush off the flutter in my stomach. “Right? It’s just practical, really. I mean, it’s not often I meet someone who I can wear high heels around. But I could have worn the Wonder Woman style costume from the “Borrow My Strength”video and he still would have been taller than me.”

I’d felt almost small next to him. Which was not something I ever felt around pretty much anyone else.

I wasn’t that tall. For a Viking warrior princess maybe. Not even six feet like everyone said. But I still wouldn’t have been as tall as Declan Kingman if I’d been in high heels. Which I never wore around any of the other men I dated.

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