Page 10 of The Anaconda Downstairs

“You want me to be your... dating coach?” I repeated, still not quite processing the request.

She nodded, looking both hopeful and mortified. “I know it’s a lot to ask, and if you’re not comfortable with it, I totally understand. It’s just, you’re so good with women and advice, and I thought maybe you could help me figure out how to be... I don’t know, more dateable?”

I opened my mouth to respond, but no words came out. My brain was short-circuiting, trying to reconcile the idea of helping Penelope date other men.

“Ev?” she prompted, her voice small and uncertain. “Say something? Please?”

I looked at her, this woman who had been occupying my thoughts for...okay, fine, I’d admit it, since the day I met her, who I had just convinced myself was completely off-limits, like a sister.

This was the best thing that could happen, and I hated it.

ON THE DOWNLOW

PENELOPE

Everett’s face contorted with an inner struggle I couldn’t quite understand. Was this really such a big ask? I mean, dating was a piece of cake for him, and it would be so easy for him to just tell me what guys wanted. Besides sex of course. Which... I was also not good at.

He ran a hand through his hair, his eyes darting everywhere but at me.

“Pen, I... I don’t think I can do this,” he finally said, his voice strained. “I’m great at advice with the guys, sure, but this would be like helping my sister get a date.”

Ooph. My heart sank at that sister comment. But that was exactly why I needed his help. Even when I did try to date in high school and that one year of college, guys always thought of me like that. Because I was a dorky, awkward girl who hung on their every word. Just like a little sister, I guess.

I wasn’t ready to give up. “That’s exactly why I need you. I trust you to guide me through it.”

He groaned, closing his eyes tight. “Don’t... don’t look at me like that, Pen. I can’t... those pretty brown eyes of yours, they’re too much. It’s like trying to say no to a puppy.”

Ding, ding, ding. There was my in. If he couldn’t resist puppy dog eyes, then I had the perfect weapon in my arsenal. I had Wiener the Pooh, Kelsey’s adorable dachshund that no one could resist, to thank for it.

“Oh, oh no,” I said, injecting a bit of playful challenge into my voice. “You can say no to this?”

I channeled my inner poor-widdle-puppy desperate for a treat. I widened my eyes, stuck out my bottom lip just slightly, and tilted my head. “Please help me, love guru.”

Everett peeked one eye open, then immediately groaned again. “Oh, come on. That’s not fair.”

“All’s fair in love and war,” I crooned, maintaining my puppy dog expression.

He muttered something under his breath that sounded suspiciously like “you have no idea,” before sighing heavily.

“Fine,” he said, throwing his hands up in defeat. “I’ll do it. I’ll be your dating coach. But,” he held up a finger, his expression suddenly serious, “we have to keep this on the downlow. Declan would kill me if he found out, and my entire family are gossip-mongering gossips. So you can’t even tell Jules. God, especially not Jules.”

I furrowed my brow, confused. “Why would Declan care?”

Everett stumbled over his words. “Because... because he’s protective of you. You know, in a big brother kind of way.”

It seemed a bit silly to me. Everett was a green flag guy, save maybe how many women’s hearts he broke on a daily basis. My heart wasn’t on the line. Not with him anyway. I nodded. “Actually, I’d prefer if we kept this quiet too. I’m a little embarrassed about needing help in this department, and I don’t need it splashed on social media with the rest of my life.”

Relief washed over Everett’s face. “So we’re agreed then? This stays between us?”

“Absolutely,” I said, holding out my hand. “Our little secret.”

We shook on it, and a little thrill of excitement tittered through me. I was about to get dating lessons from Everett Kingman, the Love Guru himself.

Just as Everett and I sealed our secret pact, the back door burst open and the rest of the Kingman brothers piled in, laughing and shoving each other.

“Mission accomplished,” Flynn announced, grinning from ear to ear.

“Yeah, until the next time Hayes needs to sneak his girlfriend out,” Gryff added, elbowing Hayes playfully.Hayes’s face turned a shade of red I didn’t think was possible.

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