Page 2 of The Anaconda Downstairs

That’s when I saw Penelope, and my heart stopped.

She was lying motionless in the middle of the living room floor, covered in a writhing mass of—god damn it—snakes.Hundreds of them. My brain short-circuited, fight-or-flight instincts warring with each other.

“Pen,” I croaked out. My utter fear of snakes was going to have to shut the fuck up, because I had to rescue a girl in mortal peril.

I shook out my hands, bounced on my feet and squealed like a scared baby bird as I dove in, my hands frantically sweeping away the serpents. “Hold on, Pen, I’ve got you.”

“Everett?” She was moaning or crying or dying right in front of my eyes. I ripped a handful of snakes from her face and her sobs rang in my ears or... wait, was she... laughing? I paused, a handful of suspiciously lightweight snakes in my grip, and looked down at Penelope’s face.

She was grinning up at me, eyes sparkling with mirth.

“My hero,” she said, giggling. “I think you can stop choking the snakes though.”

I blinked at her, finally registering that the snakes in my hands were fake and made of rubber. The floor around us was littered with faux reptiles of assorted colors and sizes.

“What the actual hell?” I fell back on my ass, tossing the remaining snakes at Penelope’s head. It was going to take hours running drills to burn off the enormous amount of adrenaline pumping through me.

Penelope sat up, fake snakes sliding off her like the world’s weirdest blanket. She reached for me, grabbing onto my shoulders, and damn if I didn’t lean into her touch. Her face had dropped from hilarity to empathy. “Sorry, Ev. We didn’t mean to scare you. Kelsey and I are taking pictures for social media, you know, to hint at her new album drop.”

I ran a hand through my hair, feeling equal parts relieved and foolish. “Right. Of course. Because that’s a totally normal thing to do on a Wednesday morning.”

“Says the guy who just dove into a pit of snakes to save me,” Penelope teased. “That really was very heroic.”

Declan walked in with Kelsey and looked around the remnants of his living room, taking in the damage after the snake tornado. There were several hanging from the chandelier and every lamp in the place was knocked over by snake torpedoes.

“Whoa,” Declan said, taking in the scene. “What’d we miss?”

Kelsey’s eyes lit up. “Oh my god, did you get action shots? This is going to be perfect for InstaSnap.”

Penelope laughed. “Even better. Everett just tried to rescue me from certain death by rubber snake. It’s all on camera.”

Declan nearly choked on his coffee. “Ev? Mr. I-Can’t-Even-Watch-Snakes-On-TV did all of this to that pile of fake snakes?”

I took a shaky-ass breath. “Hey, I thought she was in trouble.”

“Aw, that’s sweet,” Kelsey cooed. “Terrified of snakes but still willing to save a damsel in distress.”

“I’m not terrified,” I protested weakly. “Just... you know, snakes are dangerous.”

Penelope stood up, brushing off the last of the fake snakes and offering me a hand up. “Well, scared or not, I appreciate the rescue attempt.” She patted my arm, sending an unexpected jolt through me. “Your secret’s safe with us, snake charmer. And by us, I mean me, Kelsey, and the Besties. I’ll be sure to tag you in the post on InstaSnap.”

I rolled my eyes and took her hand. A little zing went up my arm and it took me a beat too long to let go. “Yeah, yeah. Dec, we better get going or we’ll be late for practice. Kels, keys are on the counter.”

I headed right out the front door, giving the lot of them the bird for trying to murder me with fake snakes. Was the universetrying to tell me something this morning? If it was, I had no idea what, and snakes were not the way I wanted to be informed.

I glanced back into the living room from the doorway at Pen. She was arranging the fake snakes around her again, laughing at something Kelsey said. My heart literally skipped a beat. Because of the snakes.

Not because Penelope’s cheeks were flushed and her eyes sparkling, or the fact that she caught me looking and winked at me.

I hopped into the passenger side of Dec’s truck, still freaked the fuck out. We pulled out of the driveway, and the girls were visible through the window, laughing as Penelope arranged more of those rubber abominations. I stared until Dec chucked me on the jaw to force me to close my mouth, which I didn’t realize was hanging open.

Because... snakes. Not drooling or anything.

“You okay there, bro?” Declan asked, a smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. “You look like you’re lusting after my fiancée. Or, you know, a bunch of fake snakes.”

“Ha-ha,” I deadpanned. “You’re hilarious. Let’s just get to practice.”

My brain kept replaying the scene like I was watching game tape the whole drive. The fear, the adrenaline, the way I’d dove in without a second thought. It was ridiculous, really. If it had been anyone else lying there... Well, I probably would’ve run screaming in the opposite direction.

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