Page 28 of The Anaconda Downstairs

“I saw this on FlipFlop.” Her voice had gone low and husky.

Holy shit. When did Pen get so good at this? I swallowed hard, trying to maintain my composure.

“Not bad,” I managed, my voice a bit rougher than I intended.I stepped closer, placing one hand on the door frame above her head, effectively boxing her in. I leaned in, my face mere inches from hers. Her lips parted and her eyes went dark and shiny.

“Body language is all about creating tension,” I murmured, my eyes locked on hers. “Making the other person hyperaware of your presence.”

Pen’s breath hitched, and my eyes darted to her lips then back up to her eyes.

“Is it working?” she whispered.

“You tell me, pretty Penny,” I breathed, inching closer. The air between us crackled with electricity. I couldn’t help it, I was going to kiss her. Lesson be damned, I needed to know what those lips felt like against mine.

I closed the distance between us, and Penelope closed her eyes. Something cool and smooth brushed against my ear. A soft hiss followed.

“What the—” I jerked back, my heart leaping into my throat as I caught sight of the fucking yellow spotted anaconda from hell hanging from my porch light, its forked tongue flicking out mere inches from my face.

“Holy shit,” I yelped, stumbling backward and nearly falling off the porch steps. “Snake, snake, snake, snake, snake, snake.”

Pen’s eyes flew open in shock. She looked down at me, crouching in the doorway, and then up at the snake.Me, the big bad football player, pressed against the door, cowering from that damn snake, while said creature curled back up around the light fixture, seeming more interested in the light than either of us.

“That’s a yellow anaconda,” she said matter of factly, just as if she wasn’t looking at my own personal stalker.

“I’ll have you know that’s my arch enemy and it’s been hunting me. He probably thinks I’ll taste like chicken.” I scowled at the beast. “And why do you know what kind of snake it is?”

Pen’s face crinkled with soft laughter as she looked between me and the snake. She reached her hand out to me and pulled me to my feet. I scooted all the way to the farthest end of the porch.

“Everett,” she said with a subtle laugh as she said my name. Hearing my name on her lips was the only thing keeping me sane at the moment. “Do you know this snake?”

I grimaced, trying to slow my racing heart. “Billy, the neighbor kid with the death wish, lives behind me. His monster snake gets out and comes after me at least once a week.”

I eyed the anaconda warily. “Think you could, uh, call animal control or something? While I just... stand over here. Far away.”

“I’ve got it handled.” Pen hid her smile and nodded very seriously. Then she pulled out her phone and waited for someone to answer. “Hi, yeah, it’s Penelope. I think my good friend Everett just found the snake for Kelsey’s photoshoot.”

Aw, shit. I didn’t know if I was more upset about the snake, or that Pen had just called me her friend. Her good friend.

Nothing I was feeling about Penelope Quinn was good.

It was all unbelievably bad. In all the best ways.

INSTASNAP POST

@CoolBeansThornminster

Cool Beans Coffee Shop - Thornminster, CO

[Pic of a bright orange sleeping kitten sprawled out across a game board surrounded by a mess of game pieces. A latte and half eaten cookie are nearby]

Caption:

Now hosting after hours family game nights.

Kittens optional. *wink*

Pro tip: Never play Footballopoly against @EverettKingman and @BestiesBestie unless you're prepared for a power team to take you down.

P.S. This little guy and his brothers and sisters are looking for their forever homes. Stop by our next Caturday adoption event to make him yours.

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