Page 38 of The Anaconda Downstairs

I struck a pose, and then another, and another, channeling my inner supermodel, and giggled at my own silliness. But that was okay too. Being authentically me meant embracing the goofy parts as well.

I grabbed my phone to take a selfie—not to post anywhere, just for me. A reminder of this moment, this feeling.

I snapped the picture, and a second later my phone buzzed with a text from Everett.

Almost ready? Hope you’re up for an adventure.

My heart did a little flip. Was I ready? The old Penelope would have panicked, convinced she wasn’t good enough, prettyenough, thin enough. But the woman in the mirror? She was ready for anything.

I typed back and added a little boldness to my message.

Bring it on, love guru.

As I hit send, I realized something. I wasn’t nervous about Everett seeing me like this. I was excited. I wanted him to see this version of me—not because I thought it would impress him, but because it felt like the truest version of myself.

Jules was so right about makeovers.

I slipped on the heels, grabbed my other clothes, and took one last look in the mirror.

“You’ve got this,” I told my reflection. “You’ve shown the world the Penelope Quinn they wanted to see. Time to show the world, and Everett Kingman, the best version of yourself. The real you.”

FLIPFLOP VIDEO

@BestiesBestie

“Borrow My Strength” by Kelsey Best plays over video montage of Kelsey, Penelope, and friends.

Headline:Glam time with the Bestie girls. Doing some pre-Grampys prep today.

Clip one:At a salon in their robes, with cucumbers over their eyes. Kelsey eating one of Penelope's cucumbers.

Clip Two:Hair and makeup done up fancy, blowing kisses to the camera.

Clip Three:With plus-size fashion designer Rose Vond holding up beautiful dresses.

Caption:

Reminder: You don't need to change who you are to be beautiful. You're already a masterpiece, we're just adding some sparkle.

Your BFF,

Mz. Besties’ Bestie - Penelope

#BestiesBestie #GlamSquad #BeautyInAllSizes #RevengeComesInEverySize #DidYouSpotTheSnake?

DEATH TO SPEED DATING

EVERETT

Itold Pen to meet me in the parking lot of Cool Beans so we didn’t risk Kelsey and Declan, or any of my nosy neighbors, a.k.a my family, see us heading out together dressed up for a holiday party. It was a miracle my family hadn’t figured out what I was doing with Penelope yet.

Not that I was doing anything inappropriate.

But I wanted to.

God dammit. Not the plan.

If ever Penelope was going to find her confidence and embrace it to find herself a date, tonight’s speed dating event was it. I knew full well she thought she couldn’t talk to men, which is why this was perfect. Five minutes was all they’d get with her. While Pen had proved she could verbally vomit or spill coffee on a guy in that time span, my love guru dating instructions for her tonight was to let them do the talking. They needed to impress her. No the other way around.

---