Page 46 of The Anaconda Downstairs

I nodded, suddenly more sure than I’d been about anything in a long time. “Hell yeah. I want to be with you, Pen. No more lessons, no more pretending. Just us.”

She bit her lip, considering for a moment, then smiled. “Okay. But you might have to give me a few more lessons. I’ve been told I’m not very good in bed.”

“Pen.” I shook my head and lifted her chin with my knuckles so she had to look at me when I told her the truth she needed to hear. “I don’t know what kind of absolute dumbasses you’ve been dating, but later, I will use every bit of my fortune to hire angry honey badgers to neuter every single one of them. I have absolutely no doubt that not only are we going to be great in bed together, I’m betting you’re going to rock my fucking world tonight.”

The drive to my house was a blur of stolen glances and tentative touches. My fingers and thumb caressed Pen’s thigh as I drove and pushed her dress up higher with every mile. Touching her like this felt surreal, like a sex dream I was afraid to wake up from. But this was so much better than any sex dream.

We pulled into my driveway, and reality came crashing back in the form of a frantic woman pacing on my front porch.

“Is that... Billy’s mom?” Pen asked, squinting through the windshield.

I nodded, a knot of dread forming in my stomach. If Billy’s mom was here this late, something was wrong. And given our history, I had a sinking feeling I knew what it was about.

We got out of the car and approached the porch. Billy’s mom’s face was a mask of anxiety, her eyes darting between us and the front door.

“Mr. Kingman, thank goodness you’re here.” She ran a hand through her already messy hair. “I’ve been trying to reach you for hours.”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Thompson, we were at an event.” One that I was hoping to continue sooner rather than later. “What’s going on? Is Billy all right?”

She wrung her hands. “It’s that dumb snake of his. He’s escaped, again, and... and I saw him slither into your house. I’m so sorry.”

The world tilted sideways. Snakey. In my house. My skin crawled at the mere thought.

“Are... are you sure?” I asked, my voice embarrassingly high-pitched.

Mrs. Thompson nodded vigorously. “Positive. I’ve been waiting here, hoping you’d come home. I even tried calling that nice snake wrangler lady, but she’s not answering either, and I think I remember that she’s out of town for Christmas.”

Bile roiled in my stomach and maybe I groaned. Pen must have noticed because she squeezed my hand reassuringly.

“Okay,” she said, taking charge. “We need to go in and look for her. She can’t have gone far, right?”

Mrs. Thompson and Pen looked at me expectantly. I swallowed hard, trying to quell the panic rising in my chest. “Right. Yeah. We should... we should go in and look.”

I fumbled with my keys, my hands shaking so badly I could barely get the door open. As it swung inward, I half expected to see Snakey coiled on the welcome mat, ready to strike.

But the entryway was empty. Silent. Which was even worse.

“I’ll check the living room,” Pen offered.

“And I’ll look in the kitchen,” Mrs. Thompson added.

They both turned to me, waiting. I opened my mouth, but no words came out. The thought of walking into my own home knowing that slithery demon was in here somewhere, probably in my fucking bedroom...

“Ev?” Pen’s voice was soft, concerned. “Are you okay?”

I shook my head, unable to lie. “I... I can’t. I’m sorry, but I just... I can’t go in there knowing she’s loose.”

Understanding dawned in Pen’s eyes. She squeezed my hand again. “It’s okay. We’ve got this. You wait out here, alright?”

Guilt and relief warred inside me as I nodded. I watched as Pen and Mrs. Thompson ventured into the house, feeling like the world’s biggest coward. I was going to turn that fucking snake into a pair of boots. Or maybe a purse for Penelope.

Shit. No I wasn’t. Billy loved his stupid snake.

The minutes crawled by like hours. Every rustle, every muffled exclamation from inside the house had me jumping. I paced the porch, alternating between peering anxiously through the windows and staring at the front door, willing it to open.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Pen and Mrs. Thompson emerged. Their expressions told me everything I needed to know.

“We couldn’t find him,” Pen said gently. “We looked everywhere, Ev. He must be hiding really well.”

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