Page 65 of The Anaconda Downstairs

“Good,” Declan nodded approvingly. “Because we've got your back, Ev. Both of you. Even when you're being idiots.”

Something loosened in my chest, a tension I hadn't even realized I'd been carrying. “You're not mad?”

Declan rolled his eyes. “Mad? Nah. Fuck off with that shit. I've watched you fall in and out of love with every woman you meet. We were all worried you'd never actually let yourself be happy.”

What the shit? I opened my mouth to refute him, but nothing came out.

He shook his head at me like the all-knowing older brother telling me how fucking dumb I was being. “You're always so busy trying to help the rest of us be happy and find love, and you know what? It's easier to do that than to find it for yourself.”

Again... What. The. Actual. Shit? “You really are fucking mean.”

Declan smiled and shrugged. “But it hurts so good, doesn't it?”

I shook my head, not sure that it did.

Declan stood up, and this time he did punch me, in the arm. “I'm happy for you, you little dumbshit. Penelope is one of the coolest chicks I know and you two are going to be great together if you don't fuck it up. Now put your goddamned clothes on. This social media situation is looking like it's gonna be bad, for your girl and mine. The best defense is a good defense.”

That was not how the saying went, but Declan probably believed his stance was more the one true way. He was very Mace Windoo, Jedi Master about being on defense.

“Ev,” his expression turned serious, “if you love her, if this is real, then you fight for it. Out in the open where everyone can see. She needs to know you'll burn down the fucking world for her.”

Jesus. How was I the love guru in this family? Dec was clearly the one we should all be going to for advice. Not me. I nodded, a new resolve settling over me. “You're right. I need to talk to Pen. We need to face this together, no more hiding.”

A slow smile spread across Declan's face, one I hadn't seen since we were kids. “Well, look at that. My little brother's finally growing up.”

I rolled my eyes, but I couldn't keep the grin off my face. “Shut up.”

Declan stood, clapping me on the shoulder. “So what's the plan? How are we handling this Odin situation?”

“I don't have a fucking clue. All I ever put on my socials is some pictures of practice or a touchdown dance and I get a million views. It's not like I have a whole lot of big stuff on my platform.”

Which, now that I was thinking about it, maybe I should do something to help make the world a better place since I did have an actual platform.

“I think the fans of your KnightWear tighty-whities ads would argue with that.” He glanced down at my lap and back up with a smirk on his face.

Was... was he making a dick joke? Who was this man and what had he done with my grumpy-ass older brother? Just as I was about to dish it back, my phone buzzed. It was a text from Jules:

Bro. This Odin douchepotato is beyond sus. Gathering the Take Up Space Network ASAP. Get your pookie, because it is on like Donkey Kong.

I blinked at the message six or seven times before I showed it to Dec. Guess Jules was in the loop now, because I'm fairly sure 'my pookie' meant Penelope. I was so gonna call her that.

“Well, well,” Declan said, a smirk playing on his lips. “Looks like your nemesis is in for a world of hurt. Jules on the warpath is scarier than... I don't know, anything. He'd better keep an eye on his Cheerios and his ass.”

“No kidding,” I agreed, feeling a surge of pride for our little sister. “That girl's a force of nature that should be both worshipped and feared. I almost feel bad for the guy.”

Declan's expression turned mischievous. “You know, we could always sic Billy's snake on Odin. Squeeze the truth out of him about what an asshole he's being. Might be a kinder fate.”

As much as I hated the guy, that was… too far. I shivered, trying to shake it off. “Don't even joke about that, man.”

Declan burst out laughing. “Come on, Ev. You can stare down 300-pound guys trying to crush you, but you're still scared of a little snake?”

“Little? That thing's a monster,” I muttered, suppressing a shudder as I remembered my last encounter with Billy's pet.“And now I have the heebie-jeebies like she's here watching me. Let's go find the girls and make a plan that does not involve snakes.”

We crossed the street to Declan's house, the short walk giving me just enough time for my nerves to kick in. What if Pen wasn't ready for this? What if she pushed me away again?

Kelsey answered the door, ushering us into the living room where Penelope and Neith were huddled over a laptop. When Pen saw me, her eyes widened, a mix of surprise and panic flashing across her face.

“Ev,” she said, her voice tight. “What are you doing here?”

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