Page 9 of The Anaconda Downstairs

I blurted out, “These two are practically family at this point.”

As soon as the words left my mouth, I wanted to swallow them back down. Family. Right. That’s exactly what Penelope was. Off-limits.

When Hayes started setting up for the livestream, I gratefully accepted a controller. Maybe focusing on the game would keep my mind in my own damn lane.

Hayes did the introductions for the live stream. “Tonight’s matchup is guest star Everett Kingman and Isak playing as, you guessed it, the Denver Mustangs, against big time rivals, the twin terrors, Flynn and Gryff playing everyone’s favorite losing team, the LA Bandits.”

We all played our parts, cheering and booing like the competitive dorks that we were. Yeah. Spending time with these guys was going to be good for my mindset. Family, fun, and football video games.

Almost better than sex.

“We’ve got some special guests with us in the announcing booth tonight. Say hello to everyone’s favorite Bestie, Penelope, and... super-secret sneaky guest announcer—” Hayes snort laughed. “Please welcome... Patty Meowhomes.”

Willa smacked her lips and said, “Thanks, Kingman, good to be here, looking forward to a watching you all play with your balls.”

We made it just into the third quarter when Willa’s phone buzzed and she and Hayes went into panic mode.

The boys went into Kingman SEAL mode and bolted into the backyard in some crazy ass escape to avoid Willa’s shitty brother discovering she and Hayes were seeing each other.

Pen and I watched in awe from the back door. The twins and Isak were stacked like human steps and Hayes was dragging Willa over the fence into her uncle’s yard.

I liked her and the effect she was having on Hayes. He needed to live a little. That girl was going to be family someday. Maybe I should be going to Hayes for love advice instead of the other way around.

“Why do I have a feeling your brothers have used this escape routine before?” Pen shook her head and laughed. “I guess I’m not surprised given the way you all pulled off the great diversion when we helped Kelsey and Dec escape the paparazzi at the hospital.”

“Comes with the territory when you’ve got six brothers and a baby sister who has us wrapped around her little finger.” Our eyes met, and for a moment, I forgot how to speak, to breathe, to think.

Penelope fidgeted with the hem of her shirt, a nervous energy radiating off her that I hadn’t noticed before. She took a deep breath and stared up at me like I was a Greek god and she was a swan.

“This was fun tonight, wasn’t it?” Her voice was soft and unsure, which was not like the Penelope I knew. “It was a great distraction. I’ve been... well, I’ve been on edge this week about going to the Grampys with Kelsey.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You should be excited.”

She nodded, but her smile didn’t quite reach her eyes. “I am, it’s just... the red carpet, the cameras, all those people who’ll be staring at me, taking my picture, and... needing a date.”

My heart rate picked up. Was she working up to asking me to be her date?

The idea of seeing her all dolled up, walking the red carpet in some kind of bombshell dress that showed off every single one of her curves was the stuff of fantasies.

I’d have to turn her down. Shit. How was I going to say no to her?

“Listen,” she continued, interrupting my spiraling thoughts. “Declan mentioned something to me the other day, and I’ve been trying to figure out how to bring it up.”

Oh god. This was it. She was going to ask me to be her date. I braced myself, not having a fucking clue how I was going to let her down gently.

“He said you’re kind of the love guru of the Kingmans,” Penelope said, her cheeks flushing slightly.

I was murdering my brother later... but probably after we won the bowl game.

“And, well... God, this is embarrassing.” She laughed nervously. “I was hoping, I mean, would you consider being my... dating guru?”

I blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

Dating guru. Not date.

Penelope’s blush deepened. “It’s just, I haven’t been in a relationship in a long time. And if you haven’t noticed, I’m kinda awkward, and I’m definitely out of practice talking to guys, besides, you know, Kingman brothers. With the Grampys coming up, I thought maybe if I could get some pointers, some confidence... maybe I could find an actual date, you know? I really don’t want to walk that red carpet looking like I couldn’t find anyone to go with me.”

I stared at her, completely blindsided. Of all the things I had expected her to say, this wasn’t even on the list.

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