Page 16 of Honkers Under the Holly

A crash from the garden interrupted whatever I might have said. We rushed to the French doors to find Sir Honksalot had indeed discovered the fountain. He appeared to be teaching it who was boss.

“Well,” Sara Jayne said, fighting a smile, “at least someone feels at home already.”

I looked at her, hair falling loose from her braids, trying not to laugh at our goose’s aquatic dominance display, and thought—I’m already home. That’s the problem.

After a dinner where Jones regaled us with stories about his playing days while Magda continued to take calls about themodel casting for Illustrated Sports, Sara Jayne and I found ourselves alone in our room. Our room. The phrase still made my pulse skip.

She stood at her suitcase, pajamas clutched to her chest. “I’ll just...” She gestured toward the en suite bathroom.

“Right. Yes. Good idea.” Smooth, Jerry. Real smooth.

While she changed, I tried not to think about the fact that we’d be sleeping in the same bed. Instead, I focused on practical things. Like changing into my sleep pants and t-shirt. And wondering if I should have packed nicer pajamas than my old college sweatpants. And absolutely not thinking about how Sara Jayne’s toothbrush was already on the bathroom counter, right next to mine, looking like they belonged there together.

She emerged in soft-looking pajamas of a tank top and shorts printed with little clouds, her face scrubbed free of makeup. She looked younger, softer somehow. And absolutely beautiful.

“Bathroom’s free,” she said, not quite meeting my eyes.

When I came out a few minutes later, she was perched on the edge of the bed, looking about as nervous as I felt.

“I really can take the floor,” I offered, eyeing the vast expanse of carpet.

“Don’t be ridiculous.” She fixed me with that fierce look I was coming to know well. “You have an old injury, and that carpet isn’t nearly as plush as it looks.”

“It’s not that bad?—”

“Mac.” She patted the space beside her. “We’re both adults. And we need to make this look convincing for two more days. Come to bed.”

The way she said it, so matter-of-fact yet slightly breathless, made my heart do complicated things.

I slid under the covers on the far side, trying to maintain a respectful distance without looking like I was avoiding her. Thebed was enormous, but I swear I could feel the heat from her body across the space between us.

“This is weird, isn’t it?” she whispered into the darkness after I’d turned off the lamp.

“Little bit.”

“Should we like... talk about it?”

“The weirdness?”

“All of it.” She shifted, and I could feel her looking at me even though I couldn’t quite see her face. “The fake engagement that doesn’t feel very fake. The way you smile at me when you think I’m not looking. The fact that I really want to move closer, but I’m afraid if I do, I won’t want to move back.”

My heart stopped. Then started again, double-time.

“Sara Jayne...”

She shifted closer, and I wanted to kiss her and touch her and spread her thighs, losing myself between them. But Sara Jayne moved first, putting herself right into my arms in a way that felt perfectly natural. Enough that when my arm ended up around her, it didn’t feel like crossing a line.

She fit perfectly against me, her head tucking under my chin like it was made to rest there. Her hair smelled like vanilla and something floral, and I tried very hard not to think about how right this felt.

“Is this okay?” she whispered.

Did I want to fuck her? Yes, absolutely. But holding her like this was something almost more overwhelming than my need for her. I closed my eyes and let myself imagine more than just one night with her. I imagined years and years together. “Better than okay.”

“Good.” She yawned. “Because you’re really comfortable. And warm.”

I pressed a kiss to the top of her head before I could overthink it. “Get some sleep. We have weeks to figure out the rest.”

But as her breathing evened out, and she curled closer in her sleep, I wondered if maybe we’d already figured it out. Maybe we were just waiting for our hearts to catch up to what they’d known since that first day I saw her.

---