Page 14 of The Jack*ss in Class

“Brilliant, right?” She bounced up to demonstrate. “Love me some same-day Zon delivery. I figured out that if we put puppy pads in it and surrounded it with hay, it makes a perfect donkey bathroom. Westill gotta do some serious big boy pooper scoops, but better than our room smelling like a barn.”

It was better, and what was more, with the kinds of things a house full of fifty-five sorority sisters ordered online, I’m sure no one looked twice at a kiddie pool, puppy pads, a collapsible shovel, and a block of hay arriving on the front porch.

Baby donkey looked up from where he was munching hay, his makeshift wings from yesterday were back on, and decidedly crooked. So fricking cute.

“That’s...” I couldn’t decide whether it was genius or insane. “Actually kind of brilliant.” Until we got the inevitable January cold snap and snow. But hopefully the sanctuary would be back up and running by then.

“And...” She grabbed her phone. “I made him social media accounts. InstaSnap, FlipFlop, the works. He already has thirteen-thousand followers.”

“You what?” Someday I was either going to strangle Parker for her love of social media, or thank her for it. I hadn’t decided yet. I wouldn’t even have accounts at all if she didn’t basically post to all of them on my behalf. But it was all part of her grand strategy to make sure no one associated the close-to-real-life version of me with the best-selling romance author version of me.

“Look.” She shoved her phone at me. “I called him @BabyDragonDonkey, since you still won’t decide on his name, and people are obsessed. The video of him doing the spin move around Flynn Kingman has, like, a million views now.”

“Parker.” I pressed my fingers to my temples. “We’re trying to keep him secret.”

“No, we’re trying to keep him from getting caught in our room. His social media presence is totally separate. Oh, oh, oh.” She clicked to another screen. “And get this. I’ve been messaging with this gamer guy who says he can get us sponsorship deals. Some protein powder company wants Baby Dragon Donkey to be their mascot for their Bowl ad. Something about ‘the strength of a dragon in the body of a donkey.’”

I sank onto my bed. “Please tell me you didn’t agree to anything.”

“Not yet. This guy’s kind of annoying actually. Keeps sending me memes and asking if Mystery Donkey’s mommy is single.” She wrinkled her nose. “But he does have, like, three million followers, and has a ton of sponsorship deals on his livestreams, so, I guess he knows what he’s doing.”

“No sponsorship deals.” I grabbed her phone and scrolled through the accounts she’d made. The donkey doing his little wing flap. The donkey investigating Parker’s gaming setup. That was probably the one that got the gamer guy’s attention. The donkey wearing a tiny graduation cap Parker had apparently crafted while I’d been in class.

They were actually kind of adorable. But still. “We can’t draw attention to him. He’s supposed to be at the sanctuary.”

“I’ve made sure that no one can tell where he is in the vids, literally or virtually.” Parker took her phone back. “And, the sanctuary’s account already followed us. They seem cool with it though. Even shared the original video.”

The donkey chose that moment to bump his head against my leg, looking for treats.

“Don’t give me that look, you poor, nameless cutie patootie.” I told him. “This is exactly the kind of chaos I was trying to avoid.”

“This is our last semester and you’re going to live a little if it’s the last thing I do.” Parker’s grin turned evil. “Did you happen to get an email about that tutoring thing your mother made you sign up for?”

It was supposed to make my law school applications look good. And, of course, reflect well on the family since my papá was in line to be head of the English department at DSU when ancient Dr. Dillamond finally retired.

Not that I needed to look good on any applications. Because I hadn’t started filling any of them out.

I groaned and fell back on my bed. “I don’t know what you did, but I already feel the need to murder you for it. Unless, of course, you somehow got me out of it.”

Then I wouldn’t have to spend any more time than was absolutely necessary with annoying Flynn Kingman.

“No, but I did hack the academic success program database this morning. Had to make sure they paired you with someone hot.”

“Parker.”

“What? Like you weren’t hoping for a meet-cute with a secret genius who’d totally get your romance novel career?”

I sat up so fast I got dizzy. “First of all, Flynn Kingman is not a secret genius.”

“So you admit he’s hot?”

“Second of all,” I ignored her, “I don’t need meet-cutes.I need to figure out how to hide a donkey, maintain my GPA, keep my family happy, and now apparently prevent you from turning our room into a social media content farm.”

“Too late.” She held up her phone again. “Look, someone already made fan art of Baby Dragon Donkey. They gave him a little football jersey and everything. Oh, and that gamer guy just messaged again. Says his brother wants to know if?—”

A tiny bray interrupted her as the donkey stuck his nose in my backpack, pulling out my marketing textbook.

“No.” I rescued the book. “That is not for eating. Unlike some people in this room, I actually need to study.”

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