Page 112 of Selfie

“Fine,” Casey forces out. His cheeks are painted splotchy red. His embarrassment is only a small taste of what he did to Spencer, yet he seems like he’s going to break under the pressure. “James?” He looks to my dad for help the very moment I step back.

“Casey, I don’t know what’s going on, but my loyalty will always be to my son. And if you hurt someone he loves, my hands are tied. I think you should go.”

“And my job?”

“I don’t see how?—”

“Transfer him,” I interrupt Dad. The suggestion comes from fucking nowhere, I don’t even know why I’m doing it. I just do it. “You have up-and-coming projects in Orange County, right?” I ask Dad. “Assign him something else here. We’ll pay for your move, whatever you need,” I say to Casey.

Understandably so, Casey looks at me, his brows pulled with concern, trying to make sense of my confusing generosity. “Why the mercy?”

“I have no goddamn clue.” I turn around to address the room. “I’m sorry, everybody, for my outburst. Please, get back to the party. Drain this entire cellar, on me.”

Soon enough, a low rumble of chatter fills the space again. I look across the room at Dawn who stayed planted in her seat during the debacle. She gives me a subtle thumbs-up, her stamp of approval for avenging our girl.

Before heading to the exit, I pull my dad aside and try to offer my apologies for making a scene during his party. But he holds up his hands, stopping me.

“All this about a girl?”

“It’s not like?—”

“No, I hope it is, Nathan. You, flying off the handle, seeing red when someone wrongs the woman you’ve chosen to protect.” He pats my cheek. “Feels good, doesn’t it?”

“What?”

Dad grins, a bit drunkenly, but earnestly. “Falling in love again.”

“I don’t know if that’s what’s happening.”

“Something’s happening.” He shrugs with a boyish smile. He’s tipsy and wants to get back to acting silly, but I’m in no joking mood. I need to get out of his way.

“Goodnight, Dad. Have fun.No strippers,” I say mock-sternly. “I promised Julia I’d keep you an honest man.”

He snorts. “All right, son. Let me leave you with one more thing.”

“What’s that?” I ask, anticipating a corny dad joke.

“The best part about falling in love a second time is you have the chance to fix past mistakes. If you could’ve done anything different with Elise, what would it have been?”

I take a moment to really think. Our relationship was picturesque in my mind. I’d change all the pain Elise endured, but not anything about us. All I’d want is more time. “I wish we would’ve gotten married sooner. If she had to die, I wish she would’ve died as my wife. I still want Claire to be with me. I should’ve made that happen while I had the chance.”

Dad yanks me into a hug. The smell of liquor seeps from his pores as he pats my back. “Then don’t waste any more time, son. Go after what you want.”

The minute I’m outside, I suck in a deep breath of California night air. This close to the water, I can almost taste the salty spray. I don’t know why there’s still a ball of lead in my chest. I confronted Casey. I solved the mystery of why Spencer panicked in the elevator. I don’t think a man has ever treated her the way she deserves. She’s been alone for so long, faking smiles. Maybe I make things too real for her, the way she does for me.

Real is messy and hard, but it’s honest. And it’s the only way forward.

Maybe it’s time to lay all our secrets on the table, stop wasting time, and move forward together. I take out my phone to call her, but forgetting it was on silent, I’m met with messages from Spencer already.

Spencer

I don’t know how else to apologize.

Or the best way to tell you how I really feel.

But please know, this is me trusting you…

Then there’s a picture that stops my heart. I have to blink several times to absorb what’s in front of me.

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