Page 86 of Selfie

She responds with a picture of a thermometer reading. One oh three. I could playfully accuse her of grabbing that picture off the internet, except her bare toes are showing. I recognize herpink, chipped polish. The color matches the train wreck of an office I’m still working in. If I spend too many more days in this pink prison, I’m going to have to forfeit my man card, butdamn.I rock back and forth in my blush, cloth executive chair. This thing is really comfortable and the lumbar support is awesome. And who is going to have the balls to make fun of the boss’s pink office, hm? I’d have their head.

Me

You were feeling fine this morning. You dropped Charlie off at school, right?

Spencer

I was trying to power through. If I act sick, Charlie’s suddenly extremely sick too.

Me

Ah, so fibs are contagious.

Spencer

Use that in my eulogy, if the guilt doesn’t kill you first.

Me

Aw, double funeral. That’s kind of sweet.

Spencer

Great. Not even in death can I get rid of you.

Me

Ha. Jokes aside, what’re your symptoms?

Spencer

Pounding headache, body aches, so tired, cold sweats, nauseous and some other stuff I’m not going to share with you.

Me

Meaning you’re spewing from both ends? Well, pumpkin, that’s the flu.

Spencer

Did you just say *spewing*?

Me

We’re all adults here.

Spencer

One of us is.

Me

I’m on my way. Are you a Tamiflu or Xofluza kind of girl?

Spencer

What?

Me

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