Page 47 of Owned

“And are you fine now?” I asked.

Rowan opened her mouth then shut it again, her gaze flitting away once more.

“Don’t say yes, beauty,” I murmured. “Don’t spoil it. You can admit that you’re not fine. It’s okay. I won’t think any less of you and it doesn’t make you any less strong.” She shifted again, but didn’t say anything, toying with a button on my shirt instead. So I went on, “Allowing yourself to have what you want, to admit your own desires, doesn’t make you dependent. It doesn’t make you weak. You think I would have fucked you the way I just did if I thought you couldn’t handle it?”

“I didn’t handle it, though.” She looked up at me abruptly, her eyes dark. “You made me unable to think, unable to breathe, unable to….” She broke off again.

“You handled it.” I didn’t know where this urge to reassure her came from, but I obeyed it without question. “You were honest with yourself, perhaps for the first time in your fucking life, and you took what you wanted. You kissed me, remember?”

“But I?—”

“Yes, you wanted me, but do you understand that your desperation for me is the hottest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. I want you desperate for me. I want you to be unable to think of anything except me. I want you to be unable to breathe without me, because it gets me off, Rowan. It gets me hard. You gave me what no one else has ever given me, someone to cater to my fantasies. And that’s the sweetest fucking gift, beauty. Your desire and your trust is precious.”

Her eyes were wide, but she didn’t speak immediately, studying me as if trying to spot a lie. “But…you said you didn’t care what I wanted. You said only what you wanted mattered.”

“Yes, I did,” I slowly, thinking about it. “And what I want is you being completely and utterly obsessed with me. But if that’s not genuine, then it’s not sexy to me. And if it’s not sexy to me, it’s not what I want.”

“Oh.” Her gaze narrowed. “But what if?—”

Abruptly her phone went off. She shifted, but I’d already leaned down to grab the offending piece of technology out of the purse she’d put down beside the couch. The screen was lit up, ‘work’ calling her.

Yeah, no way ‘work’ was interrupting us.

I hit the answer button and said, “Rowan will not be in for the rest of the day. Direct any concerns to Blackwood Construction.” Then I ended the call.

Rowan gave me an outraged look. “Atlas, what the hell was that?”

“You’re in no condition to go back to work,” I said, the calm of my decision settling over me. “First, you’re going to have a nice hot bath, then you’re going to have something to eat. And then you and I are going to have a little conversation about what being owned by me means.” I lifted a brow. “Any further questions?”

17

Rowan

There was something very certain about the way he said it. As if everything he’d mentioned had already been discussed and agreed on. Except we hadn’t discussed it and I hadn’t agreed, and after my complete emotional break-down in his arms just before, I wanted to push back against him. Especially that stuff about owning me.

But lying against his hot, rock hard body, I felt almost…at peace. After two intense orgasms and one complete emotional breakdown, there was nothing left inside me but a strange calm, as if I’d given up a heavy burden that I’d been carrying for far too long. And it was a good feeling, almost as if I wasn’t alone anymore.

I knew I shouldn’t trust it, because I had no idea what was happening between us, but what I did know was that I didn’t want to keep fighting him. I just didn’t have the energy.

Telling him about Mom and not wanting to be dependent on anyone wasn’t something I’d expected to come out of my mouth, but out it came and what he’d said in return, about me being strong and not being her, had touched something vulnerable in me. I didn’t want his reassurance to matter, yet it did, as had the comforting way he’d held me after my emotions had gotten the better of me.

He hadn’t said anything, hadn’t demanded any explanations, not immediately. He’d only held me, letting me fall completely to pieces and I didn’t have to be strong for him. I didn’t have to reassure him. I could weep and be weak and he took it all in his stride.

Still, I didn’t want him answering my phone for me and unilaterally deciding that I wasn’t going to come in for the rest of the day.

Oh come on. You didn’t want to go back to work anyway.

Okay, that was true, but I felt a protest had to made, if only for appearances sake.

“Yes, I have a question,” I said tartly. “Since when did you start making decisions for me?”

“Since you got down on your knees and sucked me off.” His golden eyes glittered, his fingers drifting back to my throat and clasping it gently, his thumb stroking the side of my neck in a slow up and down movement. “You’re mine now and like I said, that means I get to decide what’s good for you and what’s not.”

I opened my mouth to protest, but then remembered what he’d said about how my obsession with him had to be genuine or it wasn’t sexy, and if it wasn’t sexy, it wasn’t what he wanted. So…in a roundabout way, he was telling me that what I wanted did matter, wasn’t he? Which meant he wasn’t going to make any decisions for me that I wouldn’t like.

A small knot of tension somewhere inside me released and I shut my mouth, my annoyance at his bossiness ebbing.

One corner of his mouth lifted in one of his devastating smiles. “Come on, you can’t tell me you actually want to go back to work, hmm?”

---