Page 32 of Hard Discipline

Her cheeks are scarlet now and wet with tears, but her darkened silver gaze is still blazing. “Yes,” she says thickly. “I remember, Master.”

But she’s not going to say it, is she? I can the determination in her eyes and the certainty. She’s not going to give it to me and I have no one to blame for that but myself. I was the one who demanded her trust and her surrender, and she gave them both to me.

You can’t throw them away as if they mean nothing.

I shove the thought from my head, working her ass with my finger, getting her nice and slippery in preparation. And she shivers and trembles, the sound of her soft moans filling the room.

I should send her away right now, especially since she’s not going to give her safe word, but I’m hard and spreading all the lube around has gotten me even harder. So I’ll take what I want first, get her off a couple of times as a nice reward, and only then will I send her away.

Coward.

A wave of anger crashes through my defenses. I’m not a coward, fuck that. Sending her away isn’t about me, it’s abouther. She’s not meant for me. She’s meant for something better, someonebetter. A younger man who hasn’t been tarnished and broken by loss. A man more honest with himself than I am, more adept at keeping relationships than I am. A man who hasn’t burned his whole life to the ground due to grief.

I pull my finger out of her then reach to grip her hips, hauling them back so the soft, hot flesh of her ass is pressing against my groin. She feels so fucking good. I wanted a whole night to explore her, but after this I’ll send her away. She won’t like it, she might even fight me, but in the end she’ll thank me.

“Brace yourself, sub,” I say roughly. “I’m going to fuck you now.”

17

Odette

Ican feel him behind me, his hot skin against the backs of my thighs and my burning ass. There are tears on my cheeks and while some of them are from pain, not all of them are. Some are for me, for my cowardice in distracting him with yet more toys.

I didn’t want to push him, didn’t want to break the spell, and so I embraced the pain of the flogger, letting it hurt me and not even bracing myself for the blows— getting lost in the sensation so I didn’t have to think any of my other stupid feelings.

But then he went and told me I didn’t need to apologize for what I said, that I’d done nothing wrong, and the look in his blue eyes when he told me he had no choice but to stay lost… That was more painful than the flogger.

And it’s why I won’t give him my safe word, even though I know he wants me to say it. He wants an excuse to send me away, but I’m not going to give him one. He said he had to stay lost, but there was something else in his blue eyes when he saidit. A kind of despair and fear. He’s alone, but he doesn’t want to be, I feel it in my soul, because if he did he would have sent me away immediately.

I’m not going to give him a reason, though. I’m going to stay as long as he’ll allow it, because no matter what he says, he doesn’t want to stay lost.

He wants to be found.

So I grit my teeth instead, my hands fisting in the couch cushions as I feel the head of his cock pressing against my ass and pushing inside, slowly, relentlessly. I can’t stop the wail that escapes me and I press my hot face into the velvet of the sofa, moaning into the fabric. It hurts even with the lube, and that’s mainly because he’s so fucking big.

I never did this with Lucas, not once, and I’m fiercely glad we didn’t. I want one thing that’s just Gideon’s and I guess my ass is it.

I can feel myself stretching around him and I groan, even as I arch my back so he can go deeper. It hurts like fuck, but I don’t care. I want this. I want him. He reaches forward, closing his hand around my throat and the weight of it— like a steel collar around my neck— makes everything sharper, more intense. It’s possessive, that hold, and I want to be possessed. I want him to possess me, every single part of me.

“You’ve got a tight ass, sub,” he growls in my ear. “You ever had anyone fuck you there?”

“No,” I gasp as he works even deeper. “No one. It’s all yours, Master.”

He says nothing to that, though his fingers tighten around my throat. Then I feel his other hand take my hip in a strong grip and I try not to tense up in anticipation. He moves, slowly at first then gathering speed, his hips thrusting and his cock pushing in and out of my ass.

It’s agony. It’s ecstasy. It’s everything and I moan helplessly into the fabric of the couch.

“No,” he says, his voice rough as gravel. “Let me hear it. I want every fucking scream, understand me?”

Helpless to do anything but obey, I turn my head to the side, my fingers holding on tight to the cushions for dear life, and I hold nothing back. I give him everything, every scream, every moan, every wail.

“Say it,” he murmurs viciously in my ear, his voice so deep and rough its almost unrecognizable. “Say the word.” He pulls out, then slams back in.

“No.” The word breaks into a moan as he pulls out then thrusts again.

“Say the fucking word, sub,” he snarls, giving another savage thrust.

“No,” I scream into the couch cushions. “I’m not going to say the fucking word. I’m never going to say the fucking word, no matter how hard you fuck me.”

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