Page 33 of Hard Discipline

He gives a growl of frustration, and moves deeper, harder, pushing me to the limit. He thinks he can force it from me, but he can’t. Because he’s taught me I’m stronger than I ever thought I was, and I’m not going to break.

I’m going to break him instead.

He pushes me and he pushes me, and it hurts, but there’s a dirty, savage pleasure to it too. I throw myself into it, glorying in it, and when at last he lets go of my hip and slides one hand between my legs, finding my clit, I know I’ve won.

And I scream as the orgasm rolls over me, grinding me into dust.

Everything after that is a blur. I can feel him thrusting hard and deep until he falls out of rhythm. Then his teeth sink into my shoulder, his roar of release vibrating against my skin.

We don’t move for a long time after that. His weight is pressing me down into the arm of the couch, making it difficult to breathe, but I don’t care. I like feeling how relaxed he is, how sated. Because I did that to him. That was all me.

Eventually, he shifts, pulling out of me. And I feel him run light fingers down my spine, making me shiver. “Are you okay?” he asks, an edge in his voice. “Any pain anywhere?”

My ass is burning from the flogger and from his massive cock, but I feel as if I’m flying so it doesn’t bother me. “No,” I mumble against the fabric of the sofa. “Also, if you send me away now, I’m not going to go. You’ll have to call the police to have me arrested for trespassing.”

There’s a long silence. Every muscle of my body is lax and honestly, I don’t think I can move. My legs are jelly and my arms are noodles. I’m just going to collapse in a gelatinous heap on the carpet.

Except then I feel his arms around me, gathering me up. And somehow I’m lying against his hot, bare chest and we’re moving. My head is resting against his powerful shoulder and when I look up at him, there’s a strange expression on his face. I can’t work it out. “You heard what I said, right?” I ask. “I’m not leaving.”

He glances down at me, a flash of intense blue. “You should have said your safe word.”

“Why? I didn’t say it, because I didn’t feel unsafe.”

A strange expression flickers over his face. “You should have.”

His shoulder is warm, the muscle beneath his skin powerful and solid. I’m feeling good, so good. Good enough that I say, “Don’t do that, Gideon.”

“Don’t do what?”

“Don’t distance me.”

“You’re a fine one to talk,” he says. “Using toys to distract me.”

“You didn’t have let yourself be distracted,” I point out.

He doesn’t reply, carrying me down a short hallway before turning and going into a huge bathroom. Setting me on the vanity top, he goes over to a massive walk-in shower and turns it on, holding out a hand to test the water. Then, when he’s satisfied with the temperature, he comes over to me, picks me up again, and then steps into the shower with me in his arms. The warm water is heaven and I close my eyes as he sets me on my feet. His hands move over my body as he washes me with the most incredible-smelling body wash. I feel as if I’m floating and I don’t want to come down, especially when he moves under the water with me and I’m held against his muscled chest, his fingers moving up and down my spine.

“Jesus Christ, what am I going to do with you?” he asks softly.

I open my eyes and look up at him, the water falling around us. His eyes are the most brilliant shade of blue. “You’re going to keep me,” I say. “I’m going to be your sub. And one day, when you’re ready, I’ll come and find you, and you won’t be lost anymore.”

He doesn’t look away. His dark brows draw down in a slight frown, yet his arms around me tighten. “You can’t fall for me, Odette. I’m twice your age, I’m grieving, I’ve got nothing to offer anyone right now, let alone one young woman who deserves far more than I can give her.”

“Too late,” I say, because itistoo late. I’ve fallen for him already and I know it. “Besides, how do you know what I deserve?” I lay my palms on his broad chest, feeling the heat of his body burning into my skin. “Perhaps a man twice my age and grieving, with nothing to offer, is exactly what I deserve.”

His gaze holds mine and I can see desire flicker in the blue depths, along with a hunger for something else, something more. “Odette,” he says again, and I can hear the regret in it. But not only regret. I can hear longing in it too.

“Well,” I say. “I’m not going to force myself on you if you don’t want it.” And I try to step away. It’s a gamble doing this, because he might indeed let me go, and I don’t know what I’ll do if he does. Yet just when I think his arms are going to open, they tighten instead, pressing me for firmly against his body. “No,” he says, his voice deep and rough. “Don’t go.”

I stand very still, looking up at him, my heartbeat racing. “You want me to stay with you?”

His eyes are a fierce, dense blue. “Yes,” he says. “No. Fuck, I don’t know.”

I lift an eyebrow as a warmth fills me that has nothing to do with the temperature of the water. “How about I stay for a little bit longer. The whole night, say.”

He’s looking at me with a fierce intensity now and there’s a kind of awe in it, too. “Tomorrow night, too,” he says.

“Okay.” I lean against him and smile, feeling as if I’ve just been given a winning lottery ticket. “I’ll check my diary but I don’t think I’ve got anything on.”

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