Page 77 of Finding You

“To be fair, we always have the cake available. And Chloe is a whiz with a sandwich platter,” Billie explained. “So dig in!”

They ate and, at first, talked about the local gossip, and basic chit-chat without touching on the reason they were all together. But eventually, Ashlynn was the one to broach the subject.

“Are you ready to see your mom?”

Nodding, MacKenzie told them about the conversation the two of them had and how it made her feel better about going. “I’ll get on the road tomorrow kind of early–maybe I’ll swing in here and get some coffee and a muffin for the road–but the sooner I leave, the more miles I can get it. I only want to drive like eight hours a day. Maybe ten. I guess I’ll see how I’m feeling each day. But it should take five to six days of driving to get there.”

“I think that’s great,” Jade said, “but…are you planning on like…staying there? Permanently?”

“That was the plan when I first started this,” she replied.

“But what about Devin?” Avery asked. “Have you thought about maybe just going to Oregon for a visit and then coming back?”

Forcing herself to take a bite of her sandwich, she nodded again and took a moment to think of the best way to explain. “I thought about it, but…Devin hasn’t really asked. I mean…he mentioned the possibility of me staying, but that was before I spoke to my mom. And he hasn’t mentioned it since.” She shrugged and tried to look like it wasn’t killing her. “Maybe part of him is relieved to be getting rid of me. After all, I just sort of bulldozed my way into his life.”

“Devin isnotrelieved,” Chloe said, sounding very adamant, and very unlike her usual quiet self. “Everyone can see that he’s crazy about you. I’d bet good money that he’s trying to be honorable and not get in the way of you reconnecting with your mom.Ow!” She glanced hard at her Ashlynn, but didn’t say anything.

“Um…”

“We don’t want to pry,” Billie began cautiously, “but…believe me when I say that my sisters and I are very familiar with strained relationships with a parent. Our dad walked out when we were young and we rarely saw him. Then he started coming back around and…Ash and Chloe seem to handle it better than I am. I’m just…I can’t really forgive him. He’s apologized and said all the right things and yet…”

“What she’s trying to say,” Ashlynn interjected, “is that it’s not easy reconnecting with a parent. It’s not just like you flip a switch and suddenly forget all the years they weren’t there. And as much as we’re trying to rebuild our relationship, I don’t think I’d be comfortable if our dad was around all the time. It’s still a little weird.”

“It doesn’t have to be,” Jade commented. “And I’m looking at this from Levi’s side because I’ve witnessed a lot over the last year. It takes an effort on both sides, but it can turn into something wonderful and…ow!” She glared at Ashlynn.

“Okay, I have to ask…why are you kicking everyone?” she asked Ashlynn.

“It’s a weird tick that I have,” she replied sweetly. “Like an aggressive twitch.” She looked at Chloe and Jade. “Sorry.”

MacKenzie didn’t believe that for one minute, but kept that to herself.

“Anyway…”

“Have you thought about maybe just doing like your mom suggested and flying out for a week to test the waters?” Avery asked. “It seems like a lot of effort to drive all that way. What if you hate Oregon?”

“But what if I love it?” she countered. “What if that’s truly where I’m supposed to be?” And there was zero joy in that question because she was seriously having all kinds of second thoughts. And if Devin just gave her even the slightest encouragement, she’d reconsider everything.

But he hadn’t.

And she had a feeling Chloe was right, and he wouldn’t.

Damn him and his stellar good manners!

Tossing her sandwich aside, she grabbed a frosted brownie and took a huge bite. Oddly enough, it relaxed her. And with a mouthful, she asked the question she didn’t think she would. “Let’s just say that…I had deep feelings for Devin and wanted to stay. How do I let him know that without freaking him out?”

“Oh, my God! You’re in love with him! Yay!” Avery cheered, clapping her hands.

“I didn’t say…”

“But you’re notnotin love with him, right?” Ashlynn asked.

Good grief, this was getting her nowhere.

“How is it even possible that I feel this way?” she demanded, shaking her brownie for emphasis. “Can you even fall in love in two weeks? Is that a thing? Am I wrong, or maybe just romanticizing all of this?”

“Okay, let’s think about this logically,” Billie said. “Have you ever been in lust before?”

Her bark of laugher was her first response. “Of course I have! Who hasn’t?”

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