Page 78 of Finding You

Chloe silently raised her hand, but no one really paid any attention.

“Did it feel like this?” Billie asked her. “What you feel about Devin right now, is it like all the times you were…you know…in lust?”

She didn’t even have to think about it. “No.”

“When you think about leaving here tomorrow, do you think about missing the sex or missing the person?” Avery chimed in.

Again, she didn’t have to think. “The person. I seriously love just talking with him and making dinner with him or sitting on the couch and reading or watching some TV…”

“First, I love that you said reading,” Jade commented with a grin. “That is the sign of a good relationship if the two of you sit and read together.”

“Or…it could mean that they’re bored and don’t want to talk to one another,” Ashlynn countered.

“Why are you like this?” Billie asked with a huff.

“Like what? I’m just playing devil’s advocate, that’s all,” Ashlynn argued before looking at MacKenzie again. “Were you reading because you had nothing to talk about?”

“Actually, no. We had both come in here last week and picked up some new books that we were excited about. So after dinner that night, we both curled up on the couch and read for a little while. And when we went to bed, we talked about what our books were about.”

“Like a romantic little book club!” Jade gushed. “I love it!”

Groaning, Ashlynn shook her head before saying, “I’m sure you’ve done that with other guys, right? It’s not like this is something special you just did with Devin.”

“It is! Honestly, I never even thought about sitting and reading with a guy! It always sounded boring, but now…now I see how…I don’t know…nice it can be.”

“Nice? Nice is nice, Mac,” Ashlynn argued again. “Nice isn’t love. Maybe you’re just in…like with Devin?”

“No,” she said adamantly. “It’s love, I know it’s love!”

And for someone who had been snarky for most of the meal, Ashlynn’s face transformed into a huge smile. “That’s what I was waiting for!”

“Wait…what?”

“You had to admit it on your own! I wanted you to figure it out for yourself!” she went on. “And now…now you can stay!”

“Um…that’s not what I said.”

All of their expressions fell.

“But…you love him,” Chloe said. “Why would you leave if you love him?”

“Because I need to make things work with my mother!” She let out a weary sigh. “It’s like…no one’s getting that!”

“We’re getting it,” Billie said sympathetically. “But I guess we’re all just wondering why it has to be one or the other. Why can’t you start slow with your mom and work into building that relationship, and stay here in Sweetbriar? Then, at some point, you go to Oregon!”

“I think we’re all missing one key point here–Devin hasn’t asked me to stay.”

“Maybe he’s waiting for you to tell him you want to stay?” Avery suggested.

“Ugh…this shouldn’t be this hard!” she groaned before popping the rest of the brownie into her mouth.

“Obviously Devin’s being considerate,” Jade said. “He’s kind of a shy guy, so you’re just going to have to be the bold one, MacKenzie. If this is what you want, you’re going to have to tell him how you feel.”

Another groan. “Are we sure there isn’t another way? I don’t think I could stand it if I put it all out there and he didn’t feel the same way. Or worse, if he said he really thought I should go.” She shook her head. “I think I’m going to just…go to Oregon. I’ll test the waters with my mother, stay at a hotel, and just…keep in touch with Devin. If he misses me, maybe he’ll ask me then to come back.”

“MacKenzie…”

“I just can’t handle the possibility of rejection!” she snapped and then immediately apologized. “It’s happened too many times before and I don’t think I’d survive it coming from Devin. I know you’re all disappointed, but…it’s all I’ve got.”

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