Page 39 of Saddles

There’s a sense of finality with it.

Shifting to my side, I curl up near the edge of the mattress so I can catch a glimpse of him. “Why are you all by yourself? I mean, you seem nice enough. You have a job, a dog, and—” I don’t want to say he’s good looking. That might make it weird. “—a horse. I bet you’re a catch.”

His next pause is even longer.

Maybe I should just let him rest?

“Why did you prefer being by yourself?” he asks quietly.

“Oh gosh.” I roll flat to watch the firelight tickle the rafters. “Are you sure you want me to trauma dump? It sounds fucking petty now compared to…” My hand escapes from the blanket to wave in an idle circle he probably can’t see. Is that my new criteria? Will I forever compare everything to the last few days of being trapped with the monsters?

“Dump away. I have no one to tell.” His voice is clearer, like he’s facing up too.

“My dad is an asshole. A lawyer, go figure so he knows how to argue. My mom got drunk constantly to even be able to be in the same room as him. Made me spend a lot of time in my room to avoid them.” I hated the screaming the most.

They’d both dissolve to calling names and throwing things against the walls before Mom had enough and left.

“You said you’re in college. I bet you’ve got friends there.” His tone is soothing.

Is he trying to placate me? Or is he really interested?

I don’t know, but I’m vested now.

“Most of the girls in the ag programs act like they have a chip on their shoulders, like they have something to prove. And the guys in college are, well, college guys.” I really don’t know how to describe it any better.

Ford laughs softly. “Yea, we always get a handful of those boys wanting to run cows when school gets out in the spring. It doesn’t take long before they learn that there aren't any girls out on the range, and there’s only one bar between here and Campton.”

“I bet it’s easy to disappear out there though.” My thumb works over the scab on my wrist from the cuffs. “I wish I could make those two assholes vanish. Maybe it’d make it hurt less.”

Why is it easier to be vulnerable in the dark, where I can’t see his reaction?

He takes a long inhale, then lets it out slowly. “I’ll do everything in my power to make those fuckers pay, April. But I can tell you from experience, it doesn’t make the pain go away.”

It’s bittersweet knowing he’s saying the truth.

Wait.

“What do you mean? What happened?” I wonder what he had to seek revenge for?

I can hear his teeth grit.

“Might be a story best saved for another day. Get some sleep, April. Let me keep you safe so you can rest.” He sounds tired.

Exhausted.

He didn’t a moment ago.

Damn.

He sniffles hard and turns towards the fire making Roscoe sigh and shift against him.

I can just see his hand with the jack-o-lantern tattoo flatten on the wood floor, then tighten into a fist before he wipes at his cheek.

The flames reflect off his eyes as he stares at the stove.

Whatever he’s not telling me must be a doozy.

Is it about a girl? Did he get his heart broken?

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