Page 55 of Saddles

It’s a conspiracy.

“Is this an intervention?” I can taste the sarcasm in my words.

Why am I fighting her?

Because that’s what I always do, keep everyone at arm’s length.

Saves me grief.

“Does it need to be? You’re the only person in the world that’s had shitty things happen to them?” Her hand waves. “I’m not trying to devalue your loss, Ford. I’m just trying to figure out why you insist on wallowing in the pain of the past.” Her lips purse, but the bottom one begins to tremble. “At least, I hope that’s what’s going on, and it’s not the fact that I’m ruined that’s pushing you away.”

Oh, I fucked up. Big time.

I let the bucket drop and rush over, dropping onto my heels in front of her.

Her fingers are freezing when I pull them into my palms. “That isnotthe case at all. It’s me, I’m broken, frosty.” My chest aches knowing I’m hurting her.

It’s for the best. She’ll be happier in her life without me in it.

With a sharp yank, Pepper grabs the brim of my hat in her teeth and rips it off my head. Nodding her own, she proceeds to beat me with my own Stetson.

“For fuck’s sake.” I toss up my elbow to block her assault, while April breaks out into a peal of giggles.

“She knows you’re full of shit, too.” April stands, rescuing my battered hat with soothing words towards the mare.

When she faces me, she presents it like a slobbered trophy. “Maybe, just for today, you can pretend that you like me. Let me think that there’s someone in this world who wants what’s best for me? Is that a big ask, Ford?” Her blond hair tufts around her head in the breeze, a golden aura backlit by the morning sun.

Her smile is a beacon, the shine of held tears in her honey eyes beg me to give her any sign of hope.

It stirs a drive in me to give her anything she wants.

My worn hat finds its home on my head, and I do my best to return a lopsided grin. “Yea, that’s the easiest favor I’ve ever been asked.” I pull her in, hugging her to my chest, burying her against my throat.

If only she could feel the way my heart beats faster when I hold her. Or that she’s been the first glimmer of anything besides pain that I’ve felt for years.

She rubs her cheek against me then pulls away. “You’re itchy.” Her nail peels an alfalfa leaf off of her chin. “Oh.”

“It kinda exploded. I just have to give Pepper her grain and the last of the water if you wanted to go to the cabin. I promise I won’t take long.” I’ll do my best to make today a good one, I swear.

“Can I feed her?” She bounces on her toes, already moving towards the bin and scoop.

“Sure, she likes you better anyhow.” And just when I thought I had one friend left, Roscoe hops up and follows April.

Like he’sherdog.

They see her like I do.

Full of vigor, laughter, and tenacity. She’s a stubborn force of nature, stronger than any storm.

She didn’t beat the odds to survive, she stacked them in her favor and reset the board.

I bet once she’s out of here, she hits the ground running.

She better not look back. Someone like me, I’d only hold her down.

Watching her beaming smile as she drops her forehead to Pepper’s, it makes the chill of the wind fade away with the warmth of her raw emotion.

Fuck, I can’t just stare at her all damn morning.

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