Page 61 of Saddles

Facing her, I loop my elbow under her head and pull her tight, burying her face against my throat.

I don’t relent when she tries to wedge her knee between mine.

“Ford?” she mumbles into the hollow beneath my Adam’s apple. “I’m suffocating.”

“You’re like wrestling an octopus,” I grunt, freeing her to lie on her back.

Her wiggling makes my cock snug against my zipper, my lifesaver at the moment.

“Is it wrong I just want to touch you?” She turns on my arm, her face hidden in my shadow from the light of the fire.

“No.” My voice sounds like I’ve been eating rocks. “It’s just…you’re leaving tomorrow.” The piece of me that’s fought so hard against getting attached to her is in its death throes.

Because I don’t want her to go.

This feels too fucking right, but it ain’t fair to her.

Her fingers play over mine where they rest on her belly.

She has a quiver with every inhale that ripples through my arm.

I have to ignore it.

As she traces my jack-o-lantern, dancing her nail over my knuckles, my dick is a painful reminder of why this shouldn’t happen. Every stroke leaves a scorching trail.

Her short hair tickles my bicep when she moves again, pressing herself close enough to drape her leg over mine, spreading her thighs just inches from where my palm sits.

I hate how close I am to giving in to the urge to explore.

She’s been brutalized, and abandoned by her family.

I’m not taking advantage of her.

When her fingers move away, I hope it’s to fall asleep.

Even if it’s the last thing on my mind.

But when her fist balls into the fabric of her shirt, and pulls it out from between my hand and the skin of her belly, I know I’m going to be fighting this all night.

“Ford?” she asks shakily.

Maybe if I pretend to be almost out, she’ll give up? “Hmm?”

A tremor betrays her words. “Can you help me?” She puts pressure on my wrist, pushing me lower until my pinky brushes the hem of her waist.

“April, I—” All I want to do is taste her. Touch her. And make time stand still. “—I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I know you won’t, I trust you.” She flattens my hand, threading it below the elastic. “I just want this one good memory to focus on while I’m going through hell out there.”

“You’re the toughest woman I know. Stick close to Black Gulch, they’ll keep you safe when I can’t.” That chokes me up.

Should I figure out some way to go back? But who would come out here?

No one. And the entire herd would be at risk.

Fuck.

I can just catch the flicker of her lashes blinking rapidly before I feel the droplet land on my arm.

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